But I trust in your unfailing love.
I will rejoice because you have rescued me.
I will sing to the LORD
because he has been so good to me.
(Psalm 13:5-6 NLT)
I thought writing love letters to God would be easy. The frustration occurs when I attempt to write lovely letters, rather than true expressions of my heart, like Lynn D. Morrissey encourages in Love Letters to God: Deeper Intimacy Through Written Prayer:
I don't know why, but I feel awkward with God lately.
Am I struggling with accepting His love for me, yet again?
So, I start thinking about the word, beloved, again. If I break the word apart it says, be loved.
Be. Loved.
The Spirit whispers, "Let Me love you. Don't shrink away. Don't listen to the lies that you're not measuring up." I whisper back, "Okay."
A Prayer of Response:
Beloved-
Here we are! Another day! Me curled up in my chair, with the cat next to me, pen in hand, ink on paper . . .I am listening. I am seeking. I pore over words looking for a phrase to move me toward and forward to Your heart, Your will, Your way . . . my heart is clogged with worldly angst. Desire for relief, comfort, even nothingness.
Yet You have all this existence surrounding me, begging me to exist, breathe, live and move within it. Sometimes I feel so alive, I could burst. Other times everything falls flat.
Help me to put aside my agenda for today. I just want to rest in Your presence. Imagine what it was like for you to become "word made flesh." You understand my fears and insecurities. Grant peace. Immerse me in your love. Let me be soaked with your love, joy, hope, peace, purpose and grace upon grace.
Your beloved- Kel
It is the gift of the whole heart that God most desires-a heart without pretense and posturing; a heart in all its honesty, beauty, passion and brokenness; a heart pulsing with love, joy, sadness, delight, doubt, pain, anguish, even anger. True love expresses all emotions, and true love-God's true love for you-accepts them.
I don't know why, but I feel awkward with God lately.
Am I struggling with accepting His love for me, yet again?
So, I start thinking about the word, beloved, again. If I break the word apart it says, be loved.
Be. Loved.
The Spirit whispers, "Let Me love you. Don't shrink away. Don't listen to the lies that you're not measuring up." I whisper back, "Okay."
A Prayer of Response:
Beloved-
Here we are! Another day! Me curled up in my chair, with the cat next to me, pen in hand, ink on paper . . .I am listening. I am seeking. I pore over words looking for a phrase to move me toward and forward to Your heart, Your will, Your way . . . my heart is clogged with worldly angst. Desire for relief, comfort, even nothingness.
Yet You have all this existence surrounding me, begging me to exist, breathe, live and move within it. Sometimes I feel so alive, I could burst. Other times everything falls flat.
Help me to put aside my agenda for today. I just want to rest in Your presence. Imagine what it was like for you to become "word made flesh." You understand my fears and insecurities. Grant peace. Immerse me in your love. Let me be soaked with your love, joy, hope, peace, purpose and grace upon grace.
Your beloved- Kel
Kel, your heart is so pure; your transparency so refreshing. Thank you for sharing this intimate moment with The LORD with all of us. You teach by your actions! Be Loved, I love it!
ReplyDeleteDiane- Thank you for your kind words...I think my heart needs lots of purifying :)but I appreciate that you can see God at work in me.
DeleteThe prayers of the broken seem to reach the highest and return via the hand of God. I know Lynn's inspiration for her book was just that; brokenness... Beautiful prayer and heart. God bless.
ReplyDeleteFloyd- Yes it is out of our brokenness that the highest good is born. And the deepest praises rise up to God out of our ashes.
DeleteThe prayers of the broken seem to reach the highest and return via the hand of our Father. I know Lynn's heart and prayers were found in her need and brokenness. What a gift from God to all of us. Beautiful prayer and heart. God bless.
ReplyDeleteKel! Oh my- I am so excited I had to rush over and tell you- I found my book! I did have it! It was on the stairs to the basement. Brand new...one of those I bought because of it's appeal but left untouched. Smiling at the thought of us sharing so many of the same struggles and graces...beautiful words shared as always today in your authentic, transparent and real voice and heart!
ReplyDeleteDawn- Yipee! You are going to love Lynn's book...it's like a luxurious retreat with God right in your hands...food for the soul! And aren't the illustrations just gorgeous! Can't wait to see what others are Writing to God over at your place tomorrow! Enjoy your day!
DeleteKel and Dawn and Floyd,
ReplyDeleteI have tears in my eyes. I have re-read a number of journal prayers lately, where I cried out to the Lord, knowing that this book he gave me to write was dead. Shortly after its publication (which, in itself, was a ten-year struggle of "becoming," with a number of rejections, five from the very publisher that published it!!), God told me to lay the book on the altar. After several booksignings and interviews, God showed me to stop doing anything whatever to "promote" it and to stop writing and speaking professionally. He has not given me a green light to start again, but I am sensing hints of it. I told Him that it made no earthly sense to stop helping to get the book into the hands of the public. He asked me to write it so that others might *read* it! Why else write it?! And yet, as well-known author and speaker, Anne Ortlund told me, in the end, I wrote it out of obedience to Him, and i needed to plant it "on the backside of the desert for Him to behold." I did that, and then left the consequences to Him. Imagine my utter amazement that nine years later (the book was published around this time in 2004), two people I've never met--Floyd and Dawn--and now some others I've met on the Internet, are reading Love Letters to God and being changed, not by *my* words, but my the message God laid on my heart. It is a staggering surprise, and a gratifying one......because I know that when you start journaling your soul to God, your life will be transformed. And you will draw closer to Him than you ever thought possible. And, Kel, just as the quote from my book, which you have quoted above, just express all that is in your heart to God. It doesn't have to sound lovely to you. It will be to Him......and He will accept all you write to HIm, because true love accepts us. So, yes, maybe this is an issue for you of knowing just how much He really does love you!
Dawn, I smiled widely to think you have books on your basement stairs! I recall how my mother used to stack books on the stairs going up to my sister's and my room--for us to take! We practically killed ourselves tripping over them rather than picking them up!
And w/ re: to our basement and books, besides having books in every room of the house (including our pantry for heaven's sakes--food for thought!), I have forty-million books in boxes in the basement. My husband swears that the house is sinking!
I do hope that you will enjoy the book. Let me know if you have questions, and Kel can give you my email.
And Floyd, I continue to stand amazed at your enthusiasm about journaling and your kind comments about a women's book. But hopefully it's not a froo-froo book! =]
Love to all.
Lynn
Lynni- Oh how pleased I am that God is bringing your book back to life. Another friend of ours Carol G. is reading it again for Lent as well. God has His seasons for everything. I hope this response to your book, will be a quiet invitation from God for you to write for publication again one of these days :) Maybe it is a new dream that He is birthing in you...Love-Kel
DeleteOh Carol. How lovely! Our Carol (from journaling?) And so funny you should mention "invitation," b/c I was literally just writing out some notes this afternoon about a potential journaling class on that topic. The road to publication is an arduous one (even as a seasoned author), and I always think that no one in her right mind would attempt it. :-) Yet, it's not our choice. We follow the path He marks for us, and then He paves the way. Praying.....thank you for your encouragement, as always!, Kel!!
Deletelove
lynni