Celebrate: To Observe a Notable Occasion with Festivities

“They will celebrate your abundant goodness

and joyfully sing of your righteousness.”

(Psalm 145:7 NIV)

Come with
Eternal Hallelujahs!
Lauding
El-Shaddai!
Bring loud
Rejoicing
And
Tambourine!
Enter in!

One way to welcome Christmas is to celebrate. As the years go by, and as our family has grown up, our celebrations have transformed. As a young wife and mother, I wanted traditions to observe that would be just ours. Advent piqued my interest as it was a new tradition for me.

I remember making my first Advent wreath out of greenery, votive candles arranged in a wreath form and a single candlestick for the white Christ candle. My husband and I lit the candles each Sunday and read from Christ in Christmas: A Family Advent Celebration. Later when the boys were big enough they would fight over who got to blow out the candles. We did the crafts and activities that went along with the readings.

A couple years ago, each one of us took a Sunday sharing a Scripture and devotional thought. The last year or two it has been harder to gather together. And just when I think that some traditions have been outgrown, I find out that my twenty-one year old son still wants a chocolate Advent calendar to count the days until Christmas.

In a moment of feeling “better” from my cold, I ran around town this afternoon to find him one. But they were sold out. Not to be discouraged, I came up with an alternative. I found chocolate foil wrapped ornaments. I decided to pull out our little tabletop tree and decorated it with the candy. I had another little tree, which I decorated for our twenty-three old, so he won’t feel left out.

I have a sweet little arrangement on the buffet. It’s starting to feel a little more like Christmas around here. I also dusted off the Christmas music, which is playing in the background even now. It’s time to celebrate! Let the festivities begin!

Amplify: Increase the Volume Of

“He will bring us goodness and light. . .”

 from Do You Hear What I Hear?

(Felix Bernard and Richard B. Smith)

“And let them make Me a sanctuary, that I may dwell among them.” (Exodus 25:8 NKJV)

“And the Word (Christ) became flesh (human, incarnate) and tabernacled (fixed His tent of flesh, lived awhile) among us; and we [actually] saw His glory (His honor, His majesty), such glory as an only begotten son receives from his father, full of grace (favor, loving-kindness) and truth.” (John 1:14 AMP)

It is the third day into the Advent season and I haven’t dug out my Christmas music yet. What is wrong with me? I am taking a little longer this year to warm up to my usual Christmas traditions. I am between two worlds—finishing my degree and welcoming Christmas.

My student status soon comes to an end. I am thankful. It was a lifelong dream to go to college, and even though I waited until my forties, it has been a great experience. Yet I am ready to move on to a new season. The thing with going to school is that you have to squeeze your regular life in around the academic schedule. Amazingly every year Christmas still gets celebrated, and I carve out moments of reflection between reading text and writing papers.

As this season ends, my prayer is that God would amplify Himself and His word in my life. I need to hear from Him. I want to see His goodness in the land of the living. I have seen Him as a student, but now I want to experience a fresh measure of what He has in store. I am expectant.

Today in my Advent journey, the book of the Bible highlighted in the devotion was Exodus. The subtitle gave this invitation: Consider The Lengths I Go To, Just to Be With You. Isn’t this invitation the essence of Christmas? Let’s consider the length, breadth, height and width of His love together this year.

Grouse: Complain; Grumble

“An inward grouse is a devastating thing.” Amy Carmichael

Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise:

be thankful unto him, and bless his name.

For the Lord is good; his mercy is everlasting;

and his truth endureth to all generations.

Psalm 100:4-5 KJV

Thanksgiving comes but once a year, yet I desire to cultivate a thankful heart the whole year through. It’s not easy. I came down with a whopper of a cold over Thanksgiving break. My tendency is to whine and moan between the fits of coughing. I’ve heard somewhere that it helps to thank God for the bad, as well as the good. But I heard even better advice today. Thank God for his goodness and grace.

This evening I watched The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. The transformation of the Grinch’s heart speaks to me of the transforming grace of Christ. The episode opens with the townspeople singing: "Welcome Christmas"

To welcome Christmas. . . that is what I’d like to do over the next few weeks. Will you join me?

It takes conscious effort to move from grousing to rejoicing. I know this from personal experience. Even this morning, I almost gave in to wallowing in self-pity. “Woe is me, I have a cold.” My plight is not unusual; probably the majority of us will have a cold this winter, as it is called the “common” cold.

Part of my complaint was common; I don’t have time to be sick. I got things to do: cleaning, studying, buying, decorating and apparently now—resting. I chafe against rest. If had pushed myself today, I wouldn’t have had time to reflect on the devastating effects of grumbling. I would have missed out on practicing the art of giving thanks on all occasions. So maybe I didn’t thank God for my cold, but I did thank Him for his goodness in reminding me that rest is an important part of life.

Usually I pick a devotional book that has daily readings for the Advent season. This year I picked up a book, I read earlier this year. It’s called God’s Love Letters to You: A 40-Day Devotional Experience written by Dr. Larry Crabb. Each day focuses on a different book in the Bible. Today was Genesis—a very good place to start—the beginning. Written from the first person perspective of God, the subtitle for today’s reading warms my heart: I Have a Plan: Trust Me. The devotion raises the question of why doesn’t God immediately relieve our pain. It didn’t answer the question, but gave me space to contemplate it. The last sentence offers food for thought: “You must live now in the tension between anguish and hope.” Again, I found no direct answer, but something to mull over. How can I live in this tension? Will I trust God’s plan?

My expectation after Thanksgiving was to gear up for the end of the semester at the highest speed possible, but my health has slowed me down. After a day of resting in God’s presence, reading books and ruminating on God’s words— I give thanks for His grace for this day.

I am ready to welcome Christmas at a pace that embraces the goodness of God.

Coming Soon!

Kel Rohlf loves WORDS! In this little devotional book, she invites you to “see” God through definitions, Scriptures and everyday experiences. She points out ways to notice God more. So grab your Bible and a dictionary, and relish the adventure of Defining Moments Overflowing with Living Words.

Occasion: A Favorable Opportunity

“Taste and see that the LORD is good.

Oh, the joys of those who trust in him!”

                           Psalm 34:8 NLT

photo by Kel Rohlf

“Don’t save anything for a special occasion.
Every day you’re alive is a special occasion.” (Unknown)

“If it’s worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now.” (Ann Wells)

What is it about keeping things for a special occasion? I have this beautiful museum quality journal that a dear friend bestowed upon me. It remains on my shelf. One of these days, I will put my most beautiful thoughts in there, right? Fine china collects dust in the buffet. Craft projects beckon to be finished. And I used to make homemade bread. Today on my drive home, I wondered why I’m waiting for a special time or uninterrupted life to do things that I enjoy.

I stopped by the grocery store for my weekly groceries and made sure to pick up some yeast. When I got home, after unloading the food, I searched the internet for a Pumpkin Yeast Bread recipe. Gathering the ingredients, pulling out my Kitchen aid mixer and preparing the dough took little time. While I puttered around the house the dough doubled in size in its bowl. I divided the dough into a loaf and twelve rolls to rise again. The process of waiting really didn’t hinder me from doing my usual meandering around the house checking email, working on a craft project and just relaxing. By dinner time the aroma of bread, ginger, pumpkin and cloves filled the house. I slathered butter on the tops of the rolls and bread. Then I munched on a roll as soon as it was cool enough to pop into my mouth. Mmm…so good!

Another thought that occurred to me this afternoon had to do with spending time in God’s presence through His word. Why do I keep looking for a particular Bible study? I keep searching for the perfect “read the Bible in a year” plan, but in my quest I neglect to read it at all. I read devotional books, snatching bites of the Word. Yet I long for a full course meal. My Bible intake comes in spurts or on special occasions like Sunday morning at church. I want more. I don’t want to save God’s word for certain occasions like celebrations and Bible studies. His word is my daily bread.

I am not sure how I will accomplish it, but I want to wake up tomorrow, grab my Bible along with my cereal bowl in order to savor God in the moment.

"For He says, "In the time of my favor I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you." I tell you, now is the time of God's favor , now is the day of salvation."

                                                             2 Corinthians 6:2 NIV

Sustain: To Give Support or Relief To

Would your wealth

or even all your mighty efforts

sustain you so you would not be in distress?     

Job 36:19 NIV

Your frustration with everything, including yourself, makes it possible to turn in deeper dependence [upon God]. Your weariness requires the strength of supernatural love to continue serving [God]. Your haunting sense of futility shuts you up to a kind of endurance that can be sustained only with hope in [Jesus’] return.             

God’s Love Letters to You, Dr. Larry Crabb

Restore to me the joy of your salvation

and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.   

