Stuck

He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
He set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
(Psalm 40:2 NIV)

This is a reflection I wrote the other day in response to the question:

“How am I choosing to be stuck?”

I am focusing on my weaknesses- trying to overcome them, instead of capitalizing on my strengths. I choose to believe lies. I choose to procrastinate. I give into fears and insecurities. I want instant change instead of accepting that life is one choice after another. It is very freeing in a way to realize that my “stuckness” is a choice. I feel stuck in my investments of time. I feel stuck as a parent. I am stuck in my ways- I chafe for change and then complain when change occurs. I am stuck in discontent.

I once again am stuck in the future- wanting what comes next more than embracing now. Being stuck in the future is hazardous to my mental and emotional health. I long for future joys to escape present pain. But joy comes through mourning. I have been sealing myself off from truly mourning the changes in my life. I am tossed about by emotions related to the natural process of children growing up and moving on in their own lives.

Another hard part of my life right now is standing by watching others who are stuck, too. I can’t make them choose to move forward, I have to trust God to intervene. I can ask God to capitalize on each of our strengths and to buttress our weaknesses. I need God to direct my investments, and to help me focus on a couple of my strengths. I get bogged down because I’m not sure which direction to take. I spend a lot of mental time “trying” to decide, which bogs me deeper into the muck and mire of my indecision.