Nourishment for the Soul

Cross: An Unavoidable Affliction

2012-01-26T21:48:00.001-06:00

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross , scorning its shame,
and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Hebrews 12 :2 NIV

Early Christians knew without doubt all facets of the life of Christ stemmed from one reality…one central reality: the cross. Jesus was born to confront the cross; Jesus died on the cross to bring us to fullness of life; Jesus rose to defeat the cross; Jesus embodied what the role of the cross was to be in the life of us all. –Joan Chittister , The Liturgical Year

{This is a vintage blog from 2010, but I came across it while preparing for a time of contemplating the cross with some girlfriends. It was a timely word for today.}

Visions of families gathered around the table eating delicacies both savory and sweet. Piles of presents wrapped and placed under our Christmas trees so neat. And just for good measure we remember the babe in the manger, where farm animals are said to eat. Why would one want to leave this scene and to mention the cross? Because if we keep saying that Jesus is the greatest gift without the mention of this greatest affliction, we should count it great loss.

Every adventure has its dark moments, and it seems every year that I contemplate the advent of our Savior, the “little Lord Jesus, asleep on the hay,” that it is not long before the images of passion week come into my readings or my mind. And as I was reading about the liturgical year, the author reminded me that while on Christmas we will worship the newborn King, every other day after this is marching us straight to the cross. The pinnacle of our experience of Jesus as our Savior.

To think on these things may be sobering, but they also bring about a mysterious hope. The cross was the unavoidable affliction that Jesus faced for us, yet He triumphed over it. Our hope is found in His resurrection. The hope of this season—a new birth—leads us to the wonderful news that we have access to new life ourselves.

The quest to follow the liturgical year for me is not just a religious checklist, but a desire to know the life of Jesus more fully and a willingnessto take up the cross in order to follow Him wherever this life leads.

I want to leave you with a link to a very old poem that you may like to read and use in your contemplations of the Cross. The narrator of the poem has a vision of the cross, in which the cross is adorned with jewels. Further into his dream, the cross takes on a voice and from its perspective tells what the crucifixion was like. I like the creativity of this poem and how the cross knew that Jesus willingly took His place on the cross. I would love to hear your thoughts on this poem, if you have a moment. The link takes you to a translation of the poem, it was originally written in Old English. Here it is: The Dream of the Rood (Rood means cross).

The Girl With the Cross Earring

2012-01-26T16:42:00.001-06:00

More Nests

2012-01-24T22:03:00.000-06:00

Ordinary: The Regular or Customary Condition or Course of Things

2012-01-24T08:39:00.001-06:00

Last Sunrise of 2011

“When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.” Acts 4:13 NIV

"Ordinary Time comes from the term ordinal and means “counted time.” You might call it the “season between the seasons”—the weeks between the main events on the church calendar (like Lent, Pentecost and Advent)."

Sarah Arthur

“So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.”

Psalm 90:12 KJV

Each year I not only follow the calendar on the wall, but also I try to observe the church calendar or the liturgical year. It is Ordinary Time and it has been since January 7th. This time will continue until Ash Wednesday, which marks the beginning of Lent.

My life has been quite out of the ordinary this year. On the first day of Ordinary Time, our two grown sons moved into an apartment together, leaving our nest empty. Within a week, the nest was full again with the liveliness of four young children. My sister and her kids stayed with us, while arrangements were being made for the kids to enroll in school. Two Saturdays after we had moved the boys, we moved my mom, my sister and the kids into a house right around the corner.

I haven’t had any time to experience ordinary life, until this week. May I grumble for a moment…I don’t like regular days. I yearn for excitement, purpose and activity. It is hard for me to rest. At the beginning of Ordinary Time, I proclaimed a sort of Sabbath rest for myself and so far my observation of this rest has been a little off or at least different than I had imagined.

It helps to know that Ordinary Time is not just to be suffered through; it is to be numbered and counted. It is the time to look forward to the next feast. I like how Peter and John were considered ordinary. Their ordinariness was marked by the miracle of Jesus healing presence in their action and words. They were with Jesus.

While it is good to look forward to feasts, I am reminded to enjoy the moments of daily resting in the Presence of Jesus. It seemed easier to contemplate Him in the manger. Now I ask myself, will I contemplate His journey to the cross with just as much awe? To walk with Him through these seemingly ordinary days, while looking for glimpses of His mysterious presence and workings in this world and in my soul, this is the aim of Ordinary Time.

Nest: A Place of Rest, Retreat or Lodging

2012-01-12T19:40:00.000-06:00

How lovely is your dwelling place,

O LORD Almighty!

My soul yearns, even faints,
for the courts of the LORD;
my heart and my flesh cry out
for the living God.

Even the sparrow has found a home,
and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may have her young —
a place near your altar,
O LORD Almighty, my King and my God.

Ps 84:1-3 NIV

My nest emptied on Saturday. And yet those two birds have stopped by to pick up some things they left behind or just to say hello or to leave a hug. More birds have flocked to this retreat. Young birds with hungry tummies that I enjoy feeding from my store of food. Milk and juice and sandwiches with fruit and veggie sticks and hot cocoa with sweet treats. Breakfast, lunch and dinner today! What a glorious time of gathering in, playing or watching a film or creating something special to remind us of today.

Words exchanged. Hopes kindled. Thoughts mulled over. Meals served. All these moments in a nest make it a cozy and welcome lodging. I am glad to be home. I embrace winter, even the wind-chilled arctic cold breezing through the house as I remind the young birds to close the door behind them. My bares toes freezing, but my heart melting because my nest isn’t empty after all.

Fallow: The Tilling of Land without Sowing it for a Season

2012-01-09T09:48:00.000-06:00

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven . . .” (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

"A field that has rested gives a bountiful harvest." Ovid.

I am not a farmer, but the idea of a fallow field intrigues me. There is purpose to leaving a field fallow. In its simplest sense fallow means plowed land, but why it is plowed seems to be of some importance. It is not plowed for planting, but for resting.

Christmastide ended on January 6th with the celebration of the Feast of Epiphany. We have now entered Ordinary Time. Winter beckons. A season of rest appeals to me. Usually, I lament the passing of winter, chafing for spring, longing for summer and harvest time. But this year I am content, there is a deep yearning for Sabbath. Not hibernating, but recuperating, allowing my soul time and space to breathe. This is my season to prepare for cultivation and growth, so that in the summer I may flourish and in autumn reap a bountiful harvest.

Today, January 9, 2012, I am declaring for myself a season of simplicity, frugality and tenacity of purpose. In forty-five days, the season of Lent will arrive. During these days, I intend to stay home more, to drive less, to invite friends over for coffee in my kitchen, instead of Starbucks, as well as to read, reflect and blog. I am proclaiming a sabbatical of sorts, not a pilgrimage to the monastery, but a cloistering in my home and my heart in order to prepare my provisions to take possession of the next season of life (Joshua 1:10-11).

My nest is empty, my English degree is complete, my words are published, my life is wide open for New Frontiers. New Frontiers will be a God initiated movement toward authenticity in my own life, which I hope will overflow and inspire the same for others. It may look like a blog site with daily thoughts or coffee on Thursday mornings in my kitchen or collage art or a day retreat or another book. This frontier of my life has yet to be explored and documented.

As you feel drawn into the adventure of living, won’t you join me on this journey of knowing God and sharing His grace with others?

For now this initiative will look like a fallow field. No growth, just resting and waiting for spring planting. In the meantime, the weeds will be frozen out and the soil will soak up the winter moisture.

In coming days, I desire to blog about God, words and other interesting topics. Stay attentive to Nourishment for the Soul. A place to feed on words, as we embrace the solace of Winter.

Near: In a Close or Intimate Manner

2012-01-03T11:21:00.000-06:00

What joy for those you choose to bring near,

those who live in your holy courts.

What festivities await us

inside your holy Temple.

(Psalm 65:4 NLT)

“Happy You Near” (quote on a mailbox in our neighborhood, they have a magnetic message board attached to it. I love reading the quotes on the way to walk with my friends.)

We are nearing the end of Christmastide. In three days, the feast of Epiphany will be celebrated. The time when the church remembers that the Magi came from afar to be near a miracle. Their journey intrigues me. They studied the stars and by faith followed a significant star across many miles to confirm a prophecy.

Two short paragraphs in Matthew’s gospel recount the visit of the wise men. The details are sparse. He doesn’t say how long it took them to get to Jerusalem, just that they were from the east and had travelled there. They were looking for a king and wanted to worship him. They found a king ruling who said he wanted to worship this king as well, but he was not telling the truth. He was jealous of this newborn king, so insanely jealous that he slaughters many children to secure his own future. This tragic event darkens the retelling of Jesus’ birth. I can never justify or explain this adequately to myself.

So instead I focus on the pageantry and majesty of an entourage of learned men and their caravan of camels loaded with provisions for their journey. Marveling at their faith, their perseverance and their generosity as they arrive to venerate the baby king, to worship with what they have and to draw near to one promised to save all mankind from their sins.

It’s just the beginning. As this year unfolds, I want to draw near to the one who came to save. To bring my questions and ponder why pain and joy coincide over and over again. I may never make sense of the paradox of a baby becoming a king or a king dying on a cross for His subjects, but I do know I want to experience, understand and worship Him with all the faith, perseverance and generosity of the Magi.

Cradle: To Support Protectively or Intimately

2011-12-28T20:11:00.001-06:00

“He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;
he gently leads those that have young.” (Isaiah 40:11 NIV)

“Christmas is meant to take us to the level of spiritual maturity where we are capable of seeing in a manger the meaning of an empty tomb. It is meant to enable us to see through the dark days of life to the stars beyond them.” (The Liturgical Year, Joan Chittister)

The days after Christmas often leave me at a loss. A darkness overshadows the recent joys of the season. This year I planned to avoid the post-Christmas blues. I would observe Christmastide or the Twelve Days of Christmas, continuing the feast until its culmination on January 6th, Epiphany. After three days, my observations have been fairly mundane. I wrote down the gifts of each day—the moments that stood out, while practicing thanksgiving in all things. I found myself enjoying home, running errands and visiting with friends.