Psalm 51:12 NIV

How can it be November already? I am in the last weeks of my final semester at UM-St. Louis, looking ahead to the freedom from the pressure of meeting deadlines. Amazingly, I feel fairly calm. God has sustained me thus far, what will keep Him from continuing to do so? I will rest in His faithfulness.

Even though I am not facing a major trial, I find myself facing common frustrations of daily living. Like, when will my house ever be clutter free? I dread the weariness of waiting for the next season. And often, I am taunted by the futility of organizing and reorganizing my life, my stuff and my schedule. The mundane seems harder to manage than the unknown future.

Lately God has been pressing my heart about a tendency to seek blessings instead of His presence. He confronts me about my practice of thanking Him for things, rather than expressing a deep gratitude for forgiveness and grace. He reminds me that joy comes from experiencing His salvation, more than from the comfortable pleasures of this life.

These human experiences of frustration, weariness and futility come upon us like labor pains. We want to them to cease, but if they do, we will not be brought to maturity. Instead, we need to breathe through the pain in order to experience joy of relying on God’s strength. Remember, weeping lasts for the night, but joy comes in the morning! How I long for the morning when Jesus shall return and take us from this weary world. Until then, I will depend on His sustenance.

Whether I am struggling, suffering or sliding through life with ease, I need God to sustain me. Only His love can keep me from despair. Hope pours into me through the Holy Spirit. His word nourishes me. Will I give up my own striving, and rest in His presence?

Capacious: Able to Contain Much; Roomy

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times,

having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

2 Corinthians 9:8 NIV

“Unbelief fixes its gaze on men, and things, and likelihoods and possibilities and circumstances. Faith will not concern herself with these; she refuses to spend her time and waste her strength in considering them. Her eye is on her Lord; and she is persuaded; that He is well able to supply all her need, and to carry her through all difficulties and straits.” (F.B. Meyer, The Shepherd Psalm)

One day I was journaling to God about how incapable I felt, especially regarding the work load this semester. In His gentle way, He reminded me that He was able and capable. While I was looking up the word capable in my handy dictionary, I came upon the adjective: capacious. Struck by the immensity of this one word’s meaning, I found a new way to describe God. This word was big enough to encompass all of God’s character.

Now that I know this word, I have a new lease on life. When I start feeling inadequate, because really I am; I say “God, You are Capacious!” I smile to myself because the word feels like a made up word. But it’s not. It sounds like capable and spacious merged together. And then I laugh because God is spacious; there’s so much room in His love. And God is capable of accomplishing so much more than I ever could imagine.

I am experiencing His capacious love, grace and strength on a daily basis. I am often juggling homework, housework and heart work. I recognize my limitations. But I rejoice that God can contain so much more than I can. Sometimes I believe He purposely places us in a situation, where we have to rely on his capacious nature. Won’t you enter into His presence, and just see how roomy God really is? He’s waiting for you and for me.

Idolize: To Love or Admire to Excess

Therefore, my dearly beloved, shun (keep clear away from, avoid by flight if need be) any sort of idolatry (of loving or venerating anything more than God).            1 Corinthians 10:14 AMP

“My future husband was becoming to me my whole world; and more than the world: almost my hope of heaven. He stood between me and every thought of religion, as an eclipse intervenes between man and the broad sun. I could not, in those days, see God for his creature: of whom I had made an idol.”

(Jane speaking of Mr. Rochester in Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte)

“. . . I was very sad for Hindley’s sake; he had room in his heart only for two idols—his wife and himself: he doted on both, and adored one, and I couldn’t conceive how he would bear the loss.”

(Ellen Dean speaking of Hindley in Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte)



Idolatry is a tough topic. It is not the first sin I tend to confess, when I sense my spiritual life is suffering. It’s easy enough to admit pride or telling a lie, but I do not want to be identified as an idolater. And it is even dangerous to mention this because some may argue with me that a true follower of Christ cannot be an idolater. However, I am not talking about a lifestyle of idolatry. I am referring to a tendency of mine to place more affection on other people, other things and even on my own need for comfort and contentment than on God.

In my literary “travels” this semester, I keep coming across narratives that point out the downfall of idolatry is a person’s life. Jane Eyre admits that her love for Mr. Rochester has consumed her to the point she neglects God. Hindley, one character in Wuthering Heights, so idolizes his wife that after her death, he neglects his son, his estate and his own well-being by choosing a life of dissipation. Wuthering Heights is a case study for the demise of those who idolize others. Heathcliff resents everyone because he can’t have his idol. Edgar won’t confront Catherine, after she becomes his wife, which I believe is a direct result of his fear of offending the woman he idolizes. Those are just the major examples of idolatry in the novel. In some of my other readings, people become so consumed with the beauty of another character that they miss out on a healthy relationship with the person.

I understand their dilemma—the physical presence of perceived perfection in another person eases my ache for something that will completely satisfy. From the beginning God commanded us not to partake in idolatry. It is interesting that one of the Hebrew words for idol can mean “worthless” (Mounce). Anything that takes our affection from God is worthless. Even if it seems that the person, thing or achievement gives us a fleeting sense of value, in the end it will disappoint. God is the only one who keeps his promise to always satisfy.

Early in our marriage I did idolize my husband, and when we were separated for seven months due to his military service, I was devastated. I literally couldn’t function. My mom came to live with me to help me with our son, and I sought counsel and support from other believers. It was in Les' absence that I realized that I had placed my hope in a man, rather than in God. Let me say something else here, the person we idolize is under immense pressure to live up to our expectations. Putting them on a pedestal sets them up for a fall, because they are incapable of loving us exactly like God.

Idolatry is subtle, and can manifest itself in many forms. It occurred to me the other day that sometimes my concern for others can become idolatrous, especially when I think I can offer them the kind of help only God can. I am neither all-powerful, nor ever-present, and it is foolish for me to act like I can offer that kind of relationship to another person. Yet I find myself doing this over and over again, until God humbles me, and shows me that I have become actually quite arrogant in thinking that I can “fix” someone else. And even more insidiously, I believe they need my help, and I’m the only one who can offer it. This is painful to admit, but a relief when God gently rebukes me, and reminds me of my limits.

Lest this become a depressing topic, may I invite you to flee idolatry in order to pursue God. He, like the father waiting for his prodigal son, waits each day for us to realize our blunder and to run home to Him.

I'll leave you with a quote speaking of our essential need for God in our lives: “All eternity is held in one moment in Your presence, and all of time is empty apart from Your fellowship.” (Frances J. Roberts)

Direct (Adj.): Frank; Straight-Forward

“Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my thoughts.

Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.”
                                                         Psalm 139:23-24 NLT

“Restate to yourself what the purpose of your life is. The destined end of man is not happiness, nor health, but holiness.”                        
                                      Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest


As each new season approaches, I find myself musing about the direction of my life. Am I headed in the right direction? Do I need to make any adjustments? I ask God to direct my paths, as he promises he will in the Psalms and Proverbs. One of my objectives in seeking direction contains an element of needing the definition of what my life could look like if I were in line with God’s will.

One place I look for definitions is in my dictionary. One morning before the new school year started, I was thinking about whether my life was on the grid of God’s will. (A friend had shared this concept, and I was plumbing the depths of the metaphor). The word “grid” was fairly straight forward in its definition—“vertical and horizontal lines evenly spaced”. Not really the inspirational meaning I was looking for, so I flipped back to the definition of direct. The first entry was its verb usage, which offered this definition: “address; cause to move or follow a certain course; show (someone) the way”; all common meanings that I had mulled over before. But this time I went a little further and found the adjective usage of the word, which was “frank or straight-forward”. In that moment, my heart did a flip from my usual begging for clarity in reference to my life course to asking for God to be direct with me.

I no longer just wanted him to tell me what to do with my life, but I wanted him to look into my heart and redirect its course. Is there anything in my heart that hinders God’s will for my life? Does he see any hurtful ways that I relate to others? It was a bit frightening at first to ask these questions, but after a while I saw the freedom that comes from directness. Who wouldn’t rather that others be direct and frank with them, especially if there is something amiss in our appearance? Even more, I want to know if I am being a jerk.

My new approach to prayer will be to ask God to be frank with me, as the psalmist prayed, “Point out my sinfulness.” Not so I can squirm under scrutiny, but so I can be free from insulting God and hurting others.

“Now may the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the patience of Christ.”
                                                                                                                 2 Thessalonians 3:5 NKJV

Retreat: A Place of Privacy or Safety

My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.

When can I go and meet with God?

