Do not sorrow,
for the joy of the Lord
is your strength.
(Nehemiah 8:10b NKJV)
Relax, I tell myself. Again. I am not good at relaxing. I suppose I never learned how, or at least that's what I tell myself.
Then last night, at the dinner table with my mom and sister, the youngest niece bounces in, snuggles into her mom. She had been throwing up just hours ago. He brother sleeps sprawled on the couch. She snuggles and nuzzles deeper into her mother's side. She burbles with energy.
We all look at her astonished. We tease her, guess you're feeling better. She grins. She bobs her head up at her mother and asks if she can show Aunt Kel something. Of course. She runs to her room to get it. She gets absorbed actually showing the game to her mom, instead of me.
My sister pauses, looks at the little child chattering away, lightly bouncing on the bench next to her. She asks nonchalantly,
"Do you know how to relax?"
Still full of glee, enjoying her video game, without looking up at us she answers succinctly, "Nope!"
I laugh. I see reflected in this young five year old girl, a zeal for living, energy propelling her past obstacles and a strength of purpose that will serve her well. Growing up so fast and then I wonder if that's why I never learned to relax.
She will have still moments, but they will be rare. I know. I can be still now, because I have trained myself, but really there's always a stream of life flowing beneath the surface urging me on.