As I drove around today in a low energy mode, pushing myself to finish the errands, I kept asking God what do I need? I haven’t been very hungry for His word. My mind wanted a break from thinking.

After returning home from errands, the high intensity of the past six weeks caught up with me. I began to wonder how I would make it through the dark days of winter. I wanted to be cradled, to be held close and to rest. So I took a nap.
When I woke up, I was drawn back to my intention to observe Christmastide. To take time to sit quietly with God. Silently. No words needed. Enjoying the twinkling lights on the tree, brewing a cup of coffee, snuggling up with a blanket on the couch to be cradled by the Presence of God. Reminding myself that it is perfectly fine to have no agenda right now. Permission to rest, to breathe and to enjoy the moments of each day.

Today I choose to celebrate the glory, which started in a cradle, albeit a feeding trough, and culminnated on the cross and ultimately was revealed through the empty tomb.

Birth: To Bring Forth

2011-12-25T08:03:00.000-06:00

“And the glory (majesty and splendor) of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together; for the mouth of the Lord has spoken it.” (Isaiah 40:5 AMP)

“And the Word (Christ) became flesh (human, incarnate) and tabernacled (fixed His tent of flesh, lived awhile) among us; and we [actually] saw His glory (His honor, His majesty), such glory as an only begotten son receives from his father, full of grace (favor, loving-kindness) and truth.”

(John 1:14 AMP)

“My Son has set you free to love, to believe that I am good and that the good story I am telling is unfolding under His control. Faith in Me and hope for tomorrow free you to love today. And loving with divine power releases a kind of joy into your soul that nothing else can bring.” (God’s Love Letters to You, Dr. Larry Crabb)

Marvelous morning. After a night of laboring, a child is born. It often happens this way; the mother goes to the hospital with contractions close together. The staff settles her in her bed, and then the waiting and the breathing and the groaning begin. Sometimes things slow down for awhile, and then the pain increases, the pressure builds and after a fair amount of pushing— love gushes out. Joy comes in the morning.

Here we are, we have arrived at Christmas. We can welcome the memory of Jesus’ birth in its fullest. But He was not only born, He lived and loved. He dwelt among us. And through the Holy Spirit dwells with us still. My soul is overwhelmed within me. A supernatural, miraculous wonder and awe overtake the quiet moments of early morning before anyone else in the household rises. I am alone with my Savior, our Savior.

I am drawn to the nativity. Figurines set out on tables to remind us that Jesus was born. It was recorded, His parents pondered Him, the shepherds proclaimed Him and the Magi proceeded by a star entered the scene to give Him the honor due his birth.

Can you believe it? Will you embrace this good story? The hope, the joy, the peace and the love transcend anything our minds can comprehend. Yet there is a place in us in our hearts, souls, spirits, minds and even our bodies where faith wells up and needs to be expressed. A desire, a longing that no words adequately express.

Silently, with tears brimming in my eyes, I marvel at this Birth.

2011-12-25T07:57:00.000-06:00

For unto us a Child is Born!

Clean: Free From Dirt

2011-12-22T20:02:00.001-06:00

“Create in me a clean heart, O God,

And renew a steadfast spirit within me.”

(Psalm 51:10 NKJV)

“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up

is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.” (Phyllis Diller)

Today I tackled a long neglected task: deep cleaning the family room. We are expecting guests over the Christmas holiday, so I am motivated. I started in one corner moving furniture to the opposite side of the room. About halfway down the wall with windows, we have a AC/heating unit. I figured since I was deep cleaning, I should take out the filters to vacuum them.

It never ceases to amaze me how much dust, dirt and animal hair can accumulate in these filters. I looked a little closer and realized I should take the front cover off to clean inside the unit. After I was done I wiped the vents with antibacterial cleaner. It felt good to know that I might ward off some germs and allergies by taking the extra time with the unit. I spent all day cleaning and rearranging the furniture to be ready for Christmas. This kind of cleaning is exhausting, but satisfying.

Whenever I encounter this neglected dirt in my cleaning ventures, I think about the how the dust and dirt silently accumulates. Then I think about the subtlety of sin. Sometimes I’m too busy to look deeper. But just like the filters on the AC/heater, which need routine cleaning, I need to regularly bring my heart before God and ask for His cleansing forgiveness.

I wonder how much longer the unit could have kept going with all that dirt. And now that it's clean, I hope it runs more efficiently. My life would run so much smoother if I spent regular time asking God to search my heart. Since I accomplished so much today in the house, I am thinking tomorrow I will spend some extra time with God to examine my heart and make sure it’s ready for Christmas, too.

Haste: Eagerness to Act

2011-12-20T06:56:00.000-06:00

And in the same region there were shepherds out in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them,
and they were filled with fear. (Luke 2:8-9 ESV)

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,
"Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!" (Luke 2:13-14 ESV)

When the angels went away from them into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let us go over to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has made known to us."

And they went with haste . . . (Luke 2:15-16 ESV)

As Christmas approaches, my heart is beating faster. This past Sunday, our pastor asked us to reenter the story with a fresh perspective. Eyes to see. Ears to hear. Hearts to comprehend. An invitation to welcome Christmas once again.

We watch with the shepherds as they encounter the glory of God. Great fear and trembling overcomes them. The mighty messenger angel calms their fears. And just as they are beginning to recover, ten thousands of thousands, a multitude of more angels proclaims the greatest news—“A Savior has been born in Bethlehem! Just like God said! All glory and honor and praise and majesty be unto His name!”

The angels part just as suddenly as they appeared. The shepherds have seen the glory of God! Their hearts race, their minds whir and their bodies move. They make haste. “Let’s go see this thing!” And the thing they find—A mother and a father with a baby lying in a manger. This thing that happened was made known to them by God, to mere shepherds whom no one would even ask to represent them on the witness stand in a law of court.

But God. God chooses them to be His first witnesses, the first ones to hear the good news proclaimed and see it fulfilled— the first ones to testify to the world: “We have seen our Savior. We have been in the presence of God. He has been born among us.”

The shepherds return to their flocks. Praising and glorifying. Hooting and hollering. Causing a stir in the community: “Will wonders never cease?” Causing a mother to ponder and treasure: “Can it be that my God should be born for me?”

Calm: A Period or Condition of Freedom from Storms

2011-12-19T09:08:00.001-06:00

“And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, "Peace! Be still!" And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.” Mark 4:39 ESV

Sudden

Trials

Overtake us.

Raging through us with

Much fear.

Stifling our Peace.

Christ speaks with

Authority,

Leaving in His wake

More faith.

A storm of tasks overwhelm me as a face today. I grab Jesus Calling and the words calm me: “If you focus too much on these…tasks, trying to get them all out of the way, you will discover they are endless…Seek My Face continually throughout this day. Let My Presence bring order to your thoughts, infusing Peace into your entire being” (Young). My shoulders relax and I take a deep breath, ready for another day.

As I read through the gospel of Mark, another storm catches my attention. Jesus and his disciples are moving around Galilee, so one night they climb into a boat to cross over to the next town. A storm pops up producing great fear in the disciples. Jesus sleeps. The disciples frantically poke him, crying “Don’t you care? Wake up! Do something! We’re going to die!” Jesus rises. He rebukes the wind, “Peace! Be still!” Immediately calm returns, a great calm.

Silent awe fills the scene, and then Jesus rebukes again. This time he addresses the disciples, “Now are you afraid? Don’t you know me yet? Where is your faith?” The rebuke stings, yet they marvel and talk among themselves, “Such authority! Can you believe this? Who is this man?” Jesus restores their rest, their natural fear ceases and their faith has been reinforced. What a storm of emotions must have been rippling through their hearts and minds, yet reverent respect overrides every other thought or feeling to take hold of their hearts.

Jesus appeared to be sleeping through their storm. But as soon as they run to Him and wake Him, He sets everything back in order. I find it hard to understand this aspect of the story. Maybe it was just a lesson for the disciples to strengthen their faith at this point in their relationship. I think it is hard to admit that sometimes, it feels like Jesus isn’t paying attention to our circumstances. But He is present. And for some reason, He waits for us to rouse Him into action. Jesus’ life remains a paradox, sleeping yet alert.

Hope: To Cherish a Desire with Anticipation

2011-12-15T20:25:00.001-06:00

“For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” (Romans 8:24-25 ESV)

Having
Our
Perspective
Eternally Focused!

This morning I woke up with great hopes of accomplishing everything for Christmas and more. Since I have finished with school stuff, I was gearing up to dive into the Christmas rush. I almost fell for that trap, but instead I retreated to the quiet of my couch to read the devotionals scattered on the coffee table, asking God for a word. A word to keep me focused on Advent. I opened Jesus Calling and read words of hope:

Your longing for heaven is good, because it is an extension of your yearning for Me. The hope of heaven is meant to strengthen you, filling you with wondrous Joy . . . the phrase hope of heaven highlights the benefits you can enjoy even while remaining on earth. This hope keeps you spiritually alive during the dark times of adversity; it brightens your path and heightens your awareness of My Presence. (Young 366)

Then I picked up God’s Love Letters to You, and the theme continued:

If you could see right now what is happening in the unseen world, you would be filled with hope. . . The hope I provide anchors a weary, empty, troubled soul . . . Beneath difficult feelings, hope encourages by giving you reason to persevere with the joy of anticipation. Happiness depends on present blessing, which I do not guarantee. Joy depends on future hope, which I do guarantee. Do not expect to feel good. You may. You may not. My work of hope reaches into the center of your soul to strengthen your character and deepen your resolve in any circumstance of life. (Crabb 56)

Rich thoughts to chew on. I want my life to be more and more marked by hope, rather than despairing about what I think I don’t have. I will still get caught up in the moment, but I want to do it with an eye to the future planned by Jesus. That future where we all get to live with Him forever in heaven, no longer prisoners of this temporal world. Maranatha! Come, Lord Jesus, Come!