(Psalm 42:2 NIV)

“Possibly the barrier is not time at all. What we are up against is not really the pressure of events, not the many demands on our time, but a stubbornness within ourselves, a hard-heartednenss that will not yield to transformation and change.” (Emilie Griffin, Wilderness Time: A Guide for Spiritual Retreat)


The squeal and swoosh of the school bus brakes have returned to the neighborhood. Just when I was getting into a summer routine, the bell is ringing for classes to start. I am ready to finish my final semester at UM-St. Louis. I am one of those non-traditional students, who late in life decided she wanted her college education after all. As I gather notebooks and textbooks into my backpack, I begin to lament that my unhurried times in the gazebo gazing off into the cosmos of God’s heart will soon be over.

Instead my time will be filled with huge amounts of reading and writing papers, and collaborating with other students on projects to fulfill our requirements. How will I meet with God in the midst of this chaotic pace? It occurs to me that I will have to plan “retreats” during the week. This will take discipline because some days I will be overwhelmed and others just apathetic about anything. These feelings occur on a regular basis, so I want to plan in advance a strategy to ward off complacency.

Thankfully most of my classes start around 11am this semester, giving me more time to linger in the refuge of mornings on the porch or snatched moments of contemplation in the gazebo. This all sound a bit romantic, but sometimes I need to couch my life in these terms to find the adventure and joy of it all.

I like the concept of a retreat because it is an intentional way to escape the pressures of life. Usually when I think of retreat it is a time and place set apart with a group of people to reflect on God and learn more about how He wants me to live out this life. Since I don’t really have time for one of those right now, I want to incorporate the idea of retreat into my regular schedule.

In reading Emilie Griffin’s, Wilderness Time, a book about spiritual retreats, my interest increased in designing personal retreats in the midst of every day, ordinary life. I don’t know where this interest will lead me, but I hope to see some fruit in my personal life, and hopefully extend an invitation in the future for others to design their own personal retreats.

In the meantime, may I encourage you to spend some time thinking about and asking yourself, “When can I meet with God?” And maybe even contemplate why this is a good idea?

Journey: A Day’s Travel

"Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage."
(Psalm 84:5 NIV)


“. . .they relish the spirit of the journey, which is as much about the camaraderie as it is about reaching the intended destination.” (“Great Journey, Great Loop” by Bobbye Kenyon, Boating World magazine)

I love to travel. Planning our next destination is often the topic of conversation, when my husband and I are returning from a trip. We dream about the possibilities. We discuss the benefits of going to certain places during certain times of the year. While trips are fun and exciting at the time, I often come back from a trip a little blue. I miss the freedom from responsibility. The day after a trip I usually want to sleep or feel a great pressure to get something done.

This is where I find myself today, coming off of a great family time at Sunset Bay, NY. Our days included coffee in the morning, meals throughout the day, sunbathing on the beach, playing Pictionary and watching the sunset each evening. Now that I am home, I am back to figuring out my schedule. What do I need to get done before classes start in three weeks? How can I stick to a “one day at a time” philosophy, when it seems so many duties are facing me? Laundry, grocery shopping, doctor’s appointments, catching up with friends and some summer school assignments loom before me.

I’d rather just go back to bed, but the day is calling. We often think of a journey as travelling from place to place, but from its French root word- “jour” there is a sense of daily. To separate the long term journey mindset from the daily journey is not that easy. My romantic side wants to dwell on the great hope of the next destination, but my practical side needs to live in the day. How can I add a little romance to the daily?

I think it comes from realizing that each day has potential for camaraderie with God and others. God’s presence with Moses and the Israelites was a daily reality. The word for journey in Hebrew literally means to "break camp". The Israelites camped out until God initiated the next move. (See Numbers 9:15-23). To be attuned to God’s movement in my life takes paying attention. This takes time, energy and faith. I want to become more and more yielded to his Spirit, and respond with joyful obedience. I don’t know how this looks specifically, anymore than the Israelites probably knew where they would go next. The main thing they knew was that they wanted God’s presence to be in their midst. My ultimate heart’s desire is to be so absorbed with God’s presence that is doesn’t matter if I am in a romantic state of mind or a practical state of mind, but just that I am enjoying His company no matter what life brings my way.

Name: A Word or Phrase that Constitutes the Distinctive Designation of a Person or Thing; Having an Established Reputation

Those who know your name will trust in you,

for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.    (Psalm 9:10 NIV)

“The ancient Hebrews followed a practice of naming sons with magnificently descriptive words. They believed that the good name they bestowed on their offspring actually endowed the child with the power to attain its qualities. God wants us to know that the same is true for us of his names. . . And he wants us to run to the security of those names, fully persuaded of their meaning and power.”

(David Wilkerson, Hallowed Be Thy Names)

“Putting a name to a bird is the first step in preserving and protecting it. Without names, birds are generic and often ignored, but once you attach a name to a species, both it and you are transformed. For then you can consider this particular bird’s nesting requirements, its feeding niche, its migratory pathways, its singularity; and you care about its welfare.”

(Jonathon Alderfer and Jon L. Dunn, Birding Essentials)



“What’s your name?” This is the initial question when introducing ourselves, but just knowing a person’s name doesn’t mean you know that much about him or her. I can list several names of God from the Bible, even the Hebrew translations of them like: Adonai, El Elyon, El-Shaddai and Jehovah-Jireh. But if you do not know Hebrew, these are just foreign words. To get to know God better, I spend time with him becoming familiar with what his names mean.

I am not just getting a definition of his name, any more than I am looking for the literal meaning of an acquaintance’s name. In a relationship, I want to know what it means to be Joe So and So or Sue Such and Such. What has it been like living in their skin, how are they related to other people and how have they come to where they are today-- are all things I would want to know as I spend time with them. In a sense, I would get to know their reputation by living life with them.

Since the beginning of time man has not only been giving names to each other, but also to animals and plants. And then as time unfolded, we began naming places and events. We have been endowed with a propensity for naming. No wonder over the years, God has revealed himself through names. God also has been given names by those who have walked with him, because they knew that names hold much significance. This significance comes from more than just stating God’s name. God wants us to have more than just mere knowledge of his names, he desires us to experience the reputation of His names.

A recent struggle with my health brought this truth home to my heart. One spring evening, I suffered a series of incidents with numbness on the right side of my body. When I shared my symptoms, some friends advised me to get to the ER immediately. My trip to the ER landed me in the hospital overnight, and I knew that God was with me. All the tests taken the next day showed that nothing in my head or heart seemed to be the culprit. I went home thankful, and with orders to follow-up with my family doctor, yet with no clear diagnosis.

I waited a few more weeks, with this numbness still nagging at me. So I chided myself into making the phone call for the follow-up. My doctor listened attentively and ordered a MRI for my neck and my brain. I got through the neck MRI, and although it showed a bulging disc and a narrowing in the nerve area, he felt this was not the cause of my demise. Next came a month long battle to make it back into the MRI machine. Although I made it through the MRI of my neck, the experience revealed a weak spot, of which I have no control, namely, I am claustrophobic.

All through this struggle, I was praying and I was asking others to pray. I even had come across El-Shaddai, as a name of God in my Bible, and had done some digging into what it meant. Here’s what I read in the note at the bottom of the page, “El-Shaddai is the name of God which sets Him forth primarily as the strengthener and satisfier of His people. “All-sufficient” [is] . . . the characteristic use of the name in Scripture. God Almighty (El-Shaddai) not only enriches but makes fruitful.” (Note on Genesis 17:1 in New Scofield Study Bible, NIV)

The note in my Bible gave me an insight that I promptly filed in my “new knowledge” folder in my head. Then I left it there, thinking, “Wow! I never knew that about the meaning of El-Shaddai.” But God was not going to just leave me with this great knowledge; he was orchestrating a month’s worth of proving his reputation, and the experience of what it means to rely on El-Shaddai.

It took me three attempts to get through the MRI for my brain. The first attempt lasted seconds, the sounds of the machine seemed unbearable, so I squeezed my panic button, and asked to go home. God didn’t let me down; I just hadn’t quite understood yet that I was relying on my own courage to get through the procedure. I called my doctor’s office and asked if I could get some kind of sedative to get me through the test. They ordered it and I went back a week later, still covered in much prayer, and having spent the week resting and spending time with God in my secret garden gazebo.

This time, I took Les with me, and a dear friend came to sit with me again. The medicine relaxed me, and I had moral support, so I bravely walked with Les back to the machine. But once I got in the machine, I started hollering and kicking my feet for the technician to get me out of it. We were all disappointed, because I knew that God was with me, and that others had been praying. And I even had been rehearsing all the great Scripture verses about trusting in God and his promise to never leave or forsake me.

