Cairn: A Heap of Stones Piled Up as a Memorial

When Jacob awoke from his sleep, he thought, “Surely the Lord is in this place, and I was not aware of it.” He was afraid and said, “How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God; this is the gate of heaven.”

Early the next morning Jacob took the stone he had placed under his head and set it up as a pillar and poured oil on top of it. He called that place Bethel, though the city used to be called Luz.

Genesis 28:16-19


Tuesday's Pics

 

 

The concept of a cairn was introduced to me when I visited my sister and her family, while they were living on a farm in Scotland. The cairn throne was a wedding gift to the farmer and his wife. A Scottish marker of the hightest point on their property and a memorial to their wedding vows.

 

I collected the small pile of stones on our  recent vacation at special spots along the shore of Lake Michigan. I piled them on my table the other morning as a reminder of God's goodness to us this summer.

 

Yesterday, I happened upon a blog post about cairns and culture and community and listening.

 

I leave you with the photos to enjoy and a link to the article: Cairn-making.

Abecedarian: Alphabetically Arranged

An excellent wife who can find?
She is far more precious than jewels.

Proverbs 31:10 ESV

 

 

Did you know that the tribute to the woman in Proverbs 31:10-31 is a Hebrew abecedarian poem? Each line starts with a letter of the Hebrew alphabet.  I have been mulling this passage over lately. Such praise, such accomplishment is too wonderful for me. I used to think I could live up to every aspect of the poem. But as I grow wiser, I realize I will never accomplish half of her feats, and not even sure I want to anymore.

However, as I was thinking about an excellent wife, my mind wandered over to the metaphor of Christ calling us His bride. This thought inspired my own abecedarian declaration of the kind of woman I want to be for my Savior!

Proverbs 31: A Re-Telling

A woman who does not

B eat herself up because she

C an’t

D o

Everything, yet she

 

F inds
G oodness
H umor &
I nspiration in

J esus—

K ing of Kings!

L ord of Lords!

M entioning His

N ame

O n
P urpose.

Q uieting her questions with

R eflections on her

 

S avior.

T elling everyone about His

U nfailing Love.

 

V oicing the Bridegroom’s

W onderful  Graces.

X alting His Name Always!

Y ahweh- Yireh!

Z ealous for His Kingdom!

 

God Loves Us

I don't usually post on Sunday, but I read an encouraging, centering prayer over at Writing...Apples of Gold, which I want to print out and use for my prayer times this week.

 

I checked out her link to The Sunday Community, and thought I'd post an acronym prayer that I wrote today at a monthly Journaling Group.

God Loves Us

Great
Omniscient
Divine One--

Let
Our hearts
View
Every
Situation in Your Light.

Unveil Your
Salvation!

Graceful:Displaying Grace in Form or Action

Get wisdom; get insight;
do not forget, and do not turn away
from the words of my mouth.
Do not forsake her, and she will keep you;
love her, and she will guard you.
The beginning of wisdom is this:
Get wisdom,
and whatever you get, get insight.
Prize her highly, and she will exalt you;
she will honor you if you embrace her.
She will place on your head a graceful garland;
she will bestow on you a beautiful crown.

Proverbs 4:5-9 ESV


Today I am participating in two Link Events.

Five Minute Fridays where bloggers are given a word and five minutes to write about it. This event is hosted by Lisa-Jo, the Gypsy Mama. Here's my musings about the word Graceful:

Graceful swans sail across the bay reminding me of a lifetime partnership living life from day to day. Water ballerinas gliding from side to side, and yet sometimes their form interrupts for a dive under the water, fishing for something to eat.

Bottoms ups…giggles…girls on a English shore feeding ducks…how I long for the grace filled days of holiday or vacation as we call it in America.

On vacation, the emptiness of the calendar days seem filled to the brim with grace…grace to do whatever happens upon our way.