Embrace: To Clasp in the Arms; Cherish

2011-12-14T21:14:00.002-06:00

The Lord God is my Strength, my personal bravery, and my invincible army; He makes my feet like hinds' feet and will make me to walk [not to stand still in terror, but to walk] and make [spiritual] progress upon my high places [of trouble, suffering, or responsibility]! (Habakkuk 3:19 AMP)

“Know this: those who live by faith will struggle in ways that those who live to make their lives work will never know. It is that struggle, to believe despite desperate pain and confusion that a good plan is unfolding, that will open your eyes to see Me more clearly.” (God’s Love Letters to You, Dr. Larry Crabb)

Habakkuk is one of my favorite minor prophets. I could just hug him for being so real. By the way, his name means “Embraced by God.” Habakkuk prophesied judgment upon Israel, not a pleasant task. Everything was falling apart. Yet he rejoices in God! He knows God is his strength. He knew how to worship God. He ends his book with a song, lamenting the situation, and yet his song concludes by rejoicing in God!

In the Amplified version, the first verse gives direction to how to approach this prayer song: “A PRAYER of Habakkuk the prophet set to wild, enthusiastic, and triumphal music” (Habakkuk 3:1 AMP). His faith rocked!

The disparity of good and evil around him caused him anguish, but he wasn’t afraid to ask God questions. His faith was bolstered by thinking deeply; he had to ponder hard questions. In the Literary Study Bible, Ryken mentions that Habakkuk was a philosopher of sorts. His oracles reflect “the branch of philosophy known as theodicy (reconciling God’s goodness toward the human race and his omnipotence, considered within a context of evil and suffering)” (1413). As the narrative of Habakkuk unfolds, he remonstrates with God over the pain and injustice he witnesses, then God answers. After their dialogue, Habakkuk pens his prayer song.

As I contemplate the coming of Jesus into our sin tainted world, I marvel at His courage to live among us in order to embrace our flesh, to suffer our punishment, to experience death and resurrection so that we might be reconciled and embraced by Him. Marvelous, matchless love!

Ponder: To Think or Consider Quietly, Soberly, and Deeply

2011-12-13T22:11:00.000-06:00

“Great are the works of the LORD; they are pondered by all who delight in them.”
(Psalm 111:2 NIV)

“And all men shall [reverently] fear and be in awe; and they will declare the work of God, for they will wisely consider and acknowledge that it is His doing.” (Psalm 64:9 AMP)

“But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” (Luke 2:19 NIV)

What are you pondering these days? I am in awe of all that God has been accomplishing in and around me this Advent season. Today I finished my last two papers and my last ever final exam as an undergraduate. I really just wanted to suggest today that you ponder the Goodness and Grace of God as we continue this season of welcoming Christmas. Maybe tomorrow, I will have something more profound to offer once I ponder for awhile.

Hurry: Disturbed or Disorderly Activity

2011-12-12T08:35:00.004-06:00

“. . . those who hope in me will not be disappointed.” (Isaiah 43:29b NIV)

“Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7 NLT)

Having

Unrealistic

Reasons to

Run

Yourself Ragged

Christ

Alone

Lessens

My Anxiety

“Hurry up! Hurry up! Only 13 days until Christmas!” This is what my internal holiday clock mutters to me this morning. I want to yell back, “Don’t remind me! I know, I know!” But the Holy Spirit quietly hushes me during this rush of anxious thoughts. “Just enjoy today. Watch and see what I am going to accomplish. Trust me.”

God’s not in a hurry, so why am I? He has faithfully ordered my previous days and He will direct me this day as well. Yet, it is a constant exchange of confessing my anxiety and yielding to the reassuring presence and peace of Christ. I must place my hope in God once again, asking Him to remind me that there is only one thing that really matters. Sitting at the feet of Jesus, while He settles my heart in His presence, inviting me to sing praises to His name and soaking up His peace. Only then will I be ready to face the day ahead.

Whatever tasks loom before me, like final papers and final exams and Christmas shopping, I will trust God to help me finish. He never disappoints! He always comes through, and even if I feel frazzled or fear failure, His love never fails.

For now it is time to play Christmas carols and worship Him, as I move forward into the work of this day, not tomorrow or next week, but just today. May His calming Holy Spirit breathe peace as you live out this day.

Rest: Peace of Mind or Spirit

2011-12-08T09:06:00.000-06:00

"Cease striving and know that I am God . . .” (Ps 46:10a NASB)

Remember to
Enjoy and Absorb.
Stop
Trying so Hard.

Relax.
Enjoy.
Surrender
Time.

Why is it so hard to rest? We were designed to rest. Jesus said, “The Sabbath was made on account of and for the sake of man…” (Mark 2:27 AMP). This comforts me. God is not asking me to fill every moment of my life with activity. He wants me to take time off from worrying and fussing.

As I approach the end of this semester, this journey of going back to school for personal development, I marvel at all I have learned. I could tell you all my new knowledge about literature or how I survived College Algebra. Yet my greatest lessons had to do with trusting God, which included learning how to rest, how to surrender time to Him.

This semester especially, I kept hearing the gentle call to rest, to absorb, to enjoy the content. To not try so hard at getting it right and getting the perfect grade. This idea applies to any aspect of our lives. Why do I think that I control time? Time is God’s gift, and when I realize this, my life has more peace and less anxiety.

The gospels show Jesus resting in a way that reflects His Father’s intentions for the Sabbath. He healed, He modeled love and He even ate with His disciples. Rest doesn’t always mean inactivity, but it does cultivate a confident trust in God’s ability to calm and provide everything in His time.

As the Christmas season often pushes us into frenzy, I want to invite you to rest. To take some time to reflect on the goodness of God. To follow Jesus, who is “Lord even of the Sabbath.” (Mark 2:28)

Sin: A State of Human Nature in Which the Self is Estranged from God

2011-12-07T09:12:00.003-06:00

Interesting statistic that popped up on my screen when I was looking up the definition of sin: "Sin is currently in the top 40% of lookups on Merriam-Webster.com."

“She will bear a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus . . . for He will save His people from their sins [that is, prevent them from failing and missing the true end and scope of life, which is God].” (Matthew 1:21 AMP)

Saying, Shouting, Screaming—
“I don’t
Need God!”

What does sin have to do with Christmas? Everything! The very reason Jesus was born. It’s not a pleasant thought. I’d rather think about decorating the house and sip coffee while listening to Christmas carols. Yet all around me suffering screams out for notice. I can’t ignore that something is horribly wrong. Life is painful, yet I put so much energy into avoiding this truth or finding relief.

Sin and evil are real. A friend recently explained that evil is the lack of the intended good. This really pierced my heart. It could be easy enough to point out the evil of others, but God in His grace points the finger back at me. I have a moral evil in my heart that needs to be eradicated. Yes, Jesus has saved me from sin, but the struggle remains to resist sinful choices, attitudes and even behavior.

Frustration reveals my lack of trust. Anger indicates a loss of love. Selfishness is the fear of lacking recognition, affirmation and validation of who I am. The list could go on, but it is helpful for me to think about how each sin points to a lack that was intended goodness. Contemplating this truth changes my mind when I am faced with temptation to sin, to offend, to tell God “I don’t need YOU!”

Sin is the foolish belief that I can make my own life better or good.

God’s love brings to my attention my ingrained tendency to refuse Him. His grace reaches out and asks me to trust Him with the struggle of living.

Today's reading from God’s Love Letters to You gives me hope as I face the truth that sin is real:

No matter how great your pain or how confusing and intense your suffering, live in the mystery of My love. Struggle to trust me.

Do not live with the priority of making your life in this world as good as you can make it. You will suffer, at times unfairly, but you will be given what you need to enter strongly and wisely with supernatural love into every circumstance you face.

Doing so will be your joy, your hope and you deepest fulfillment now as you look forward to a world where every child runs and laughs. (Crabb)

Story: An Account of Incidents or Events

2011-12-05T20:48:00.000-06:00

“If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.”
(Groucho Marx)

"For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord.

And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men." (Luke 2:11-14 KJV)

I love to keep a journal. This is the place where I recount my day, where I daydream about the future, basically where I keep track of my story. I also like to collage. Rip pictures and words from magazines that inspire me and then glue them down to enjoy the serendipity and meaning that I might glean from the new arrangement. For Advent, I decided to join these two loves. The pictures and the words prompt me to write and reflect on something new.

On the page I opened for today was pasted the word...story.

Something about that word just warms my heart. Give me a good story and all is well. Maybe that’s what I love about the Bible; it’s full of good stories. In it we meet all kinds of people and situations. As I mentioned before I am reading a daily devotion that has thoughts related to each book of the Bible written in the form of a love letter from God. Today the reading was from one of the most romantic stories of the Bible—Ruth.

Girl meets boy. Boy falls in love with girl. They get married and live happily ever after. Not that they didn't have to overcome quite a few obstacles to get to this ending. Part of the happy ending is that they become the ancestors of the central figure of Scripture—Jesus. The reading in the devotional shed a little different light on what a happy ending means:

“Ruth’s life is a they-all-lived-happily-ever after story, but it is not a parable of My power to make life comfortable; it is a parable of My power to make people holy. Know this: holiness and only holiness brings joy. No problem in your life, whether difficult problems such as disadvantages and loss, or agreeable problems, such as wealth, can stop My plan. Faith and hope together release love. And love is holiness. Hear what I’m saying in this love letter: no matter how dark the world around you, no matter how difficult the world inside you, My plan [love] overcomes all obstacles…” (God's Love Letters to You, Dr. Larry Crabb)

Love conquers all. Love never fails. Let’s enter the greatest love story all over again as we contemplate the coming of Jesus as a babe, and ultimately as the Lover of our Souls.

Gift: A Notable Capacity

2011-12-04T12:59:00.002-06:00

“Everything in life is most fundamentally a gift. And you receive it best, and you live it best,

by holding it with very open hands.” (Leo O’Donovan)

“I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil-this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it.