I went back home, called the doctor’s office again, telling them I really needed something else to get me through. They ordered an open MRI, but no mention of sedation. I told myself to be strong and that God would surely get me through this third attempt. I had a couple weeks before I went back and I tried not to think or talk about my trauma. I told myself I could do it. I started claiming promises that God would let me sleep through the procedure, asking friends to pray for this same type of deliverance.

My anxiety still was rising every time I thought about the MRI machine, and especially the terrifying noises that it makes. Two days before the scheduled test, I called about a sedative again. The doctor’s office ordered an increased dose. During those two days, I still wrestled with doubts about getting through this experience. On Wednesday night, I decided to act on the promise that praising God helps take away our fears. I went to a praise and communion service at a neighborhood church with two friends. As I worshipped and wept, God reassured me of his love. I confessed to him that I was a coward, and that I needed his courage, his “El-Shaddai”-ness to get me through.

The next morning with my body sleepy due to the medication, and my spirit calmed because of the surrender the night before, I groggily walked into the room with the open MRI. The technician was a very sweet woman, who got me settled. I told her I was going to say a verse before I started. So I said out loud, “When you lie down, you will not be afraid. When you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.” (Proverbs 3:24, NIV)

The technician offered me a plastic rosary to hold. I took the cross with Jesus’ body on it and held him in my hands. His Spirit spoke peace to me, and gave me realistic images, instead of nightmarish ideas of what the sounds were like. Instead of terrifying metal monsters, the sounds were like a jack hammer and techno music and Morse code. I didn’t fall asleep, but I definitely knew Jesus had not left or forsaken me at anytime, just this time I was experiencing his strength, sufficiency and peace.

My numbness prevails, but my heart has been opened to a deeper sensitivity of what it means to call upon the names of God. My MRI results were normal. Of course, many people question the psychological validity of that diagnosis. I am relieved to know that God will be with me during this mysterious season, and that I am not currently facing a major physical illness.

Secret Garden

“And the roses—the roses! Rising out of the grass, tangled round the sun-dial, wreathing the tree-trunks, and hanging from their branches, climbing up the walls and spreading over them with long garlands falling in cascades—they came alive day by day, hour by hour. Fair, fresh leaves, and buds—and buds—tiny at first, but swelling and working Magic until they burst and uncurled into cups of scent delicately spilling themselves over their brims and filling the garden air.” (The Secret Garden, by Frances Hodgson Burnett)


“I think it’s possible to forget how alive we really are. We can become dry and tired, just existing, instead of really living. We need to remind ourselves of the juice of life, and make that a habit. Find those places inside that jump for joy,, and do things that bring out your best, most magic self.” (Inspiration Sandwich by SARK)


Magic: (figuratively). “An inexplicable and remarkable influence producing surprising results; an enchanting or mystical quality; glamour, appeal. Also: exceptional skill or talent, inspired accomplishment.” (OED online)


“Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4 NIV)


A few years ago, my clever husband transformed an outgrown tree house into a gazebo in our side yard. I did not know this, but when he built the tree house with the boys, he planned one day for the floor to be lowered to ground level in case he wanted to put a shed up. We already had a shed, so we made a gazebo instead. It became my Secret Garden retreat.

Last year, I neglected this space. This spring when I went out to scrape paint and to spruce it up, I decided it was too much work, so I told my husband he could tear it down if he wanted. I just didn’t seem to care about it anymore. Yet some little children had not forgotten about it. On a Saturday not so long ago, I was talking to my nieces and nephews on Skype. They range from almost ten to four years old. The almost ten year old asked about the Secret Garden, and then they all chimed in. "Can we see your Secret Garden?" Even the four year old wanted to know about it, and she was just starting to toddle the last time they had visited and we played there.

I told them I needed some children to come help me restore the garden.

As a child I was enchanted by the story of three young people who found a neglected garden, and secretly began working to restore it. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I would ask my mother and three sisters what was a favorite story from their childhood. Unanimously they each individually mentioned The Secret Garden. The magic of that story has stayed with each one of us. I am sure we each would have different reasons why it meant so much to us.

For me it is the joy of seeing something that was neglected being restored to its former beauty. It reminds me of the work that God does in our hearts. How when we delight ourselves in Him, as He delights in us, our lives are made new. Desires are rekindled, we want to run and leap for joy. Even when we feel dry and worn out, we can count on God to bring the restoring life of the Spirit in-- to remind us that life is worth living.

Inspired by four little children, I went back out to the gazebo this week. I scrubbed it clean and decided to not repaint the floor. I gathered some items from around the yard and house, creating a little retreat for me to sit and read. Maybe I will dust off my copy of The Secret Garden.

I would love to hear about one of your favorite childhood stories from a book or even your own life.

Miscellany: A Mixture of Various Things

Blessed be the Lord,
Who daily loads us with benefits,
The God of our salvation! (Psalm 68:19 NKJV)

Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior,
who daily bears our burdens. (Psalm 68:19 NIV)

Crisis, change, all the myriad upheavals that blister the spirit and leave us groping—they aren’t voices simply of pain but also of creativity. And if we would only listen, we might hear such times beckoning to a season of waiting, to the place of fertile emptiness.

Sue Monk Kidd, When the Heart Waits


It has been quite awhile since I last posted. It was almost like I gave up blogging for Lent. I had great plans of contemplating Lent. I had hoped to observe the Holy Triduum leading up to the pinnacle of Christ's conquering death on the cross, where he overcame the grave and appears alive again! These aspirations went by the wayside as life again invaded, and I found myself alternately exulting, and then lamenting the amount of work it takes to be a full-time non-traditional student.

The reason I am back to blogging. I missed it. Writing is key to how I express myself. While classes are on, my writing is usurped by papers and essays. When classes are off, I get to take back my writing juices for creative and contemplative purposes.

I won’t make any big promises, but I hope to blog more this summer. For some reason finishing things seems to take more energy. I have one semester left to complete my degree in English. I want to embrace the opportunity to learn with joy, but let’s face it sometimes going to school is a lot of work. I can honestly say, I will be glad when this season is over. Change is on the horizon. Change can inspire joy and it also can conjure up fear.

I like what one of my new “mentors” says about fear. I met her in a bookstore through her books. Not in person, but in her book. Her name is SARK. She inspires me because in her writing, she really doesn’t seem to care what others think of her, and she makes me laugh. This is what she said about fear:

“Invite your fears in, then tell them to sit down and shut up.”

See what I mean. She makes me laugh.

However, the burden of living can be very serious at times. That is why we need God, and why we need “mentors” who speak to us through their voices, their writings and their very lives.

I hope this blog will become a place where you find out that you are not alone in your current crisis. That God wants to daily load you with benefits. . . namely the benefit of having our burdens eased through His love and the people he puts into our lives.

Here is a list of miscellany God-benefits:

Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits —
who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's. (Psalm 103:2-5 NIV)

Grudge: A Feeling of Deep-Seated Resentment or Ill Will

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.  (Ephesians 4:30-32 NIV)

“Why you holdin' grudges in old jars?” Newsboys, Million Pieces (Kissin’ Your Cares Goodbye)



Finally, the promised, second part of my last blog entry. I hope the lapse of time hasn’t caused you to start storing up any grudges against me. I have been busy filling Ordinary Time with going to school, and contemplating the goodness of God in the midst of my every day struggles.

Last time, we talked about canning, and how if the seal doesn’t take, you get rotten peaches or tomatoes. Grudges hinder us. They grieve the Holy Spirit. Grieving the Holy Spirit sounds like a weighty offense, and it is, mainly because it is like hurting your best friend on purpose. But thanks be to God, he gave us the gift of confession and the promise of forgiveness.

I did not plan to write today. I really did mean to keep to a weekly habit of posting a blog, but alas life got in the way. But I find it interesting, that today, I woke up ready to get something posted. To keep my promise of the part two of this series on Mardi Gras, the last day of Ordinary Time, seems timely.

So now this blog will transition into an invitation to join me in the next major observation of the Liturgical Year: Lent. Today is the day to say “farewell to the flesh,” as so many will do in excess.

Many will  also make promises to fast from something for the next forty days in preparation for the celebration of Christ’s Resurrection. I am thinking about fasting from grudges. How about you?

To read more about the roots of Mardi Gras click here: http://www.americancatholic.org/features/mardigras/

Seal: To Determine Irrevocably or Indisputably

And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in Him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession-to the praise of His glory. (Ephesians 1:13-14 NIV)

“Surrender Everything And Live!” (my newest motto for life)

Just to warn you this will be the first entry of a two-part blog. I have two topics mulling around in my head, and wasn’t sure whether to go with the feel good message first, or hit ourselves with the “ouch” one. So I decided to go with this happier one first, to soften the blow.