But the same emptiness back home can echo with grief…a quiet home, no boys tromping through the house at wee hours of the morning… isolated because I am tired and struggling to embrace grace…

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community...

Second Link will be with Beneath the Surface and the Random Journal Day


Here are a couple entries from my Summer 2008 Journal:

I had forgotten about this doodle...it makes me smile...something about the five senses or dedicating my whole self to God...I can't remember.

 

Journal Entry from 6.24.08

Last Morning at Kelly's (A Mini Retreat)

 

Here's what I scribbled...

 

Boy, did we laugh and cry a bunch these past few days. God you are wonderful and I love how you weave together friendships, journeys and healing paths. You are so very kind and compassionate. Open the eyes of our heart as we go forward into the rest of this summer...Knit our hearts and minds to yours and each other. Thank you for these SOUL sisters.

 

(You know who you are if you are reading this post :)

Thrilling Guest Thursdays

Today I am going to introduce you to several bloggers that I have been following lately...

To journey over to their blogs...

Click on the button or the title of their blog.

     
(These two bloggers have beautiful words and photos to contemplate)

Writing...Apples of Gold (A great resource for those needing a writer for both business and devotional needs)

Sustainable Christianity (My favorite blog about discipleship and the church)

A Holy Experience (Lyrical prose contemplations about gratitutude)

Daisy Yellow (A great site if you want to try Art Journaling)

I know this is an ecclectic list, but would you expect anything less.

Enjoy!

Wonder: Rapt Attention

 
The whole earth is filled with awe at your wonders;
where morning dawns, where evening fades,
you call forth songs of joy.

Psalm 65:8

 

The Intuition Diaries 

Another morning has dawned, and soon the evening will fade. We have enjoyed another spectacular day out on Lake Michigan. Once out of the harbor of Port Washington, we knew we had a choppy ride ahead. I remembered that I could move our dinette seat and make a forward facing seat, much better way to observe the wonders of the lake. I knew we would see more lighthouses, but I wasn’t expecting all the silos. On the coast of Wisconsin, the farms sit above the lake on the bluffs overlooking the water.

We went past Sheboygan making our way to Manitowoc, one port of S. S. Badger, a steam driven car ferry from the 1950s that goes between Michigan and Wisconsin, across the lake each day. We weren’t sure if we would see the famous boat. Wonder of wonders, it was arriving at the harbor at the same time we were approaching. It was pretty daunting to work our way into the harbor without getting in its way. Courteous as we are, we pulled back the throttle and gave way for the legend.

S. S. Badger

 

 

As we were bouncing our way over the lake to Manitowoc, I was thinking.

Yep, I really can’t stop. But this time I was wondering. (My sister’s Facebook status has “wonder” as her occupation.) Oh, to be occupied with wonder! As I was recalling her clever status, one thought led to another.

I thought of all the things that cause wonder, like the clouds in the sky. How do they hang there and why do they come in so many shapes? I know there are scientific reasons, but I was wondering if God delights in making them so varied or if some days He decides to have a cloud art class with the angels and they hang them in the sky for us to observe. Silly-- sure, but fun to think about.

God has given us so many ways to be occupied with wonder. We can marvel at the feats of history, like the fact that during WWII, a small community in Manitowoc, WI, made submarines. Les was able to tour one today, while I was surprised by another one of God’s wonders. (Have you ever noticed how God times things in such a way that we know He is thinking of us?)

One of my desires while on this trip was to buy fresh produce from a farm stand, rather than the grocery store. Wonder of wonders, the Farmer’s Market was open right across the bridge from where Les was touring the submarine. I walked over. I browsed each booth, and then bought some fresh peaches, cherries and raspberries, as well as corn on the cob, a bunch of carrots and string beans. God knew where we would be on our itinerary, which by the way was one day behind. So here we were in Manitowoc on a Tuesday instead of a Monday, and the market is only open on Tuesdays and Saturdays.