God does it so that men will revere him.” (Ecclesiastes 3:9-14 NIV)

Gift is a big word this time of year. What gift do you want for Christmas, we ask our loved ones? Sometimes I hint at what gift I’d like. Gifts are good. They express our love and concern and creativity.

We are born with a notable capacity for living. This is gift.

Today I was contemplating the difference between accepting gifts and demanding them. I want health. I want rest. I want blessing. But am I willing to settle for none of these. I am willing to embrace God alone. This is hard. I am needy. I like material things. I enjoy food. I desire appreciation and companionship. But if all these were taken away, would I still think my life was a gift?

What is the notable capacity of life? To love, this is the burden God has laid on us. To love is to give. This is indeed one of the hardest things God asks of us, of me. Will I love this Christmas? How can I rest in His love and know it is enough? These are the questions I am asking today.

Feast: Something That Gives Unusual or Abundant Enjoyment

2011-12-03T18:52:00.000-06:00

“These are the LORD's appointed feasts,

the sacred assemblies you are to proclaim at their appointed times.”

(Leviticus 23:4 NIV)

Last Sunday inaugurated a new year. The new liturgical year or as some call it the church calendar starts with Advent. My welcoming of this holy season has been slow. In between resting from a cold and going to classes, I snatch a few moments here and there to contemplate the upcoming feast of Christmas. Remembering, recounting, retelling the beautiful story of a child born into our world brings comfort to my soul.

We will be feasting on favorite foods, traditional candies and cookies and the home baked gifts from friends. Sharing food together brings abundant enjoyment. Today I had the joy of going with a dear friend to a farmers’ market. The fresh produce stacked on tables, colorful cauliflower of orange, white and violet; along with homemade pies and fresh roasted coffee beans were available. We each bought a bunch of carrots. We sampled the coffee and chatted with the vendors like new found, yet old friends. I bought a small pear apple pie to feast on tonight with my family.

These are the sweet little feasts that bring me material joy. In the same sense, I desire little feasts for my spirit and for yours this season, like lingering on a portion of Scripture that draws us closer to the heart of God or offering a little devotional book to hold in our hands. I want to stir up an appetite for the goodness of God and feasting on His grace, instead of the gloom and worries of life. May we often take refuge from the hustle and bustle of the world pressing in around us. To enjoy the blessing of presence, the sharing of a meal and celebrating the Giver, these are my idea of a feast.

Announce: To Give Notice of the Arrival, Presence, or Readiness Of

2011-12-02T10:07:00.001-06:00

Now in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin's name was Mary. And having come in, the angel said to her,"Rejoice, highly favored one, the Lord is with you; blessed are you among women!"

But when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and considered what manner of greeting this was.

(Luke 1:26-29 NKJV)

Yesterday I was greeted with an unusual message on the refrigerator white board: “Viva La Revolucion!” I wondered at it, and also noticed the Scripture reference: 1 Timothy 4:12. I looked it up to see what was behind the announcement of this revolution in our home, it says, “Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.” I figured the message at youth group must have really moved the messenger’s heart and he felt compelled to announce it publicly.

It wasn’t until the afternoon, when the younger son came home that the revelation of this revolution was to become clearer. Over pancakes at a local restaurant the night before, the older son and the younger son with a friend discussed the idea of getting an apartment together in January. This was a sudden announcement for me. We had been telling the boys that they needed to move out in the future because they are in their twenties now and they have decent jobs. To be honest the reality of this declaration hasn’t quite sunk in yet, but their readiness to move forward delights my heart. They want to band together with other young believers and be an example in conduct and service to the body of Christ.

I am thankful for their resolve to live dedicated lives, yet their revolution impacts my world. This morning as I was thinking of their announcement other pending news overwhelmed my heart. Soon I will be sending out the announcement of my graduation from college and the birth of a book (I go to pick up the self-published fruits of this labor of love today!) My life is changing rapidly, but in so many good ways. I also am looking forward to the arrival of my sister and her four kids after Christmas to spend a season in St. Louis.

This good news thrills my heart. Yet I have to consider the impact these events will have on my current perspective of life. These ponderings brought to mind Mary, the mother of Jesus, as her world was changed with the most amazing news ever! She was to give birth to God’s son! Now, that’s a revolution!

As we consider the good news announced by Gabriel to Mary and to the multitude of angels to the shepherds, may our hearts thrill with the announcement that God is With Us, even now, through the Presence of His Holy Spirit. God wants a revolution in our heart that will overflow with love, joy and peace toward others. Will you join me in observing this Christmas as a beginning of something new and revolutionary? Will we be willing once again to announce the birth of Jesus Christ as the most wonderful news ever? “Viva La Incarnation! Spread the Love of Jesus!” and "Glory to God in the Highest!"

Celebrate: To Observe a Notable Occasion with Festivities

2011-11-30T21:07:00.001-06:00

“They will celebrate your abundant goodness

and joyfully sing of your righteousness.”

(Psalm 145:7 NIV)

Come with
Eternal Hallelujahs!
Lauding
El-Shaddai!
Bring loud
Rejoicing
And
Tambourine!
Enter in!

One way to welcome Christmas is to celebrate. As the years go by, and as our family has grown up, our celebrations have transformed. As a young wife and mother, I wanted traditions to observe that would be just ours. Advent piqued my interest as it was a new tradition for me.

I remember making my first Advent wreath out of greenery, votive candles arranged in a wreath form and a single candlestick for the white Christ candle. My husband and I lit the candles each Sunday and read from Christ in Christmas: A Family Advent Celebration. Later when the boys were big enough they would fight over who got to blow out the candles. We did the crafts and activities that went along with the readings.

A couple years ago, each one of us took a Sunday sharing a Scripture and devotional thought. The last year or two it has been harder to gather together. And just when I think that some traditions have been outgrown, I find out that my twenty-one year old son still wants a chocolate Advent calendar to count the days until Christmas.

In a moment of feeling “better” from my cold, I ran around town this afternoon to find him one. But they were sold out. Not to be discouraged, I came up with an alternative. I found chocolate foil wrapped ornaments. I decided to pull out our little tabletop tree and decorated it with the candy. I had another little tree, which I decorated for our twenty-three old, so he won’t feel left out.

I have a sweet little arrangement on the buffet. It’s starting to feel a little more like Christmas around here. I also dusted off the Christmas music, which is playing in the background even now. It’s time to celebrate! Let the festivities begin!

Amplify: Increase the Volume Of

2011-11-29T10:30:00.000-06:00

“He will bring us goodness and light. . .”

from Do You Hear What I Hear?

(Felix Bernard and Richard B. Smith)

“And let them make Me a sanctuary, that I may dwell among them.” (Exodus 25:8 NKJV)

It is the third day into the Advent season and I haven’t dug out my Christmas music yet. What is wrong with me? I am taking a little longer this year to warm up to my usual Christmas traditions. I am between two worlds—finishing my degree and welcoming Christmas.

My student status soon comes to an end. I am thankful. It was a lifelong dream to go to college, and even though I waited until my forties, it has been a great experience. Yet I am ready to move on to a new season. The thing with going to school is that you have to squeeze your regular life in around the academic schedule. Amazingly every year Christmas still gets celebrated, and I carve out moments of reflection between reading text and writing papers.

As this season ends, my prayer is that God would amplify Himself and His word in my life. I need to hear from Him. I want to see His goodness in the land of the living. I have seen Him as a student, but now I want to experience a fresh measure of what He has in store. I am expectant.

Today in my Advent journey, the book of the Bible highlighted in the devotion was Exodus. The subtitle gave this invitation: Consider The Lengths I Go To, Just to Be With You. Isn’t this invitation the essence of Christmas? Let’s consider the length, breadth, height and width of His love together this year.

Grouse: Complain; Grumble

2011-11-28T20:58:00.001-06:00

“An inward grouse is a devastating thing.” Amy Carmichael

Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise:

be thankful unto him, and bless his name.

For the Lord is good; his mercy is everlasting;

and his truth endureth to all generations.

Psalm 100:4-5 KJV

Thanksgiving comes but once a year, yet I desire to cultivate a thankful heart the whole year through. It’s not easy. I came down with a whopper of a cold over Thanksgiving break. My tendency is to whine and moan between the fits of coughing. I’ve heard somewhere that it helps to thank God for the bad, as well as the good. But I heard even better advice today. Thank God for his goodness and grace.

This evening I watched The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. The transformation of the Grinch’s heart speaks to me of the transforming grace of Christ. The episode opens with the townspeople singing: "Welcome Christmas"

To welcome Christmas. . . that is what I’d like to do over the next few weeks. Will you join me?

It takes conscious effort to move from grousing to rejoicing. I know this from personal experience. Even this morning, I almost gave in to wallowing in self-pity. “Woe is me, I have a cold.” My plight is not unusual; probably the majority of us will have a cold this winter, as it is called the “common” cold.

Part of my complaint was common; I don’t have time to be sick. I got things to do: cleaning, studying, buying, decorating and apparently now—resting. I chafe against rest. If had pushed myself today, I wouldn’t have had time to reflect on the devastating effects of grumbling. I would have missed out on practicing the art of giving thanks on all occasions. So maybe I didn’t thank God for my cold, but I did thank Him for his goodness in reminding me that rest is an important part of life.

Usually I pick a devotional book that has daily readings for the Advent season. This year I picked up a book, I read earlier this year. It’s called God’s Love Letters to You: A 40-Day Devotional Experience written by Dr. Larry Crabb. Each day focuses on a different book in the Bible. Today was Genesis—a very good place to start—the beginning. Written from the first person perspective of God, the subtitle for today’s reading warms my heart: I Have a Plan: Trust Me. The devotion raises the question of why doesn’t God immediately relieve our pain. It didn’t answer the question, but gave me space to contemplate it. The last sentence offers food for thought: “You must live now in the tension between anguish and hope.” Again, I found no direct answer, but something to mull over. How can I live in this tension? Will I trust God’s plan?

