Would your wealth
or even all your mighty efforts
sustain you so you would not be in distress?
Job 36:19 NIV
Your frustration with everything, including yourself, makes it possible to turn in deeper dependence [upon God]. Your weariness requires the strength of supernatural love to continue serving [God]. Your haunting sense of futility shuts you up to a kind of endurance that can be sustained only with hope in [Jesus’] return.
God’s Love Letters to You, Dr. Larry Crabb
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.
Psalm 51:12 NIV
How can it be November already? I am in the last weeks of my final semester at UM-St. Louis, looking ahead to the freedom from the pressure of meeting deadlines. Amazingly, I feel fairly calm. God has sustained me thus far, what will keep Him from continuing to do so? I will rest in His faithfulness.
Even though I am not facing a major trial, I find myself facing common frustrations of daily living. Like, when will my house ever be clutter free? I dread the weariness of waiting for the next season. And often, I am taunted by the futility of organizing and reorganizing my life, my stuff and my schedule. The mundane seems harder to manage than the unknown future.
Lately God has been pressing my heart about a tendency to seek blessings instead of His presence. He confronts me about my practice of thanking Him for things, rather than expressing a deep gratitude for forgiveness and grace. He reminds me that joy comes from experiencing His salvation, more than from the comfortable pleasures of this life.
These human experiences of frustration, weariness and futility come upon us like labor pains. We want to them to cease, but if they do, we will not be brought to maturity. Instead, we need to breathe through the pain in order to experience joy of relying on God’s strength. Remember, weeping lasts for the night, but joy comes in the morning! How I long for the morning when Jesus shall return and take us from this weary world. Until then, I will depend on His sustenance.
Whether I am struggling, suffering or sliding through life with ease, I need God to sustain me. Only His love can keep me from despair. Hope pours into me through the Holy Spirit. His word nourishes me. Will I give up my own striving, and rest in His presence?