That evening, we grilled chicken, zucchini, summer squash and peaches on the grill with a wonderful view of the lake and the Manitowoc lighthouse. Another wonder-filled day with the God of the universe directing our way!

 

Tuesday's Pic

I would love to hear your responses to this photo. I took it while we were on Lake Michigan this summer.

More: A Greater Quantity, Number or Amount

Monday Musings

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Ephesians 3:19-20 NIV


Last week, I was sitting in my chair staring into space. I must admit, I was having a silent pity party. Lamenting over disappointments and discouragements, basically despairing because I didn’t think God was listening or answering or even noticing how things have been going here on earth lately. I was entertaining hopelessness. Just at that moment, I looked up at the wall across the room. On this wall is a plaque with words.

About halfway down the list of exhortations on the wall hanging, one phrase states: “Hope more.”

 

 

 I laughed nervously to myself, and then confessed to God that I really haven’t been hoping much at all. My faith falters, my life languishes and I am plain weary of waiting for something new or good to happen.

After that little tirade, the phone rang and it was my mom with some hopeful ideas for a trying situation. The directive to hope more, bubbled up inside. Maybe God was listening after all. Maybe He does really care. And what He really cares about more than my happiness or the right answer is that I know and believe and trust His love.

May this day bring you a greater awareness of God’s hope and more grace than you can imagine.

 

 

Thrilling Guest Thursday: Jill Carattini

This week I am introducing you to a writer that I only know through her postings on A Slice of Infinity, which is part of the Ravi Zacharias International Ministry. I subscribe to the daily blogs that are generated by his ministry. Jill Carattini is a regular contributor. She links literature and life experiences to spiritual lessons. No wonder I enjoy her posts. This week my friend Marijo, who also enjoys A Slice of Infinity, encouraged me to read this post.

Click on In the Room to read this inspiring story that reminds us that God often surprises us with His presence.

Last night I attended a worship service, and we sang a song unfamiliar to me. The opening lyrics echoed what I had read in this post: "We wait for You. We wait for You. We wait for You to walk in the room." Doesn't your heart race when you are waiting for someone special to arrive? That's how I felt last night waiting, looking around the sanctuary, longing for Jesus to enter the room. He did enter by the invisible presence of His Spirit. But oh, how I long for the day when he arrives in the clouds. When we all will see him in all His glory! Come, Lord Jesus, Come! I want to live expecting Jesus to arrive at any moment. I revel in the fact that I can experience His presence now, and I long for the day when this life is over and a whole NEW life begins with Jesus forever!

The title of the worship song is We Wait for You (Shekinah Glory Come)

Rest: Peace of Mind or Spirit

This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says:

"In repentance and rest is your salvation,
in quietness and trust is your strength,
but you would have none of it."

Isaiah 30:15 NIV

 

North Point Marina

The Intuition Diaries

The first day of our trip a small craft advisory kept us at rest. We weren’t able to leave the marina as the waves were too high for safe travel. The next day we embarked on the first day of boating, we were well rested after a day of eating, napping and exploring the North Point Marina grounds. On our day of rest, we celebrated Les’ birthday. I made Les dinner and I told him that I had a surprise…I was going to take him on a trip around Lake Michigan. He laughed.

For his birthday dessert, I made brownie waffles with strawberries on top.

We left the marina early Monday morning to cruise the 67 miles to our next port. While we puttered along the Wisconsin coast of the lake, I was thinking.

 I often ask Les what he is thinking and he will reply, “Nothing.”

I find this difficult to believe because my mind never seems to rest. I noticed while I was busy thinking that I either recall the past or project into the future. One minute I am thinking about all the fun times we had on previous vacations, and then the next thing I know,  I am wondering what’s for lunch or where will be headed the next day.

I asked Les about his ability to think about nothing. He admitted that he enjoys the present. He explores the scenery around him. He pays attention to the charts and the direction the boat is headed. He lives in the moment. I admire him. I can do this occasionally, but it truly takes discipline for me to rest and remain in the moment.

