Comfort: To Give Strength and Hope To {Intuition Diaries}

Give me a sign of your goodness,

that my enemies may see it and be put to shame,

for you, O LORD, have helped me and comforted me. 

(Psalm 86:17 NIV)

First day of classes at Cornell University

This morning we rode our bikes into town to visit the campus of Cornell University, eat lunch and buy groceries. 

You may find it strange that I am combining the word comfort and the above Scripture with today's post. Bear with me. We all have these little enemies that reside in our heads. The ones who tell us we won't amount to much or the what ifs...kinda like George in It's a Wonderful Life. 

Circumstances kept him from his big dream of traveling the world, but in the end he realizes his true treasure is family and community.

Circumstances kept me from going to Cornell University. So when we had the chance to visit the campus, I was sort of excited and nervous at the same time. What little voices might whisper to me, like what if I had been able to attend college here right out of high school? What would my life had been like? 

Once we got to the main road leading up the hill to the campus, we had to walk our bikes about eight steep blocks. When we got back on our bikes near the sign welcoming us to the university, I was overwhelmed by emotion. I held it in. We parked our bikes after  navigating through the students milling around the bookstore.

We went to an overlook to take photos of Cayuga Lake beyond the campus. Down where our boat was sitting in the state park marina.

At the campus overlooking Cayuga Lake

I started to talk to Les and I melted into sobs. I admitted to God that I was quite upset with Him for thwarting the opportunity for me to go to this school. Les listened, and I blubbered that I wouldn't change my life for anything, but I needed to grieve this apparent loss. As well as other losses that have accumulated over the years. I actually told Les that I was angry with God. And he said for how long? And I said, since I was born. Such crazy, but true thoughts.

The life we desire can't be attained here. It is post Eden disappointment that was driving my tears today. It was comforting to admit my grief. And to move on to more comforting thoughts, such as how thankful I am for the family that I have today: my mom, my sisters, Les, the boys and all the nieces and nephews, aunts and uncles, and cousins. And other blessings too long to account for here, right now.

The life we have is wonderful. To celebrate we got back on our bikes, descended the hill with much more ease and delight and found the The State Diner, where we ate comfort food to our heart's content.

Back at the boat, after we stowed our groceries, we sat in the shade. And then, it occurred to me that thirty years ago today, I could have been going to my first classes at Cornell. But God had a better plan, thirty years ago about this time I joined the Air Force and eventually met the love of my life, Les Rohlf. One of the many signs of goodness in our lives, being together.

Look ma, I'm at Cornell University