My expectation after Thanksgiving was to gear up for the end of the semester at the highest speed possible, but my health has slowed me down. After a day of resting in God’s presence, reading books and ruminating on God’s words— I give thanks for His grace for this day.

I am ready to welcome Christmas at a pace that embraces the goodness of God.

Coming Soon!

2011-11-26T08:49:00.000-06:00

Kel Rohlf loves WORDS! In this little devotional book, she invites you to “see” God through definitions, Scriptures and everyday experiences. She points out ways to notice God more. So grab your Bible and a dictionary, and relish the adventure of Defining Moments Overflowing with Living Words.

Occasion: A Favorable Opportunity

2011-11-09T18:22:00.002-06:00

“Taste and see that the LORD is good.

Oh, the joys of those who trust in him!”

Psalm 34:8 NLT

photo by Kel Rohlf

“Don’t save anything for a special occasion.
Every day you’re alive is a special occasion.” (Unknown)

“If it’s worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and hear and do it now.” (Ann Wells)

What is it about keeping things for a special occasion? I have this beautiful museum quality journal that a dear friend bestowed upon me. It remains on my shelf. One of these days, I will put my most beautiful thoughts in there, right? Fine china collects dust in the buffet. Craft projects beckon to be finished. And I used to make homemade bread. Today on my drive home, I wondered why I’m waiting for a special time or uninterrupted life to do things that I enjoy.

I stopped by the grocery store for my weekly groceries and made sure to pick up some yeast. When I got home, after unloading the food, I searched the internet for a Pumpkin Yeast Bread recipe. Gathering the ingredients, pulling out my Kitchen aid mixer and preparing the dough took little time. While I puttered around the house the dough doubled in size in its bowl. I divided the dough into a loaf and twelve rolls to rise again. The process of waiting really didn’t hinder me from doing my usual meandering around the house checking email, working on a craft project and just relaxing. By dinner time the aroma of bread, ginger, pumpkin and cloves filled the house. I slathered butter on the tops of the rolls and bread. Then I munched on a roll as soon as it was cool enough to pop into my mouth. Mmm…so good!

Another thought that occurred to me this afternoon had to do with spending time in God’s presence through His word. Why do I keep looking for a particular Bible study? I keep searching for the perfect “read the Bible in a year” plan, but in my quest I neglect to read it at all. I read devotional books, snatching bites of the Word. Yet I long for a full course meal. My Bible intake comes in spurts or on special occasions like Sunday morning at church. I want more. I don’t want to save God’s word for certain occasions like celebrations and Bible studies. His word is my daily bread.

I am not sure how I will accomplish it, but I want to wake up tomorrow, grab my Bible along with my cereal bowl in order to savor God in the moment.

"For He says, "In the time of my favor I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you." I tell you, now is the time of God's favor , now is the day of salvation."

2 Corinthians 6:2 NIV

Sustain: To Give Support or Relief To

2011-11-02T09:41:00.002-05:00

Would your wealth

or even all your mighty efforts

sustain you so you would not be in distress?

Job 36:19 NIV

Your frustration with everything, including yourself, makes it possible to turn in deeper dependence [upon God]. Your weariness requires the strength of supernatural love to continue serving [God]. Your haunting sense of futility shuts you up to a kind of endurance that can be sustained only with hope in [Jesus’] return.

God’s Love Letters to You, Dr. Larry Crabb

Restore to me the joy of your salvation

and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

Psalm 51:12 NIV

How can it be November already? I am in the last weeks of my final semester at UM-St. Louis, looking ahead to the freedom from the pressure of meeting deadlines. Amazingly, I feel fairly calm. God has sustained me thus far, what will keep Him from continuing to do so? I will rest in His faithfulness.

Even though I am not facing a major trial, I find myself facing common frustrations of daily living. Like, when will my house ever be clutter free? I dread the weariness of waiting for the next season. And often, I am taunted by the futility of organizing and reorganizing my life, my stuff and my schedule. The mundane seems harder to manage than the unknown future.

Lately God has been pressing my heart about a tendency to seek blessings instead of His presence. He confronts me about my practice of thanking Him for things, rather than expressing a deep gratitude for forgiveness and grace. He reminds me that joy comes from experiencing His salvation, more than from the comfortable pleasures of this life.

These human experiences of frustration, weariness and futility come upon us like labor pains. We want to them to cease, but if they do, we will not be brought to maturity. Instead, we need to breathe through the pain in order to experience joy of relying on God’s strength. Remember, weeping lasts for the night, but joy comes in the morning! How I long for the morning when Jesus shall return and take us from this weary world. Until then, I will depend on His sustenance.

Whether I am struggling, suffering or sliding through life with ease, I need God to sustain me. Only His love can keep me from despair. Hope pours into me through the Holy Spirit. His word nourishes me. Will I give up my own striving, and rest in His presence?

Capacious: Able to Contain Much; Roomy

2011-10-10T14:28:00.001-05:00

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times,

having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

2 Corinthians 9:8 NIV

“Unbelief fixes its gaze on men, and things, and likelihoods and possibilities and circumstances. Faith will not concern herself with these; she refuses to spend her time and waste her strength in considering them. Her eye is on her Lord; and she is persuaded; that He is well able to supply all her need, and to carry her through all difficulties and straits.” (F.B. Meyer, The Shepherd Psalm)

One day I was journaling to God about how incapable I felt, especially regarding the work load this semester. In His gentle way, He reminded me that He was able and capable. While I was looking up the word capable in my handy dictionary, I came upon the adjective: capacious. Struck by the immensity of this one word’s meaning, I found a new way to describe God. This word was big enough to encompass all of God’s character.

Now that I know this word, I have a new lease on life. When I start feeling inadequate, because really I am; I say “God, You are Capacious!” I smile to myself because the word feels like a made up word. But it’s not. It sounds like capable and spacious merged together. And then I laugh because God is spacious; there’s so much room in His love. And God is capable of accomplishing so much more than I ever could imagine.

I am experiencing His capacious love, grace and strength on a daily basis. I am often juggling homework, housework and heart work. I recognize my limitations. But I rejoice that God can contain so much more than I can. Sometimes I believe He purposely places us in a situation, where we have to rely on his capacious nature. Won’t you enter into His presence, and just see how roomy God really is? He’s waiting for you and for me.

Idolize: To Love or Admire to Excess

2011-09-18T19:43:00.001-05:00

Therefore, my dearly beloved, shun (keep clear away from, avoid by flight if need be) any sort of idolatry (of loving or venerating anything more than God). 1 Corinthians 10:14 AMP

“My future husband was becoming to me my whole world; and more than the world: almost my hope of heaven. He stood between me and every thought of religion, as an eclipse intervenes between man and the broad sun. I could not, in those days, see God for his creature: of whom I had made an idol.”

(Jane speaking of Mr. Rochester in Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte)

“. . . I was very sad for Hindley’s sake; he had room in his heart only for two idols—his wife and himself: he doted on both, and adored one, and I couldn’t conceive how he would bear the loss.”

(Ellen Dean speaking of Hindley in Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte)

Idolatry is a tough topic. It is not the first sin I tend to confess, when I sense my spiritual life is suffering. It’s easy enough to admit pride or telling a lie, but I do not want to be identified as an idolater. And it is even dangerous to mention this because some may argue with me that a true follower of Christ cannot be an idolater. However, I am not talking about a lifestyle of idolatry. I am referring to a tendency of mine to place more affection on other people, other things and even on my own need for comfort and contentment than on God.

In my literary “travels” this semester, I keep coming across narratives that point out the downfall of idolatry is a person’s life. Jane Eyre admits that her love for Mr. Rochester has consumed her to the point she neglects God. Hindley, one character in Wuthering Heights, so idolizes his wife that after her death, he neglects his son, his estate and his own well-being by choosing a life of dissipation. Wuthering Heights is a case study for the demise of those who idolize others. Heathcliff resents everyone because he can’t have his idol. Edgar won’t confront Catherine, after she becomes his wife, which I believe is a direct result of his fear of offending the woman he idolizes. Those are just the major examples of idolatry in the novel. In some of my other readings, people become so consumed with the beauty of another character that they miss out on a healthy relationship with the person.

I understand their dilemma—the physical presence of perceived perfection in another person eases my ache for something that will completely satisfy. From the beginning God commanded us not to partake in idolatry. It is interesting that one of the Hebrew words for idol can mean “worthless” (Mounce). Anything that takes our affection from God is worthless. Even if it seems that the person, thing or achievement gives us a fleeting sense of value, in the end it will disappoint. God is the only one who keeps his promise to always satisfy.

Early in our marriage I did idolize my husband, and when we were separated for seven months due to his military service, I was devastated. I literally couldn’t function. My mom came to live with me to help me with our son, and I sought counsel and support from other believers. It was in Les' absence that I realized that I had placed my hope in a man, rather than in God. Let me say something else here, the person we idolize is under immense pressure to live up to our expectations. Putting them on a pedestal sets them up for a fall, because they are incapable of loving us exactly like God.

Idolatry is subtle, and can manifest itself in many forms. It occurred to me the other day that sometimes my concern for others can become idolatrous, especially when I think I can offer them the kind of help only God can. I am neither all-powerful, nor ever-present, and it is foolish for me to act like I can offer that kind of relationship to another person. Yet I find myself doing this over and over again, until God humbles me, and shows me that I have become actually quite arrogant in thinking that I can “fix” someone else. And even more insidiously, I believe they need my help, and I’m the only one who can offer it. This is painful to admit, but a relief when God gently rebukes me, and reminds me of my limits.

Lest this become a depressing topic, may I invite you to flee idolatry in order to pursue God. He, like the father waiting for his prodigal son, waits each day for us to realize our blunder and to run home to Him.

I'll leave you with a quote speaking of our essential need for God in our lives: “All eternity is held in one moment in Your presence, and all of time is empty apart from Your fellowship.” (Frances J. Roberts)

Direct (Adj.): Frank; Straight-Forward

2011-09-06T10:13:00.000-05:00

“Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my thoughts.