The trip today started out calm, and about halfway through our trip the waves started getting choppy. This caused the boat to bounce, which caused me to get a bit uneasy and queasy. I tried everything to enjoy the moment, including taking a nap.

 After my nap, Les asked if I wanted to drive and I declined. About an hour away from our destination, I decided I did want to drive and Les gave the helm over to me.

I was amazed at how I went from restlessness to restful once I had something to concentrate on. Rest takes many forms. It can be sleep, which actually renews our bodies. It may be just letting your mind enjoy the scenery around you. For me I need something to help me rest, so I rested my mind on the task at hand.

Once we got to Port Washington, Wisconsin, I was feeling relaxed. I was at rest, free from anxiety. We continued our rest by wandering around the town, eating a late lunch at Beanies (best fajitas ever!). We ended our day by riding our bikes on a local trail and eating ice cream for dinner.



 

 

Goodness

Tuesday's Pics

 

Many are asking, “Who can show us any good?”
Let the light of your face shine upon us, O Lord.

Psalm 4:6

 

 

When was the last time you saw

the goodness of the LORD

in the land of the living?

(See Psalm 27:13)



 

Running the Race

Monday Musings

However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me-the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.

Acts 20:24 NIV

Earlier this summer I made a decision. I agreed to do a biathlon. I completed a 5K run on my birthday weekend, so my next  step was to do a 5 mile run/22 mile bike race, right? A pretty big jump, but I was up to the challenge. Of course, now as September 16^th draws nearer, I’m not so confident.

With the race being a couple weekends away, I determined that this week, I would continue my training. That means I should be running at least every other day, as well as squeeze in some bike time. Alrighty then, here I go.

Last night I set the alarm for 6:00am, rolled out of bed by 6:15am and was out the door running by 6:30am. It was a good run and as often happens while I run; thoughts churn through my idea generating mind. I mulled over familiar Scriptures, tried to pick up a strain of a praise song. These thoughts are sort of like stream of consciousness prayer.

At one point, I was remembering a phrase from a worship song (I think) that went something like this: “God is God, and I am not.” Good reminder. I started smiling inside. Then this little rift of rhyming phrases ran through my mind as praise to God: “You sustain me, maintain me, retain me and explain me.” I almost giggled out loud. God explains me. That’s a good one. I repeated the phrase to myself, so as to remember it when I came home. These words give me something to chew on and look up definitions for more revelation later.

As I directed my steps around the block one last time, I passed a women walking. On the back of her shirt there was a cross logo and the words “Running the Race,” just the encouragement I needed to power up the last hill towards home and a cool down walk.

 

All praise to the One who sustains, maintains, retains and explains us. Thanks be to God!

 

 

 

 

5 Fives Friday

 

The years of our life are seventy,

or even by reason of strength eighty;
yet their span is but toil and trouble;
they are soon gone, and we fly away.

Who considers the power of your anger,
and your wrath according to the fear of you?

 

So teach us to number our days
that we may get a heart of wisdom.

Return, O Lord! How long?
Have pity on your servants!
Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love,
that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.

(Psalm 90:10-14 ESV)

Five is not a magical number. It is mentioned in Scripture mostly to mark the amount or age of someone...like sixty-five. For some reason we are fascinated by numbers. People will say certain numbers have biblical significance, and they are correct because certain numbers are repetitive in the history of Israel and even into the New Testament. Twelve tribes, twelve disciples, you get the idea.

But five is not like that. It's an odd number. However, I like the sound of "5 Fives Friday" and I do have a practical point to my rambling if you can bear with me.

Last week, I was running at a local park, and I was getting tired of running, so I started a cadence count in my head: "1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4...etc." That motivational counting soon became boring, so I added a 5. "1-2-3-4-

5... POW!

I got a little surge of power, so I kept counting to five and I kept running and I finished my workout. Cool!