I recently came up with this”seal” acronym to help my friend and I, as we each face daily spiritual battles. Namely, to do that which at times seems too overwhelming--like making the bed, perhaps. We asked God for a strategy that would work for each of us. I left her with the promise that I would be her s.e.a.l. prayer partner. Driving home, I was playing around with ideas for the acronym, and the above motto popped into my head, “Surrender Everything and Live!” I laughed to myself because in most military efforts the cry is “Surrender or Die!” I love the twist.

I was trying to think of something that we could relate to when we think about being “sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise”, which brings me to canning. Not that I practice the ancient art, but I did grow up in a family who valued storing our hard earned produce for the winter. I remember enjoying fresh canned peaches that we had picked in an orchard during the summer. We would sanitize the glass jars in our dishwasher, boil the two-part metal lids on the stove top, then fill the clean jars with sliced peaches covering them with syrup made from sugar and water. Next, we would line up the seal part of the lid on the jar and then loosely screw on the rim. We had this big black, speckled pot with a jar holding contraption inside. We would place each filled and prepared jar in the cage-like mechanism, and lower them into a water bath, boiling the jars for the required time.

My mother would remind us to listen for the pop that the seal made to indicate that the process was complete. We could also authenticate the seal by visually checking that the center of the lid, which was indented at the beginning, had indeed popped up. This was an important check in the process. If the seal didn’t take, we could start over. If we missed a jar, in the winter our peaches would be rotten.

Authenticating the seal insured fresh peaches. I am not sure this is the best metaphor for understanding the seal of the Holy Spirit, but I like to know that I have been authenticated by the Holy Spirit, as far as my salvation is concerned. Through Jesus’ sacrifice I know that I have been preserved from God’s wrath, but the seal of the Holy Spirit assures me that this knowledge can be freshly applied to my daily spiritual battles. It has been determined irrevocably! To dispute the fact that Jesus has redeemed us would be pointless, since we have the promised Holy Spirit indwelling us.

Surrender is the means by which I know the seal has taken hold! And now to live!

Routine: A Regular Course of Procedure; a Worked-Out Part

(Routine has its roots in route meaning: “traveled way”)

In the heavens he has pitched a tent for the sun,
which is like a bridegroom coming forth from his pavilion,
like a champion rejoicing to run his course.
Ps 19:4b-5 NIV

“. . . [I]t might be true that sun rises regularly because he never gets tired of rising. His routine might be due, not to lifelessness, but to a rush of life.” G. K. Chesterton


I am not the sun, so I do tire of rising. I get the doldrums. I dig in my heels and resist routine. I want out. I want to do nothing. But alas, when I have nothing to do, I get depressed. I tire of it as well. I need a change of perspective.

The definition of routine is about as rousing as the forcing of myself to engage in my daily routines, especially when I get in a funk like this. I want to blame my blues on the lack of blueness in the sky. I tell myself, it’s just winter, I always get down this time of year. I am not in a full blown state of despair, but I’m just saying-- it’s difficult to stay motivated.

The psalmist and Chesterton both have something in their poetry and prose that I think is lacking in my perspective of routine. I need a little imaginative, role playing to help me get up and face the day. To engage in some story making. To embrace adventure as my credo. If I would wake up and remember God has a role for me today, a worked-out part, maybe I would be a little more enthusiastic.

Others have traveled this route before, and have made it through the dark days. I need to surround myself with their stories and sayings. And take to heart that Jesus, himself, walked these weary ways of the flesh; he feels my frustration. Yet at the same time, he is the only one, who can lift my head and cause me to rise like the sun. He gives me the “rush of life” at just the right moment. And gently reminds me to not try so hard. To let the routines take care of themselves, to stay on the traveled way is his invitation at this moment.

Ordinary Time: In Between Feasts

Taste and see that the LORD is good.
Oh, the joys of those who trust in him!
                                          Psalm 34:8 NLT

“Ordinary Time reminds us that contemplation is the center of the Christian life. It is the place where the mind of Christ and our own come to know one another, where we integrate our concerns in this world by attuning them to the next.” -Joan Chittister, The Liturgical Year


We started our journey several weeks back with observing Advent. Yesterday marked the feast of Epiphany and this coming Sunday many celebrate the remembrance of Christ’s baptism. If you are keeping the liturgical year with me, then this coming Monday we head into Ordinary Time. A season which is observed between the feasts. The four major feasts are Christmas, Lent, Pentecost and Advent. Advent leads us into Christmastide and several feasts including Epiphany.

As I mentioned before, this is a fairly new practice for me to observe these feasts, so I am not really sure what is expected of me during this Ordinary Time. But I do agree that contemplation is central to my walk with Christ. Since I have a break from my regular routine for ten more days, I am looking forward to more time to contemplate our Savior. We often say when we want to understand some topic that we are going to pick the brain of an expert. The Scriptures tell us that we have access to the mind of Christ, that our thinking can actually be transformed and renewed. (1 Corinthians 2:16; Romans 12:2) I am thinking that picking the brain of Jesus through Scriptures will be one of my main pursuits this year.

Although the feasts of Advent and Christmas have passed, I still want to feast on the Word of God. Maybe it will not be a fancy meal or special dessert, but I do want to daily take in the presence of God with regular Bible readings and devotions, sticking with the basics, and every once in a while savoring a extraordinary helping of spiritual sustenance by sharing an extended day with Jesus.

Jesus invites us to meet with him in the setting of a meal. He says, “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. “ Revelation 3:20 NKJV

Won’t you accept the invitation of Jesus to dine with him?

Next: Nearest or Adjacent To

To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven. . .
                                    Ecclesiastes 3:1 NKJV

“Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good,
And let your soul delight itself in abundance.
Incline your ear, and come to Me.
Hear, and your soul shall live . . .”

The Word of the LORD through the prophet Isaiah (Isa 55 NKJV)


Happy Next Year! So often I get caught up in the newness of a year, yet this New Year’s Day, I was struck by the idea that today just begins the next year on the calendar. Not last year, not a year from now, but that which is going to unfold next. I don’t know why this is so intriguing to me, except that maybe I am not so interested in doing something new this year. I kind of like my current routines. I don’t need a new goal for healthy living—I need to keep making the next good choice. I don’t have to find a fresh way to connect with God—His word and prayer and loving others are the tried and true ways. I just need to keep trusting Him to lead me to the next step of faith.

I am sure there are some habits I need to change or some attitudes that I need to improve, but mostly I am content. So instead of approaching this as a new year filled with over ambitious expectations of myself and others, I plan to continue on the path and see what happens next.

Marvel: To Become Filled with Surprise, Wonder or Amazed Curiosity

“The child's father and mother marveled at what was said about him."
 Luke 2:33 NIV

“Life is like an exciting book, and every year starts a new chapter.” Unknown


As I was rereading the account of Jesus’ birth, I was caught up in the marvel of it all. The cast of characters surrounding the unfolding narrative are as varied as our neighbors. The account, as given by Luke, opens with the elderly couple Zechariah and Elizabeth. Zechariah, as a priest, was appointed to offer prayers. When the angel, Gabriel, tells him that he and his wife, barren and past child bearing age, were to have a child, Zechariah is stunned into silence by his own wavering of faith. We leave this amazing curiosity to find Mary, a young virgin girl, receiving a similar message about a miraculous conception—she was to be overshadowed by the Holy Spirit and bear the Son of God. Joseph must have been surprised, and it was necessary for him to have a dream encounter with a messenger from God to grasp this marvelous news.

Things seem to settle back into a routine, when it is decreed that the Roman government wants to take a census, and Joseph must take his very pregnant wife to Bethlehem. Once they get to town, her labor pains increase, and Mary delivers the baby Jesus in a stable, wrapping him in cloths and laying him in the manger.

In the meantime, some shepherds are keeping their flocks when wonder of wonders, another angelic messenger declares the good news of great joy that the Savior of mankind has been born. After this surprise visit from the shepherds and their ponderous message, Mary and Joseph, seem to get some rest.

According to their religious law a few months later, they go to the temple in Jerusalem to consecrate their first born to God. Here they receive the marvelous prophecy from Simeon, who had waited upon God many years to see the day the Savior would be born.

Here are the words they marveled at:

"Sovereign Lord, as you have promised,
you now dismiss your servant in peace.
For my eyes have seen your salvation,
which you have prepared in the sight of all people,
a light for revelation to the Gentiles
and for glory to your people Israel."

Luke 2:29-32 NIV

Jesus, not even a year old, and so much had already happened surrounding his young life. The emotions must have been running all over for Mary and Joseph.

