Need: A Condition Requiring Supply or Relief

The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still. 

(Exodus 14:14)

In my journal, I wrote "need" in a circle and then wrote a cluster of words connected to that circle. Words like: plan, home, wholeness, food and God. Then from each of those word more words surfaced, but the repeating refrain were words like peace, rest, and quiet. 

I often complain that I don't have enough time, but today that wasn't on my list. Strangely I have plenty of time and we are headed out soon for our vacation with lots of hours to wile away. 

My more pressing need appears to be a plan. It is easy to think of vacation as a time of empty calendar squares to be filled with nothing or at least not the normal routine. We plan our vacation with details like where will we go, what will we see, what we need to bring, what clothes to wear, etc. Sometimes I resist planning because I think plans hinder fun and spontaneity.

But in reality, structure does allow us more flexibility. This flows over into my spiritual life. I must admit I have been winging it lately. Taking a meandering, nonchalant walk through Scripture. Dabbling in a devotion. Nibbling on Psalms. But no real meaty meditation or systematic study.

I need a plan. 

But I have another problem, namely too many choices. And let me tell you there are no shortage of plans for reading the Bible, praying to God, online Bible studies, community Bible studies, etc. But that is not the real problem. 

My real problem is acedia: spiritual boredom. It's not a new phenomena, even the desert fathers struggled with it and prayed against it. 

I have read the Psalms before. I have participated in a variety of Bible studies. I have put on the armor of God. 

What am I lacking? Stillness. Just absorbing God. Letting Him fight for me, love me and release me. I need Him to forgive me for taking Him for granted. Eat my psalms, even if I am tired of them, like I tire of peas or broccoli. In the eating, I will begin to enjoy the nourishment again. Oh, to listen and hear Him speak to me, and not merely read the words on the page, that is pure joy!

I need God. 

What do you need today?

Linking up with Soli Deo Gloria Sisterhood