Where I Have Been

O LORD, you have examined my heart

and know everything about me.

You know when I sit down or stand up.

You know my every thought when far away.

You chart the path ahead of me and

tell me where to stop and rest.

Every moment you know where I am.

Psalm 139:1-3 NLT

Ever since Spring arrived, I have been drawn to the outdoors, and my pen and journal, rather than sitting in the "green" room typing my ramblings to the unseen audience of this blog. I usually muse here and in my journal mostly for myself, but let's be honest in our heart of hearts writers want to be read. So let me know if you're reading :)

My favorite spot to sit once the winter weather breaks is our front porch. I can't boast a majestic view, I live in the suburbs. My view includes the two or three houses across the street, and since we are on a corner lot, I also can look over at my dear friend and neighbor's home. We have lived next door to each other for nearly seventeen years now. Have we really lived in this one place for so long already? Will our oldest son be twenty-one in a couple weeks? And the youngest off to new ventures at the local community college?

So where have I been since April 30th? I have been avoiding the reality that my kids are grown up. That the world is going through hard economic times, including family and close friends. Hiding in the city and getting lost in the country, wandering the shore of the gulf of Mexico in Florida. Immersing myself in the creativity of a summer drama program at our church. Sipping coffee on quiet Mondays on my front porch, and entertaining angels who come for some respite. Enjoying the different pace, not necessarily slower, but good and fulfilling.

I love my life, and it is a great comfort to know that God has known where I have been every moment this summer. He has sought me out in the late night laughter of girlfriends, as well as the tear stained confessions of our heart aches and concerns. Through unexpected new friends in both of our sons' lives and our own. Rekindling and keeping up with the tried and true friends. Being in my first parade on a rainy day on the 4th of July, and asking God to hold back the rain for the parade, so we could represent moms who pray and hold out the hope of connecting with God. He answered with a resounding yes! Hallelujah!

Where will I be headed? God knows! And for that I am ever grateful.