As I look back over this past year, I marvel at all the various moments I encountered, which were made possible by our Creator, and the Savior of the world—Jesus. I wonder what surprises He has in store for each of us this year. I want to become more and more filled with amazed curiosity, as He creates new life in me, and adds to this next chapter of my life. How about you?

Weary: Exhausted in Strength, Endurance, Vigor or Freshness

All things are full of weariness;
a man cannot utter it;
the eye is not satisfied with seeing,
nor the ear filled with hearing.      
Ecclesiastes 1:8 ESV

“This is a weary world when Jesus is away—we could better do without sun and moon than without him—but how divinely fair all things become in the glory of his presence! Our souls know the virtue which dwells in Jesus, and can never be content without him.” Charles H. Spurgeon


Sometimes life exhausts me. I love adventures and quests, but some days I just want to rest. To do absolutely nothing appeals to me. I thought maybe some others could relate, so I thought I’d put that out there today.

I was wondering if Mary and Joseph ever felt weary as parents. I was wondering how exhausted shepherds get when tending to their blaring, bleating and belligerent sheep. I was wondering how much endurance and vigor it took the Magi to travel across the barren terrain to find the Messiah. I was wondering if Jesus ever wearies of our complaining and our chasing after other things to satisfy us.

I don’t know if any of the above scenarios ever happened or happen. But one thing I do know, people get weary. We want a fresh perspective, new ideas and hope for the future. And I also know that Jesus offers rest for the weary. Since he walked amongst us, I am pretty sure he understands our weariness.

I had hoped to share some new insight into my quest to celebrate the Christmas feast, but instead I offer you this invitation from Jesus:

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me - watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.”
Matthew 11:28-29, The Message

And maybe this is the best way to celebrate today: Rest.

Feast: Something That Gives Unusual or Abundant Enjoyment

They feast on the abundance of your house;
You give them drink from your river of delights.
For with you is the fountain of life;
In your light we see light. Psalm 36:8-9 NIV

“We do not come to Christmas to pretend that the baby Jesus is born again this day. . . We come to Christmas looking for the signs of Jesus’ presence manifest in our own life and age, in us and in the world around us.”
- Joan Chittister, The Liturgical Year


Although the wrapping paper went out with the recycling this morning, and gifts have been presented to loved ones, our Christmas tree still holds vigil in the corner of our family room. The lights on the tree stay lit through the night, and I’ve hardly unplugged it this year. It reminds me that we are in the midst of a celebration that invades our lives, and asks us to keep remembering the Light of the World.

To keep my heart tender toward the mystery of the Incarnation, each year I think I will celebrate the twelve days after Christmas, which lead to Epiphany. I have a vague idea of this observance, but no real frame of reference, since I was not raised liturgically. I could probably sing all the verses of the familiar song, and have heard that each one of the verses symbolizes significant events in the life of Christ and the church. But I want to know how to celebrate these twelve days. I want to prepare for Epiphany.

As I was reading some more in The Liturgical Year, I found the chapter on Christmas fascinating. Apparently there has been some dispute over the centuries as to when to date the birth of Christ. And through some interesting reasoning the church of the West and the church of the East came up with these two dates. Then the more liturgical churches began celebrating the feast of Christmas, which starts on Christmas day and ends on January 6th or Epiphany, as a compromise of sorts.

You really have to read the whole chapter to get the sense of this, but the main conclusion about the dates comes down to this-- Christ’s birth was significant. Thus we celebrate this time of year. What I like about the feast is that those who observe it mark, not only the birth of Jesus, but also significant events in his life before Easter, such as his baptism.

I need to do some more investigating, but in the meantime my response will be to make this observance personal, not just a history lesson. To do so I will ask myself the following questions: What will I do with this knowledge of Emmanuel--God with us? Will I invite Jesus to teach me more about his life, and how it impacts mine? Will I read the gospels more? Will I be found ministering to those in need and comforting those who suffer this year? Will I become more like Jesus in my thoughts, words and actions?

How about you?

Cross: An Unavoidable Affliction

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  Hebrews 12 :2 NIV

"Early Christians knew without doubt all facets of the life of Christ stemmed from one reality…one central reality: the cross. Jesus was born to confront the cross; Jesus died on the cross to bring us to fullness of life; Jesus rose to defeat the cross; Jesus embodied what the role of the cross was to be in the life of us all." –Joan Chittister, The Liturgical Year

Visions of families gathered around the table eating delicacies both savory and sweet. Piles of presents wrapped and placed under our Christmas trees so neat. And just for good measure we remember the babe in the manger, where farm animals are said to eat. Why would one want to leave this scene and to mention the cross? Because if we keep saying that Jesus is the greatest gift without the mention of this greatest affliction, we should count it great loss.

Every adventure has its dark moments, and it seems every year that I contemplate the advent of our Savior, the “little Lord Jesus, asleep on the hay,” that it is not long before the images of passion week come into my readings or my mind. And as I was reading about the liturgical year, the author reminded me that while today we will sing and worship the newborn King, that every other day after this is marching us straight to the cross, the pinnacle of our experience of Jesus as our Savior.

To think on these things may be sobering, but they also bring about a mysterious hope. The cross was the unavoidable affliction that Jesus faced for us, yet he triumphed over it. Our hope is found in his resurrection. The hope of this season—a new birth—leads us to the wonderful news that we have access to new life ourselves.

The quest to follow the liturgical year for me is not just a religious checklist, but a desire to know the life of Jesus more fully, and to be willing to take up the cross of following him wherever this life leads me.

I want to leave you with a link to a very old poem that you may like to read and use in your contemplations of the Cross. The narrator of the poem has a vision of the cross, in which the cross is adorned with jewels. Further into his dream, the cross takes on a voice and tells from its perspective what the crucifixion was like. I like the creativity of this poem, and how the cross knew that Jesus willingly took his place on the cross. I would love to hear your thoughts on this poem, if you have a moment. The link takes you to a translation of the poem, it was originally written in Old English. Here it is: The Dream of the Rood (rood means cross).

Joy: A Source or Cause of Delight

“But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.” Luke 2:10-11 NIV

“Very often our joy is dulled by unnecessary anxiety. We let our peace of soul depend too much on persons and events and circumstances, and too little on God’s infallible and tender care.” – from the MaryKnoll Missal

“The essential of happiness is having something to do, something to love and something to hope for.” –Allan K. Chalmers

My adventure in liturgy has come in spurts this December. I had grand plans of daily contemplating the rich history of the church and its celebration of Advent, but alas this fast paced century keeps me from my monastic tendencies. So how does one contemplate Jesus and his arrival in this chaotic, performance driven culture? We plan events like Christmas eve services, we gather with family and give one another gifts as an attempt of emulating the gift of the Savior, and we crash on December 26th. Yet the liturgical year is just beginning, and we have more adventures ahead as we remember the life of Jesus.

In between Christmas and January 6th, which takes us through Epiphany Sunday, we still have time to contemplate the birth of Christ. In our secular world, many will just take a break waiting to celebrate New Year’s Eve, and then start another cycle of chasing after the offerings of this world. And most likely I will, too. I am not out to attack secular pursuits, but I am on a quest to keep Christ as the main focus of how I pursue this life.

This is just the beginning of the journey. So let’s enjoy the newness of life that surges through our heart as we travel back in time to the Birth of our Savior. What new things does He have in store for us?

As I enter the next couple of very special days on the church calendar, the Christmas vigil and Christmas Day, I want to ponder some questions that Joan Chittister poses in her book, The Liturgical Year. Will you join me in my ponderings?

“What does the life of Jesus now mean to us? How is [his] life affecting our own? Are we ourselves living both the promise and the potential [that is offered to us by his life]?”

Tent: A Portable Shelter

“Lord, you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations.”
                                                                                       Psalm 90:1 NIV

“While you journey through life in My Presence, My Glory brightens the world around you.”     from Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young


This morning I was sitting in my usual spot trying to enjoy some quiet moments with God. Before I got to that place of quiet, I had been working on my Christmas to-do list. I had visions of ice covered parking lots, but I was planning to brave the weather, and get the task of shopping for gifts, aka gift cards, knocked off my list. I also am in the middle of a project to make some special gifts for family members. So my spirit was having a hard time getting settled. As I was trying to concentrate, my eye caught the title of a book on my little shelf next to my chair, and I took it as an invitation from God: “Come Away with Me.” At first, I resisted and thought, “ I don’t have anywhere to come away with you, the guest/craft room is filled with junk to go through and it’s too cold to sit out on the front porch.” Both of these places have served as sort of refuge and retreat on different occasions, but not today.