Point out anything in me that offends you,
and lead me along the path of everlasting life.”
                                                         Psalm 139:23-24 NLT

“Restate to yourself what the purpose of your life is. The destined end of man is not happiness, nor health, but holiness.”
                                      Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

As each new season approaches, I find myself musing about the direction of my life. Am I headed in the right direction? Do I need to make any adjustments? I ask God to direct my paths, as he promises he will in the Psalms and Proverbs. One of my objectives in seeking direction contains an element of needing the definition of what my life could look like if I were in line with God’s will.

One place I look for definitions is in my dictionary. One morning before the new school year started, I was thinking about whether my life was on the grid of God’s will. (A friend had shared this concept, and I was plumbing the depths of the metaphor). The word “grid” was fairly straight forward in its definition—“vertical and horizontal lines evenly spaced”. Not really the inspirational meaning I was looking for, so I flipped back to the definition of direct. The first entry was its verb usage, which offered this definition: “address; cause to move or follow a certain course; show (someone) the way”; all common meanings that I had mulled over before. But this time I went a little further and found the adjective usage of the word, which was “frank or straight-forward”. In that moment, my heart did a flip from my usual begging for clarity in reference to my life course to asking for God to be direct with me.

I no longer just wanted him to tell me what to do with my life, but I wanted him to look into my heart and redirect its course. Is there anything in my heart that hinders God’s will for my life? Does he see any hurtful ways that I relate to others? It was a bit frightening at first to ask these questions, but after a while I saw the freedom that comes from directness. Who wouldn’t rather that others be direct and frank with them, especially if there is something amiss in our appearance? Even more, I want to know if I am being a jerk.

My new approach to prayer will be to ask God to be frank with me, as the psalmist prayed, “Point out my sinfulness.” Not so I can squirm under scrutiny, but so I can be free from insulting God and hurting others.

“Now may the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the patience of Christ.”
                                                                                                               2 Thessalonians 3:5 NKJV

Retreat: A Place of Privacy or Safety

2011-08-15T09:26:00.000-05:00

My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.

When can I go and meet with God?

(Psalm 42:2 NIV)

“Possibly the barrier is not time at all. What we are up against is not really the pressure of events, not the many demands on our time, but a stubbornness within ourselves, a hard-heartednenss that will not yield to transformation and change.” (Emilie Griffin, Wilderness Time: A Guide for Spiritual Retreat)

The squeal and swoosh of the school bus brakes have returned to the neighborhood. Just when I was getting into a summer routine, the bell is ringing for classes to start. I am ready to finish my final semester at UM-St. Louis. I am one of those non-traditional students, who late in life decided she wanted her college education after all. As I gather notebooks and textbooks into my backpack, I begin to lament that my unhurried times in the gazebo gazing off into the cosmos of God’s heart will soon be over.

Instead my time will be filled with huge amounts of reading and writing papers, and collaborating with other students on projects to fulfill our requirements. How will I meet with God in the midst of this chaotic pace? It occurs to me that I will have to plan “retreats” during the week. This will take discipline because some days I will be overwhelmed and others just apathetic about anything. These feelings occur on a regular basis, so I want to plan in advance a strategy to ward off complacency.

Thankfully most of my classes start around 11am this semester, giving me more time to linger in the refuge of mornings on the porch or snatched moments of contemplation in the gazebo. This all sound a bit romantic, but sometimes I need to couch my life in these terms to find the adventure and joy of it all.

I like the concept of a retreat because it is an intentional way to escape the pressures of life. Usually when I think of retreat it is a time and place set apart with a group of people to reflect on God and learn more about how He wants me to live out this life. Since I don’t really have time for one of those right now, I want to incorporate the idea of retreat into my regular schedule.

In reading Emilie Griffin’s, Wilderness Time, a book about spiritual retreats, my interest increased in designing personal retreats in the midst of every day, ordinary life. I don’t know where this interest will lead me, but I hope to see some fruit in my personal life, and hopefully extend an invitation in the future for others to design their own personal retreats.

In the meantime, may I encourage you to spend some time thinking about and asking yourself, “When can I meet with God?” And maybe even contemplate why this is a good idea?

Journey: A Day’s Travel

2011-08-01T10:59:00.000-05:00

"Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage."
(Psalm 84:5 NIV)

“. . .they relish the spirit of the journey, which is as much about the camaraderie as it is about reaching the intended destination.” (“Great Journey, Great Loop” by Bobbye Kenyon, Boating World magazine)

I love to travel. Planning our next destination is often the topic of conversation, when my husband and I are returning from a trip. We dream about the possibilities. We discuss the benefits of going to certain places during certain times of the year. While trips are fun and exciting at the time, I often come back from a trip a little blue. I miss the freedom from responsibility. The day after a trip I usually want to sleep or feel a great pressure to get something done.

This is where I find myself today, coming off of a great family time at Sunset Bay, NY. Our days included coffee in the morning, meals throughout the day, sunbathing on the beach, playing Pictionary and watching the sunset each evening. Now that I am home, I am back to figuring out my schedule. What do I need to get done before classes start in three weeks? How can I stick to a “one day at a time” philosophy, when it seems so many duties are facing me? Laundry, grocery shopping, doctor’s appointments, catching up with friends and some summer school assignments loom before me.

I’d rather just go back to bed, but the day is calling. We often think of a journey as travelling from place to place, but from its French root word- “jour” there is a sense of daily. To separate the long term journey mindset from the daily journey is not that easy. My romantic side wants to dwell on the great hope of the next destination, but my practical side needs to live in the day. How can I add a little romance to the daily?

I think it comes from realizing that each day has potential for camaraderie with God and others. God’s presence with Moses and the Israelites was a daily reality. The word for journey in Hebrew literally means to "break camp". The Israelites camped out until God initiated the next move. (See Numbers 9:15-23). To be attuned to God’s movement in my life takes paying attention. This takes time, energy and faith. I want to become more and more yielded to his Spirit, and respond with joyful obedience. I don’t know how this looks specifically, anymore than the Israelites probably knew where they would go next. The main thing they knew was that they wanted God’s presence to be in their midst. My ultimate heart’s desire is to be so absorbed with God’s presence that is doesn’t matter if I am in a romantic state of mind or a practical state of mind, but just that I am enjoying His company no matter what life brings my way.

Name: A Word or Phrase that Constitutes the Distinctive Designation of a Person or Thing; Having an Established Reputation

2011-07-15T15:03:00.000-05:00

Those who know your name will trust in you,

for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you. (Psalm 9:10 NIV)

“The ancient Hebrews followed a practice of naming sons with magnificently descriptive words. They believed that the good name they bestowed on their offspring actually endowed the child with the power to attain its qualities. God wants us to know that the same is true for us of his names. . . And he wants us to run to the security of those names, fully persuaded of their meaning and power.”

(David Wilkerson, Hallowed Be Thy Names)

“Putting a name to a bird is the first step in preserving and protecting it. Without names, birds are generic and often ignored, but once you attach a name to a species, both it and you are transformed. For then you can consider this particular bird’s nesting requirements, its feeding niche, its migratory pathways, its singularity; and you care about its welfare.”

(Jonathon Alderfer and Jon L. Dunn, Birding Essentials)

“What’s your name?” This is the initial question when introducing ourselves, but just knowing a person’s name doesn’t mean you know that much about him or her. I can list several names of God from the Bible, even the Hebrew translations of them like: Adonai, El Elyon, El-Shaddai and Jehovah-Jireh. But if you do not know Hebrew, these are just foreign words. To get to know God better, I spend time with him becoming familiar with what his names mean.

I am not just getting a definition of his name, any more than I am looking for the literal meaning of an acquaintance’s name. In a relationship, I want to know what it means to be Joe So and So or Sue Such and Such. What has it been like living in their skin, how are they related to other people and how have they come to where they are today-- are all things I would want to know as I spend time with them. In a sense, I would get to know their reputation by living life with them.

Since the beginning of time man has not only been giving names to each other, but also to animals and plants. And then as time unfolded, we began naming places and events. We have been endowed with a propensity for naming. No wonder over the years, God has revealed himself through names. God also has been given names by those who have walked with him, because they knew that names hold much significance. This significance comes from more than just stating God’s name. God wants us to have more than just mere knowledge of his names, he desires us to experience the reputation of His names.

A recent struggle with my health brought this truth home to my heart. One spring evening, I suffered a series of incidents with numbness on the right side of my body. When I shared my symptoms, some friends advised me to get to the ER immediately. My trip to the ER landed me in the hospital overnight, and I knew that God was with me. All the tests taken the next day showed that nothing in my head or heart seemed to be the culprit. I went home thankful, and with orders to follow-up with my family doctor, yet with no clear diagnosis.

I waited a few more weeks, with this numbness still nagging at me. So I chided myself into making the phone call for the follow-up. My doctor listened attentively and ordered a MRI for my neck and my brain. I got through the neck MRI, and although it showed a bulging disc and a narrowing in the nerve area, he felt this was not the cause of my demise. Next came a month long battle to make it back into the MRI machine. Although I made it through the MRI of my neck, the experience revealed a weak spot, of which I have no control, namely, I am claustrophobic.

All through this struggle, I was praying and I was asking others to pray. I even had come across El-Shaddai, as a name of God in my Bible, and had done some digging into what it meant. Here’s what I read in the note at the bottom of the page, “El-Shaddai is the name of God which sets Him forth primarily as the strengthener and satisfier of His people. “All-sufficient” [is] . . . the characteristic use of the name in Scripture. God Almighty (El-Shaddai) not only enriches but makes fruitful.” (Note on Genesis 17:1 in New Scofield Study Bible, NIV)

The note in my Bible gave me an insight that I promptly filed in my “new knowledge” folder in my head. Then I left it there, thinking, “Wow! I never knew that about the meaning of El-Shaddai.” But God was not going to just leave me with this great knowledge; he was orchestrating a month’s worth of proving his reputation, and the experience of what it means to rely on El-Shaddai.