While counting my thoughts lighted onto another idea for getting my to-do list done. Why not list 5 Fives each day and see how much I accomplish on the list? Then I trimmed my goal back to why not just do it once a week and work my way up to 5 days a week. So I have been listing my 5 Fives at least once a week now for the past week. And it works. One time I even listed a sixth 5.

So here's the challenge: Make a List a of 5 Fives and Do Them! Feel free to comment on this post to let us know how it goes.

Here's my list for today:

1. Read 5 pages in the Bible.
2. Drink 5 glasses of water.
3. Take 5 minutes to unload the dishwasher.
4. List 5 gratitudes.
5. Count to 5 before I answer a question. (Remember counting engages the rational side of our brains!)

High five! See you next week.

Thrilling Guest Thursday: Kelly Greer

On Thursdays, I would like to share encouragement from fellow bloggers and writers. Today, I'd like to introduce you to my friend and fellow blogger, Kelly Greer, aka, Plays with Purpose.

Please click on the photo or the imbedded link and read a wonderful story of God's unexpected provision in her post titled: God, Help Me to Give You a Wide Berth!

Her blog is called Ain't No Mountain Too High.

Routine: The Travelled Way

From the rising of the sun unto the going down of the same

the Lord's name is to be praised.

Psalm 113:3 KJV

The Intuition Diaries

Routines were to be left behind, while we vacationed on Lake Michigan. Or so we thought.  We found out at the beginning of our trip that routines are important whether we were on vacation or not. Just like the rising and setting of the sun, routines have their purposes. Every time we take the boat out, we follow a checklist. Read more if you want to hear how we neglected a crucial routine, but were graced with GRACE!

 

At the beginning of July, we drove away from St. Louis, towing our boat, the Intuition. We arrived late afternoon to our destination just north of Chicago on the western shore of the lake. We checked in with the marina and proceeded to get the boat ready for our adventure of following a clockwise circuit around the shores of Lake Michigan.

We were out of our normal routine. Les was thinking about getting the extra kicker motor on the back of the boat. (This motor is our backup if the main engine fails.) I was thinking about how to arrange the extra food and other items inside the boat, so we wouldn’t be tripping over stuff for the next few weeks. It took about an hour to get everything transferred to the boat, so we were pleased with our efficiency.

Next stop—back the boat down the ramp and find our boat slip. We have a checklist for this procedure, but for some reason neither one of us pulled it out. Familiarity and past successes at this mundane part of boating became an embarrassing oversight.

Before heading out to sea, it is prudent to make sure the engine fires up and everything is working properly. So we took our usual steps (sort of) and tried the engine. NOTHING! Was the battery dead? Why is the bilge pump running? Did the fridge drain the battery on the road trip here? We were baffled.

We went back to the bilge pump question. Why was it running? Its purpose is to bail water from the cockpit of the boat or any water that is in the bottom of the boat. Under my breath, I was praying for wisdom. We opened the floor hatch and noted  water in the bottom of the boat, which the pump was dutifully offloading. All of a sudden, we remembered…the plug…did anyone put the plug in before we entered the water!? Nope, we totally skipped that part of the checklist. We scrambled and pulled the boat back on the trailer, let the water drain. Then promptly put the plug in.

The grace part: In our rush to get to our destination (the slip at the marina); I had knocked the throttle out of neutral. The engine only starts in neutral. The checklist states: “Check to make sure the throttle is in neutral position before starting the engine.” If the engine had started, we would have had a more serious problem on our hands, like how to get a sinking boat out of the harbor.

After figuring out the plug problem, we consulted the checklist, which solved the engine failure. I put the boat back into neutral, and the engine fired up immediately. What did we learn? We learned to trust the routine and always look at the checklist. After our humiliation subsided, we laughed at ourselves and thanked God for watching out for us in our foolishness.

Sunday Morning Sunrise

North Point Marina, Winthrop Harbor, IL 8.10.2012

 

 

Teeter-Totter

Tuesday's Pic

Do you lean towards a balanced life or a rhythmic life?