The next thought that popped into my head was the image of putting a cover over my head so I could block out the world around me to just be still and enjoy God’s presence. This thought led to a very incredible thought, “Why don’t you build a tent out of blankets, like you did as a little girl and like your boys did when they were young?” As you can imagine tears welled up, because those days were very dear to me. I cried for a bit, and then tried to talk myself out of this absurd idea. But it persisted, and I just happened to have a big blanket on the couch, so I set to making myself a little shelter to sit in and read my Bible today.

My husband didn’t say a word, the cat explored and the dog was very suspicious of the whole ordeal. I climbed in and laid on my back like a child, looking up at my creation. More tears, and then the release into carefree living.

So I gathered my journal and Bible, and settled into my little tent. I felt a little like the prophets, who God asked strange requests of over the years. Then pounce, the cat jumped onto the top of the tent and everything came crashing down. I just sat there laughing out loud with a startled cat on my back.

I don’t know if there is a lesson in all of this, but I invite you to find your own special place to retreat with God today, and just enjoy the carefree moment of being with Him.

“Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you.” 1 Peter 5:7 The Message

Kiss: A Mark of Affection or Respect

Love and faithfulness meet together;

righteousness and peace kiss each other.

Psalm 85:10 NIV

Mistletoe

Walter de le Mare

Sitting under the mistletoe
(Pale-green, fairy mistletoe),
One last candle burning low,
All the sleepy dancers gone,
Just one candle burning on,
Shadows lurking everywhere:
Some one came, and kissed me there.

Tired I was; my head would go
Nodding under the mistletoe
(Pale-green, fairy mistletoe),
No footsteps came, no voice, but only,
Just as I sat there, sleepy, lonely,
Stooped in the still and shadowy air
Lips unseen—and kissed me there.

Kissing…ewww! That’s what a first grade boy thinks. Kissing…ahhhh. That’s what a romantic young girl dreams while she stands under the mistletoe. But what does kissing have to do with Christmas?

“In eighteenth century England, a young woman could not refuse to be kissed if she was standing under the ornately decorated “kissing ball.” But the origins of mistletoe's significance go further back to a Greek festival and early marriage rites. It was believed to bestow fertility and “life-giving” power. In Scandinavia, mistletoe was considered a plant of peace, under which enemies could declare a truce or warring spouses kiss and make-up.” http://www.theholidayspot.com/christmas/history/mistletoe.htm

In Eastern cultures, to kiss someone was to greet them. We could equate this with our handshake. Again I ask what all this has to do with Christmas. The answer came to me through the psalmist's use of personifying love and faithfulness, and righteousness and peace. We find these four rich concepts greeting and kissing one another. This metaphor points us to God’s desire to connect with us. I especially like the image of how “righteousness and peace kiss each other;”giving us the image of these two abstract ideas sharing something. Righteousness shows respect to peace, peace affectionately embraces righteousness. This coming together of love and faithfulness, and righteousness and peace embodies the whole of Christmas. Christmas becomes the greatest gesture of all. God kisses the earth with His presence. All-righteous God takes on human flesh. The babe born in the manger grows into the faithful expression of God’s love. Loving us all through his obedience to the Father, he graciously takes our place on the cross.

Jesus accepts the kiss of death for us. He brings peace to our warring hearts, and offers the way to make-up with our Creator God. Leaving us with the holy kiss of His Spirit, he asks us to show the same respect and affection for one another, which he had for his Father and for us.

As we enter the third week of Advent will you join me in the Prayer Appointed for the Week:


Stir up your power, O Lord, and with great might come among us; and, because we are sorely hindered by our sins, let your bountiful grace and mercy speedily help and deliver us; through Jesus Christ our Lord, to whom, with you and the Holy Spirit, be honor and glory now and for ever. Amen

Invisible: Inaccessible to View, Hidden

“…for he [Moses] endured as seeing Him who is invisible.” Hebrews 11:27 NKJV

“The liturgical year…does not immediately plunge us in to the chaos of the Crucifixion or the giddy confusion of the Resurrection. Instead, the year opens with Advent, the season that teaches us to wait for what is beyond the obvious. It trains us to see what is behind the apparent. Advent makes us look for God in all those places we have, until now, ignored.”   Joan Chittister, The Liturgical Year


As we enter the second week of Advent, I haven’t even had a chance to share one tradition that we adopted when my husband and I first married. We discussed which traditions we wanted to keep from our childhood experiences, but we also wanted to start our own traditions as a newly married couple. We decided to celebrate Advent. I created an advent wreath out of greenery and four votives and a candlestick in the middle. We found a book called Christ in Christmas: A Family Advent Celebration. Each Sunday of Advent we would read the readings after lighting the candle for the week. Over the years we marveled at the changes in our family, from the first Christmas where we just read the text out loud to our infant son to the toddler years where with two little boys it was hard to keep them still during the readings. Then as they grew older we tried the activities the book suggested, and at the end of the reading the boys would fight over whose turn it was to blow out the candles. We still have the book on our bookshelf, but Advent devotions as a family are far and few between. Although last year or the one before, it was very touching when our sons joined in, each preparing a devotion to share with the family. Those years are mostly behind us now, as they both are working or in college. I still try to have my own times of reflection, and this habit of blogging my journey each Advent has lately become my new tradition.

I share our story, not just to conjure up nostalgia, but to show how one can see the invisible. How important these traditions have been in reminding us of the realness of Jesus in our midst. How he really did arrive in history, and how he will return one day. It is a mystery, but with spiritual eyes and stirrings of the soul, we can perceive that which is unseen. Moses’ story is worth revisiting as an example of how the immortal, invisible God manifests himself to mere humans. Let’s recount the ways he revealed himself to Moses and then the Israelites: a burning bush, the ten plagues, the pillar of fire by night and the cloud by day, the parting of the Red Sea, the experience of receiving the ten commandments with all its natural and supernatural drama.

Later on Paul would assert his conclusion about God’s hiddeness:

Since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities-his eternal power and divine nature-have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.


Romans 1:19, 20 NIV

And may I suggest that following the liturgical year, and the reflecting on the meaning of each candle in the advent wreath, can be visible reminders of our invisible God.

Now unto the King eternal,
immortal,
invisible,
the only wise God,
be honour and glory for ever and ever.

Amen.

1 Timothy 1:17 KJV

Decorate: To Add Honor To

“This is the LORD’s doing, and it is marvelous in our eyes.” Psalm 118:23

“Where are you Christmas
Why can't I find you
Why have you gone away
Where is the laughter
You used to bring me
Why can't I hear music play”  Faith Hill

This past Saturday was my designated time to clean the family room, and then decorate the tree, and put up other decorations. I really did try not to complain this year as I went about this task. I started out well, but cleaning always takes longer than I expect. I had a bit of headache. And I just wasn’t feeling the Christmas mood, even with the carols playing softly in the background. And then it happened I heard myself ask, “Whose idea was it to decorate Christmas trees anyway…grrr…?”

My oldest son, who was sitting in the other room tried to encourage me by reminding me that four years ago, we all decided that I only had to decorate as much as I wanted. His comment helped me relax, and enjoy myself. And I put a few things back in their boxes, and decided once again I didn’t have to put all the ornaments on the tree.

It’s kind of strange that I had already forgotten the inspiring answer I gave to my mother earlier in the week, when she asked a similar question, “Why do we rearrange our whole house for this holiday?” I immediately answered, “We’re making room for Jesus.” We both were stunned for a moment at the simply profound answer that came out of my mouth.

Today I had an even more amazing thought. Jesus rearranged his whole life to enter our world. He took on flesh. He humbled himself to be born in a manager. He humbled himself to die on the cross. He humbly followed and devoted himself to the Father’s plan.

Maybe the music of Christmas, and the mood I long for, were not resonating with me because I have neglected to acknowledge that this is God’s doing. Christmas is his way of reaching out to me, to all mankind. And it is indeed marvelous when I really take the time to contemplate all that it means to honor Christ in all aspects of my life.

How will you decorate your life this season? What ways can we celebrate Christ in our homes and our hearts this Christmas?

And even when all our decorations are back in the attic or basement, will we still add honor to his name?

Light: A Way of Regarding Something

“For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.” 2 Corinthians 4:6 KJV

“Almighty God, give all of us grace to cast away the works of darkness, and put on the armor of light, now in the time of this mortal life in which your Son Jesus Christ came to visit us in great humility; that in the last day, when he shall come again in his glorious majesty to judge both the living and the dead, we may rise to the life immortal; through him who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen” The Prayer Appointed for the Week, from The Divine Hours

As we approach the end of this first week of Advent, the lights of Christmas are popping up around our neighborhood. I went to my first Christmas social gathering. The first annual Mother/Daughter Gingerbread House Decorating Party with a group of dear friends. We each are facing our own battles with darkness. It was good to just be together in the lightness of the evening, instead of bogged down with the heaviness of life situations. We got to create fun little houses that reflected each personality.