It took me three attempts to get through the MRI for my brain. The first attempt lasted seconds, the sounds of the machine seemed unbearable, so I squeezed my panic button, and asked to go home. God didn’t let me down; I just hadn’t quite understood yet that I was relying on my own courage to get through the procedure. I called my doctor’s office and asked if I could get some kind of sedative to get me through the test. They ordered it and I went back a week later, still covered in much prayer, and having spent the week resting and spending time with God in my secret garden gazebo.

This time, I took Les with me, and a dear friend came to sit with me again. The medicine relaxed me, and I had moral support, so I bravely walked with Les back to the machine. But once I got in the machine, I started hollering and kicking my feet for the technician to get me out of it. We were all disappointed, because I knew that God was with me, and that others had been praying. And I even had been rehearsing all the great Scripture verses about trusting in God and his promise to never leave or forsake me.

I went back home, called the doctor’s office again, telling them I really needed something else to get me through. They ordered an open MRI, but no mention of sedation. I told myself to be strong and that God would surely get me through this third attempt. I had a couple weeks before I went back and I tried not to think or talk about my trauma. I told myself I could do it. I started claiming promises that God would let me sleep through the procedure, asking friends to pray for this same type of deliverance.

My anxiety still was rising every time I thought about the MRI machine, and especially the terrifying noises that it makes. Two days before the scheduled test, I called about a sedative again. The doctor’s office ordered an increased dose. During those two days, I still wrestled with doubts about getting through this experience. On Wednesday night, I decided to act on the promise that praising God helps take away our fears. I went to a praise and communion service at a neighborhood church with two friends. As I worshipped and wept, God reassured me of his love. I confessed to him that I was a coward, and that I needed his courage, his “El-Shaddai”-ness to get me through.

The next morning with my body sleepy due to the medication, and my spirit calmed because of the surrender the night before, I groggily walked into the room with the open MRI. The technician was a very sweet woman, who got me settled. I told her I was going to say a verse before I started. So I said out loud, “When you lie down, you will not be afraid. When you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.” (Proverbs 3:24, NIV)

The technician offered me a plastic rosary to hold. I took the cross with Jesus’ body on it and held him in my hands. His Spirit spoke peace to me, and gave me realistic images, instead of nightmarish ideas of what the sounds were like. Instead of terrifying metal monsters, the sounds were like a jack hammer and techno music and Morse code. I didn’t fall asleep, but I definitely knew Jesus had not left or forsaken me at anytime, just this time I was experiencing his strength, sufficiency and peace.

My numbness prevails, but my heart has been opened to a deeper sensitivity of what it means to call upon the names of God. My MRI results were normal. Of course, many people question the psychological validity of that diagnosis. I am relieved to know that God will be with me during this mysterious season, and that I am not currently facing a major physical illness.

Secret Garden

2011-06-17T11:51:00.003-05:00

“And the roses—the roses! Rising out of the grass, tangled round the sun-dial, wreathing the tree-trunks, and hanging from their branches, climbing up the walls and spreading over them with long garlands falling in cascades—they came alive day by day, hour by hour. Fair, fresh leaves, and buds—and buds—tiny at first, but swelling and working Magic until they burst and uncurled into cups of scent delicately spilling themselves over their brims and filling the garden air.” (The Secret Garden, by Frances Hodgson Burnett)

“I think it’s possible to forget how alive we really are. We can become dry and tired, just existing, instead of really living. We need to remind ourselves of the juice of life, and make that a habit. Find those places inside that jump for joy,, and do things that bring out your best, most magic self.” (Inspiration Sandwich by SARK)

Magic: (figuratively). “An inexplicable and remarkable influence producing surprising results; an enchanting or mystical quality; glamour, appeal. Also: exceptional skill or talent, inspired accomplishment.” (OED online)

“Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4 NIV)

A few years ago, my clever husband transformed an outgrown tree house into a gazebo in our side yard. I did not know this, but when he built the tree house with the boys, he planned one day for the floor to be lowered to ground level in case he wanted to put a shed up. We already had a shed, so we made a gazebo instead. It became my Secret Garden retreat.

Last year, I neglected this space. This spring when I went out to scrape paint and to spruce it up, I decided it was too much work, so I told my husband he could tear it down if he wanted. I just didn’t seem to care about it anymore. Yet some little children had not forgotten about it. On a Saturday not so long ago, I was talking to my nieces and nephews on Skype. They range from almost ten to four years old. The almost ten year old asked about the Secret Garden, and then they all chimed in. "Can we see your Secret Garden?" Even the four year old wanted to know about it, and she was just starting to toddle the last time they had visited and we played there.

I told them I needed some children to come help me restore the garden.

As a child I was enchanted by the story of three young people who found a neglected garden, and secretly began working to restore it. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I would ask my mother and three sisters what was a favorite story from their childhood. Unanimously they each individually mentioned The Secret Garden. The magic of that story has stayed with each one of us. I am sure we each would have different reasons why it meant so much to us.

For me it is the joy of seeing something that was neglected being restored to its former beauty. It reminds me of the work that God does in our hearts. How when we delight ourselves in Him, as He delights in us, our lives are made new. Desires are rekindled, we want to run and leap for joy. Even when we feel dry and worn out, we can count on God to bring the restoring life of the Spirit in-- to remind us that life is worth living.

Inspired by four little children, I went back out to the gazebo this week. I scrubbed it clean and decided to not repaint the floor. I gathered some items from around the yard and house, creating a little retreat for me to sit and read. Maybe I will dust off my copy of The Secret Garden.

I would love to hear about one of your favorite childhood stories from a book or even your own life.

Miscellany: A Mixture of Various Things

2011-05-26T12:58:00.000-05:00

Blessed be the Lord,
Who daily loads us with benefits,
The God of our salvation! (Psalm 68:19 NKJV)

Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior,
who daily bears our burdens. (Psalm 68:19 NIV)

Crisis, change, all the myriad upheavals that blister the spirit and leave us groping—they aren’t voices simply of pain but also of creativity. And if we would only listen, we might hear such times beckoning to a season of waiting, to the place of fertile emptiness.

Sue Monk Kidd, When the Heart Waits

It has been quite awhile since I last posted. It was almost like I gave up blogging for Lent. I had great plans of contemplating Lent. I had hoped to observe the Holy Triduum leading up to the pinnacle of Christ's conquering death on the cross, where he overcame the grave and appears alive again! These aspirations went by the wayside as life again invaded, and I found myself alternately exulting, and then lamenting the amount of work it takes to be a full-time non-traditional student.

The reason I am back to blogging. I missed it. Writing is key to how I express myself. While classes are on, my writing is usurped by papers and essays. When classes are off, I get to take back my writing juices for creative and contemplative purposes.

I won’t make any big promises, but I hope to blog more this summer. For some reason finishing things seems to take more energy. I have one semester left to complete my degree in English. I want to embrace the opportunity to learn with joy, but let’s face it sometimes going to school is a lot of work. I can honestly say, I will be glad when this season is over. Change is on the horizon. Change can inspire joy and it also can conjure up fear.

I like what one of my new “mentors” says about fear. I met her in a bookstore through her books. Not in person, but in her book. Her name is SARK. She inspires me because in her writing, she really doesn’t seem to care what others think of her, and she makes me laugh. This is what she said about fear:

“Invite your fears in, then tell them to sit down and shut up.”

See what I mean. She makes me laugh.

However, the burden of living can be very serious at times. That is why we need God, and why we need “mentors” who speak to us through their voices, their writings and their very lives.

I hope this blog will become a place where you find out that you are not alone in your current crisis. That God wants to daily load you with benefits. . . namely the benefit of having our burdens eased through His love and the people he puts into our lives.

Here is a list of miscellany God-benefits:

Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits —
who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's. (Psalm 103:2-5 NIV)

Grudge: A Feeling of Deep-Seated Resentment or Ill Will

2011-03-08T07:27:00.000-06:00

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:30-32 NIV)

“Why you holdin' grudges in old jars?” Newsboys, Million Pieces (Kissin’ Your Cares Goodbye)

Finally, the promised, second part of my last blog entry. I hope the lapse of time hasn’t caused you to start storing up any grudges against me. I have been busy filling Ordinary Time with going to school, and contemplating the goodness of God in the midst of my every day struggles.

Last time, we talked about canning, and how if the seal doesn’t take, you get rotten peaches or tomatoes. Grudges hinder us. They grieve the Holy Spirit. Grieving the Holy Spirit sounds like a weighty offense, and it is, mainly because it is like hurting your best friend on purpose. But thanks be to God, he gave us the gift of confession and the promise of forgiveness.

I did not plan to write today. I really did mean to keep to a weekly habit of posting a blog, but alas life got in the way. But I find it interesting, that today, I woke up ready to get something posted. To keep my promise of the part two of this series on Mardi Gras, the last day of Ordinary Time, seems timely.

So now this blog will transition into an invitation to join me in the next major observation of the Liturgical Year: Lent. Today is the day to say “farewell to the flesh,” as so many will do in excess.

Many will also make promises to fast from something for the next forty days in preparation for the celebration of Christ’s Resurrection. I am thinking about fasting from grudges. How about you?

To read more about the roots of Mardi Gras click here: http://www.americancatholic.org/features/mardigras/

Seal: To Determine Irrevocably or Indisputably

2011-01-24T10:40:00.000-06:00

And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in Him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession-to the praise of His glory. (Ephesians 1:13-14 NIV)

“Surrender Everything And Live!” (my newest motto for life)

Just to warn you this will be the first entry of a two-part blog. I have two topics mulling around in my head, and wasn’t sure whether to go with the feel good message first, or hit ourselves with the “ouch” one. So I decided to go with this happier one first, to soften the blow.