Turning Point: A Point at Which a Significant Change Occurs

Monday Musings

This is what the Lord says—
your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel:
“I am the Lord your God,
who teaches you what is best for you,
who directs you in the way you should go.

(Isaiah 48:17)

Significant change can occur instantly or over time. I have been travelling to this particular turning point over the past twenty-four years. I remember the day the journey started, July 29, 1988, the day Kurtis John Rohlf arrived into our lives. Our first baby, and a couple years later another boy joined us, Bradley Keith Rohlf. Each arrival changed our lives, bringing joy and heartache and fears and hopes. Today they are young men, sharing an apartment and seeking their destinies.

Their departure finds hubby and me alone, with time and space and new challenges and dreams awaiting us. Last year, I completed my Bachelor of Arts in English. My turning point has arrived. I am moving towards a new season of pursuing a road I left behind when I chose to have a family. The road up to this point has prepared me for the next part of the journey.

Trust has been the foundation of this journey. Trust in a Savior, called Jesus-Emmanuel-God-with-us, the one who never leaves or forsakes me. My constant companion at each turn, this God-Man communicates unfailing love to me daily. And not only to me, but He loves every person in this whole wide world.

I got a glimpse of Jesus loving my nephew, Peter, recently. We were at our local water park. One of the highlights of the park is the lazy river, so our first visit there this summer, we gathered my nieces and nephews and a few tubes to float away our cares. The three younger ones each fell off their tubes, and Peter refused to return to the lazy river the rest of the summer. Peter is almost seven. He has a twin brother, an older sister (11) and a younger sister (5). They moved to our neighborhood recently, bringing much joy to us.

Just before school started, we decided to have another family outing at the water park. Everyone else wanted to go in the lazy river. Peter was reluctant to go. While the others lazed around the river, I decided to coax him one last time to try it again. They have double tubes, so I reassured him that I would go with him. He finally agreed, when I said he could bring his goggles. Just before we stepped down the step and into the tube, Peter stopped in his tracks. He placed his hands together and stated simply: “I’m going to pray.” He asked God to not let him fall out of his tube. I smiled and hoisted him on the tube. His anxiety returned, and he took a breath counting to ten out loud. I settled into the tube next to him, and pushed us off into the lazy river. Peter took another breath counting to ten again. (I was pleased that he was counting because I taught him this technique that I learned from a friend. She told me that counting to ten is not just a technique to calm down, but the task actually engages our rational side of the brain, thus overriding our emotional responses. Try it, and see how it works.)

We were on the lazy river, Peter resting calmly on his side of the tube with his arms propped behind his head; classic relaxed pose. It was a mere few minutes after his prayer and counting exercise that he remarked “I trust God with my whole life.” What joy! This confession birthed out of his rational mind brought me renewed hope. It is a rational choice to trust God! And the emotions follow—peace, hope and joy!

I will mark that afternoon as a turning point for Peter and me the rest of my whole life! By the way, Peter didn’t fall into the lazy river that day. He actually got the courage to hold on to the sides of the tube and dunk his goggled face under the water. J

Coming Soon

And Joshua commanded the officers of the people, “Pass through the midst of the camp and command the people, ‘Prepare your provisions, for within three days you are to pass over this Jordan to go in to take possession of the land

that the Lord your God is giving you to possess.’”

(Joshua 1:10-11 ESV)

Life is eventful! Full of events that keep us occupied and often running out of time for the things we really desire to accomplish. Can it be August already? I stood at the corner today watching my sister send her kids off on the school bus. Her youngest entered kindergarten. Where have the years gone?

Our boys flew the coop in January to rent their own apartment. Summer has been hot, hot, hot in St. Louis. My husband and I escaped for a few weeks to celebrate our new season of life. While out on Lake Michigan, we relaxed. And I renewed my passion for art, nature, writing and all things creative. As the school year begins, I don't have any children at home to mark the transition. I am not taking any classes myself. But I want to take this time to start anew.