We had a moment to reflect on the light of the world. Mom’s little house wouldn’t stay put together, so we designed a stable and she even had a miniature of the holy family to place in the stable. It was sweet to remember that the true light of Christmas was the One who commanded the light to shine in the first place. The lights and the sweets of the season were put into perspective as we thought of those who are less fortunate than ourselves. We read from Hababbuk 3:17-19, remembering to rejoice even when life does turn out like we expect.

Our little gathering was an example of how traditions get started. Everyone had so much fun that they wanted to know if we could do it again next year. The memories and the joy of creating will keep our hearts light when we face the harder days. We have something to look forward to.

In the prayer book I am following in my devotions this year, one of the refrains of the the liturgy reminds us of the promised return of Jesus, a greater event to look forward to. The refrain is titled, The Cry of the Church.

It says, “Even so, come, Lord Jesus!”

Legacy: A Gift by Will

“If God didn't hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn't gladly and freely do for us?” Romans 8:32 The Message

“The seasons and cycles and solemnities put before us in the liturgical year are more than representations of time past; they are an unending sign—a veritable sacrament of life. It is through them that the Christ-life becomes present in our own lives in the here and now.” Joan Chittister, The Liturgical Year


For me this adventure of discovering the liturgy has been a journey over the past several years. As a child I was introduced to Jesus through Sunday school at a country church that was not affiliated with a denomination. The teacher asked the class if we wanted to have Jesus live in our hearts. After I asked him to live in my heart, so that I could live with him forever in heaven, my spiritual formation was very informal. I continued to attend Sunday school sporadically, and in the summer we attended various Vacation Bible School programs with our neighbors, mostly at Baptist churches in the community. In about fifth grade I attended a Baptist church with one of my schoolmates whose father was the pastor. I became familiar with hymns like Amazing Grace, I Surrender All, as well as altar calls and my favorite-- Sword Drills. My competitive spirit loved standing at attention with Bible in hand waiting to see who could find the called out Scripture the fastest. Also we sang this great song during Sunday school called the Countdown Song. It was great since the world was all a buzz with landing on the moon and space travel and the Jetsons on Saturday morning. The opening verse went something like this: “Somewhere in outer space God has prepared a place for those who trust him and obey.” Good times.

Yet I missed out on after school catechism classes, first communion and confirmation that my Catholic friends experienced. It wasn’t until I was an adult inoculated in one mainstream tradition that I began to wonder about other church traditions. I confess that because their approach was different than mine, I mostly made fun of them or even worse was fearful of their traditions.

The legacy of the liturgy dates back to the early church. In the Catholic Encylopedia online, the general consensus was that although the liturgy was not as formal as it has become, the early believers followed a loose format when they met together. (See Acts 2:42) To give a brief overview of the history of liturgy would take a whole semester at least, so suffice it to say, we have been handed down a rich legacy of traditions from various groups. I will recommend another of my favorite mentors on this topic of spiritual heritage and formation, Richard J. Foster. In his book Streams of Living Water, he celebrates the various contributions each tradition has offered. It’s a place to start if you are interested.

It was interesting to note that the word liturgy was possibly first used in 1560. This was the year that the Anglican Church published their Book of Common Prayer into Latin for use at universities. Again so much history revolves around the Church of England and its break with the Catholic Church that I will refer you to an internet search if you want to know more.

What does this all have to do with us today, and celebrating Advent? The greatest legacy we have is Emmanuel. No matter how we approach the different traditions, Jesus is our central figure. He is the one that all of these celebrations are focused on. He is not just a child born in Bethlehem or the man who died on the cross—He is God with us! This is the greatest gift given to us our by the Father’s will that we have ever been offered. In the gospel of John, he states this about Jesus and about those who become his co-heirs through belief:

Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God- children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God.

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

John 1:12-14 NIV

10 and 9, 8 and 7, 6 and 5 and 4,
Call upon the Savior while you may,
3 and 2, coming through the clouds in bright array
The countdown's getting lower every day.

Adventure: An Exciting Experience or Undertaking

“This is the Lord's doing; it is marvellous in our eyes.” Psalm 118:23 KJV

“The liturgical year is an adventure in bringing the Christian life to fullness, the heart to alert, the soul to focus. It does not concern itself with the question of how to make a living. It concerns itself with the questions of how to make a life.” Joan Chittister, The Liturgical Year

Let me be the first to wish you a Happy New Year. Yes, I know that it is only the first of December. Actually I am a couple days late in my well wishing. The liturgical year marks the first Sunday of Advent as its beginning. While I was not brought up in a church that observes the seasons of the church year, I have been fascinated by the practice. I wondered how these seasons of advent and lent came into existence. Many of those who have been rediscovering the ancient spiritual practices have been reinvigorated in their spiritual lives. Over the years I have been seeking out new mentors to help me understand what it involves to follow Christ throughout the year, and remember the significant seasons of his life as well as the life of the church. As this season of Advent unfolds, I would like you to join me on my adventure and introduce to you my mentors (whom I have met in their books).

Our marking of days, weeks and years with our familiar calendar makes sense, since we live in this world. But as a follower of Christ, I want to live more and more in communion with the things of God, and so I am drawn to the liturgical year, which marks the remembrances of significant events in Christ’s life and the outpouring of the Holy Spirit. As we begin this particular liturgical year, I would like to explore together some of the history, as well as just experience the following of the liturgy.

Liturgy may be an unfamiliar word to most. And it may conjure up images of monks silently living out a daily regimen of reading Scripture, chanting prayers and meditating on an icon. Or for others it may mean following a prescribed form of worship Sunday after Sunday that is published by their church. For me, the sound of it is mysterious and foreign.

A quick search of its meaning at Merriam-Webster online (www.m-w.com) gives this definition:

a rite or body of rites prescribed for public worship; a customary repertoire of ideas, phrases or observances. Its origin is from Latin liturgia and Greek leitourgia, both meaning public service. In a note at the end of the entry it says the word was first used in 1560.

The public aspect of liturgy is significant. One observation I have made in my quest has been that my experience of the liturgy would be enhanced by the corporate practice of it. This explains my desire to draw others into my adventure. Some would recommend I find a congregation that practices the liturgy, yet at this point in my life I do not find myself in a position to seek out that setting. One, I am married, so the monastery is not an option. And two, I find myself in a contemporary setting that is familiar to me, and the place that my family has its roots and affections.

I hope that just as others have invited me into this journey through their writings, you will be intrigued and excited about learning new ways to engage the heart of Christ this year.

Fear: An Unpleasant Sensation Caused by Nearness of Danger or Pain

If you asked my family or friends if I was prone to be fearful, I bet most of them would deny it. Even if I asked myself that question, I would have to assert that I am fearless, most of the time. On the outside I may appear confident, without a care in the world. Yet today I read a prayer about overcoming fear, and I crumbled inside, letting the tears of fear roll down my face. I conceded that I do struggle against fear. Fear shadows so much of my thinking. But just like a shadow, unless I am standing with the sun behind me, I don’t always perceive this shadow of fear constantly following me.

But today the sun was shining just behind my heart and I caught a glimpse of this unwanted companion just standing there waiting for me to acknowledge its presence. In reality this encounter was a gracious act of the Son, who loves to show us what we’re up against. He longs for us to realize how much he wants us to live in the freedom he has already fought for so valiantly. Jesus has already faced all the danger and pain that fear throws at us. So even in this moment of recognizing my tendency toward living in the shadow of fear, I am grateful for the one of whom I can say:

The LORD is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life;
Of whom shall I be afraid? (Psalm 27:1 ESV)

I leave you with this prayer of confession from the book, Prayers for People Under Pressure by Jonathan Aitken:

I would like to rise above, Lord.
Above and beyond.
I would like to purify my glance
And borrow your eyes.
I have fears that grip so tightly.
Fears of failure. Fears of success.
Fears of not being loved, fears of being misunderstood.
I am imprisoned by my fears.
I would like to rise above, Lord.
Above and beyond.
I am worried about yesterday.
About my failure,
And whether I can be forgiven.
I am worried about tomorrow,
All the expectations and ideals.
I long to discover today.
I long to discover the place of joy
--the place of beauty
--the place of content
--the place that I know is here. So close.
And yet I love my prison and hate it.
I long for freedom.
My child, I hear your cry.
I have long been watching your closed shutters.
Why choose to be a prisoner of yourself?
You are free.
It is not I who locked the door,
It is not I who can open it
…for it is you, from the inside,
who persist in keeping it solidly barred.


Author Unknown