I redesigned the background on my blog, removed some clutter and refreshed the photos. I am getting ready to roll out some daily postings on August 20th.

Monday Musings

Tuesday's Pic or Book Review

Wednesday Word of the Day

Thrilling Guest Thursdays

5 Fives Friday

To find out more about this excitingTurning Point at Nourishment for the Soul, come back on Monday!



Silence: Absence of Mention

He who is the faithful witness to all these things says, "Yes, I am coming soon!" Amen! Come, Lord Jesus! (Revelation 22:20 NLT)

“Oh, in the time of silence when man remains alone, abandoned when he does not hear thy voice, it seems to him doubtless that the separation must last forever…

Bless then this silence as thy word to man; grant that he never forgets that thou speakest also when thou art silent; give him this consolation if he waits on thee, that thou art silent through love and that thou speakest through love, so that in thy silence as in thy word thou art still the same Father and that it is still the same paternal love that thou guidest by thy voice and that thou does instruct by the silence.” (Soren Kierkegaard)

Relent, O LORD! How long will it be?

Have compassion on your servants.
Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.
Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
for as many years as we have seen trouble.
(Psalm 90:13-15 NIV)

  

Silence is so deafening. How can it be that I strive to quiet myself and yet I cannot hear anything? I long for times of contemplation so I can hear from God, but lately the silence even outweighs my questions and longings, giving way to this awkwardness with God. What should I pray for now? I feel so lost and confused, almost as if this silence is full of invisible sounds drowning out the word I long to hear.

I turn to words. Yet something is missing. The old passion escapes me. I plow through the entries of the dictionary and no word seems to fit or light up my eyes and thrill my heart like it used to. It feels like something is missing. What am I looking for? I turn to Scriptures and read Psalm 119 for several days in a row, hoping for some spark of recognition. Of some deep yearning rekindled. Bits and scraps, but nothing satisfies my soul. My taste buds seem deadened.

 

Silence fills the void. I page through a collection of prayers and puzzle over this cumbersome reasoning from Kierkegaard about the silence of God having the same value and meaning as his words. Maybe I just need to sit in silence. Absorb. Wait. Breathe. Remember. Embrace the Unfailing Love.

I keep wondering if God forgot to mention that sometimes life has no answers. What it is that He is accomplishing right now? Have I not been paying close enough attention? I am troubled by this time, where everything around me seems to be falling apart, instead of being built up and restored like He promised.

To trust during His seeming absence, I must wait in silence upon the LORD.

Hope: To Expect with Confidence

Shattered Hope. Broken down ideas about life. What will restore my hope?

An Empty Tomb!

And the Empty Cross becomes an emblem for more HOPE!

I have been silent these past forty days. Not on purpose. Life just took over. I was observing Lent. I didn't plan to fast from blogging, but it happened. I did give something up. I chose to "Be not anxious." My hope in giving up anxious thoughts was to replace them with peaceful ones. The challenging thing about giving something up and asking God to replace it with something else is that you have to practice.

Often over the past forty days, I was bombarded with anxiety producing situations. How did I do? Sometimes I yielded my anxious attitude to God's peace, and other times I failed.

It has been a journey. And today I woke up before the sun to capture some moments on my camera. I didn't see the sun rise, but I did see the moon reflecting the sun.



Sara Groves sings a song about how the moon reflects the sun on her album, Add to the Beauty. The song is called You are the Sun. Her lyrics give me restored hope, not in my ability to do anything, but the hope that as God's love shines on me it will be reflected in my life.

You are the sun shining down on everyone
Light of the world giving light to everything I see
Beauty so brilliant I can hardly take it in
And everywhere you are is warmth and light

And I am the moon with no light of my own
Still you have made me to shine
And as I glow in this cold dark night
I know I can't be a light unless I turn my face to you

(Lyrics from You are the Sun by Sara Groves)