I recently came up with this”seal” acronym to help my friend and I, as we each face daily spiritual battles. Namely, to do that which at times seems too overwhelming--like making the bed, perhaps. We asked God for a strategy that would work for each of us. I left her with the promise that I would be her s.e.a.l. prayer partner. Driving home, I was playing around with ideas for the acronym, and the above motto popped into my head, “Surrender Everything and Live!” I laughed to myself because in most military efforts the cry is “Surrender or Die!” I love the twist.

I was trying to think of something that we could relate to when we think about being “sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise”, which brings me to canning. Not that I practice the ancient art, but I did grow up in a family who valued storing our hard earned produce for the winter. I remember enjoying fresh canned peaches that we had picked in an orchard during the summer. We would sanitize the glass jars in our dishwasher, boil the two-part metal lids on the stove top, then fill the clean jars with sliced peaches covering them with syrup made from sugar and water. Next, we would line up the seal part of the lid on the jar and then loosely screw on the rim. We had this big black, speckled pot with a jar holding contraption inside. We would place each filled and prepared jar in the cage-like mechanism, and lower them into a water bath, boiling the jars for the required time.

My mother would remind us to listen for the pop that the seal made to indicate that the process was complete. We could also authenticate the seal by visually checking that the center of the lid, which was indented at the beginning, had indeed popped up. This was an important check in the process. If the seal didn’t take, we could start over. If we missed a jar, in the winter our peaches would be rotten.

Authenticating the seal insured fresh peaches. I am not sure this is the best metaphor for understanding the seal of the Holy Spirit, but I like to know that I have been authenticated by the Holy Spirit, as far as my salvation is concerned. Through Jesus’ sacrifice I know that I have been preserved from God’s wrath, but the seal of the Holy Spirit assures me that this knowledge can be freshly applied to my daily spiritual battles. It has been determined irrevocably! To dispute the fact that Jesus has redeemed us would be pointless, since we have the promised Holy Spirit indwelling us.

Surrender is the means by which I know the seal has taken hold! And now to live!

Routine: A Regular Course of Procedure; a Worked-Out Part

2011-01-15T18:00:00.000-06:00

(Routine has its roots in route meaning: “traveled way”)

In the heavens he has pitched a tent for the sun,
which is like a bridegroom coming forth from his pavilion,
like a champion rejoicing to run his course.
Ps 19:4b-5 NIV

“. . . [I]t might be true that sun rises regularly because he never gets tired of rising. His routine might be due, not to lifelessness, but to a rush of life.” G. K. Chesterton

I am not the sun, so I do tire of rising. I get the doldrums. I dig in my heels and resist routine. I want out. I want to do nothing. But alas, when I have nothing to do, I get depressed. I tire of it as well. I need a change of perspective.

The definition of routine is about as rousing as the forcing of myself to engage in my daily routines, especially when I get in a funk like this. I want to blame my blues on the lack of blueness in the sky. I tell myself, it’s just winter, I always get down this time of year. I am not in a full blown state of despair, but I’m just saying-- it’s difficult to stay motivated.

The psalmist and Chesterton both have something in their poetry and prose that I think is lacking in my perspective of routine. I need a little imaginative, role playing to help me get up and face the day. To engage in some story making. To embrace adventure as my credo. If I would wake up and remember God has a role for me today, a worked-out part, maybe I would be a little more enthusiastic.

Others have traveled this route before, and have made it through the dark days. I need to surround myself with their stories and sayings. And take to heart that Jesus, himself, walked these weary ways of the flesh; he feels my frustration. Yet at the same time, he is the only one, who can lift my head and cause me to rise like the sun. He gives me the “rush of life” at just the right moment. And gently reminds me to not try so hard. To let the routines take care of themselves, to stay on the traveled way is his invitation at this moment.

Ordinary Time: In Between Feasts

2011-01-07T18:43:00.000-06:00

Taste and see that the LORD is good.
Oh, the joys of those who trust in him!
Psalm 34:8 NLT

“Ordinary Time reminds us that contemplation is the center of the Christian life. It is the place where the mind of Christ and our own come to know one another, where we integrate our concerns in this world by attuning them to the next.” -Joan Chittister, The Liturgical Year

We started our journey several weeks back with observing Advent. Yesterday marked the feast of Epiphany and this coming Sunday many celebrate the remembrance of Christ’s baptism. If you are keeping the liturgical year with me, then this coming Monday we head into Ordinary Time. A season which is observed between the feasts. The four major feasts are Christmas, Lent, Pentecost and Advent. Advent leads us into Christmastide and several feasts including Epiphany.

As I mentioned before, this is a fairly new practice for me to observe these feasts, so I am not really sure what is expected of me during this Ordinary Time. But I do agree that contemplation is central to my walk with Christ. Since I have a break from my regular routine for ten more days, I am looking forward to more time to contemplate our Savior. We often say when we want to understand some topic that we are going to pick the brain of an expert. The Scriptures tell us that we have access to the mind of Christ, that our thinking can actually be transformed and renewed. (1 Corinthians 2:16; Romans 12:2) I am thinking that picking the brain of Jesus through Scriptures will be one of my main pursuits this year.

Although the feasts of Advent and Christmas have passed, I still want to feast on the Word of God. Maybe it will not be a fancy meal or special dessert, but I do want to daily take in the presence of God with regular Bible readings and devotions, sticking with the basics, and every once in a while savoring a extraordinary helping of spiritual sustenance by sharing an extended day with Jesus.

Jesus invites us to meet with him in the setting of a meal. He says, “Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. “ Revelation 3:20 NKJV

Won’t you accept the invitation of Jesus to dine with him?

Next: Nearest or Adjacent To

2011-01-01T19:05:00.000-06:00

To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven. . .
Ecclesiastes 3:1 NKJV

“Listen carefully to Me, and eat what is good,
And let your soul delight itself in abundance.
Incline your ear, and come to Me.
Hear, and your soul shall live . . .”

The Word of the LORD through the prophet Isaiah (Isa 55 NKJV)

Happy Next Year! So often I get caught up in the newness of a year, yet this New Year’s Day, I was struck by the idea that today just begins the next year on the calendar. Not last year, not a year from now, but that which is going to unfold next. I don’t know why this is so intriguing to me, except that maybe I am not so interested in doing something new this year. I kind of like my current routines. I don’t need a new goal for healthy living—I need to keep making the next good choice. I don’t have to find a fresh way to connect with God—His word and prayer and loving others are the tried and true ways. I just need to keep trusting Him to lead me to the next step of faith.

I am sure there are some habits I need to change or some attitudes that I need to improve, but mostly I am content. So instead of approaching this as a new year filled with over ambitious expectations of myself and others, I plan to continue on the path and see what happens next.

Marvel: To Become Filled with Surprise, Wonder or Amazed Curiosity

2010-12-31T17:40:00.000-06:00

“The child's father and mother marveled at what was said about him."
Luke 2:33 NIV

“Life is like an exciting book, and every year starts a new chapter.” Unknown

As I was rereading the account of Jesus’ birth, I was caught up in the marvel of it all. The cast of characters surrounding the unfolding narrative are as varied as our neighbors. The account, as given by Luke, opens with the elderly couple Zechariah and Elizabeth. Zechariah, as a priest, was appointed to offer prayers. When the angel, Gabriel, tells him that he and his wife, barren and past child bearing age, were to have a child, Zechariah is stunned into silence by his own wavering of faith. We leave this amazing curiosity to find Mary, a young virgin girl, receiving a similar message about a miraculous conception—she was to be overshadowed by the Holy Spirit and bear the Son of God. Joseph must have been surprised, and it was necessary for him to have a dream encounter with a messenger from God to grasp this marvelous news.

Things seem to settle back into a routine, when it is decreed that the Roman government wants to take a census, and Joseph must take his very pregnant wife to Bethlehem. Once they get to town, her labor pains increase, and Mary delivers the baby Jesus in a stable, wrapping him in cloths and laying him in the manger.

In the meantime, some shepherds are keeping their flocks when wonder of wonders, another angelic messenger declares the good news of great joy that the Savior of mankind has been born. After this surprise visit from the shepherds and their ponderous message, Mary and Joseph, seem to get some rest.

According to their religious law a few months later, they go to the temple in Jerusalem to consecrate their first born to God. Here they receive the marvelous prophecy from Simeon, who had waited upon God many years to see the day the Savior would be born.

Here are the words they marveled at:

"Sovereign Lord, as you have promised,
you now dismiss your servant in peace.
For my eyes have seen your salvation,
which you have prepared in the sight of all people,
a light for revelation to the Gentiles
and for glory to your people Israel."

Luke 2:29-32 NIV

Jesus, not even a year old, and so much had already happened surrounding his young life. The emotions must have been running all over for Mary and Joseph.

As I look back over this past year, I marvel at all the various moments I encountered, which were made possible by our Creator, and the Savior of the world—Jesus. I wonder what surprises He has in store for each of us this year. I want to become more and more filled with amazed curiosity, as He creates new life in me, and adds to this next chapter of my life. How about you?

Weary: Exhausted in Strength, Endurance, Vigor or Freshness

2010-12-28T17:48:00.000-06:00

All things are full of weariness;
a man cannot utter it;
the eye is not satisfied with seeing,
nor the ear filled with hearing.
Ecclesiastes 1:8 ESV

“This is a weary world when Jesus is away—we could better do without sun and moon than without him—but how divinely fair all things become in the glory of his presence! Our souls know the virtue which dwells in Jesus, and can never be content without him.” Charles H. Spurgeon

Sometimes life exhausts me. I love adventures and quests, but some days I just want to rest. To do absolutely nothing appeals to me. I thought maybe some others could relate, so I thought I’d put that out there today.

I was wondering if Mary and Joseph ever felt weary as parents. I was wondering how exhausted shepherds get when tending to their blaring, bleating and belligerent sheep. I was wondering how much endurance and vigor it took the Magi to travel across the barren terrain to find the Messiah. I was wondering if Jesus ever wearies of our complaining and our chasing after other things to satisfy us.

I don’t know if any of the above scenarios ever happened or happen. But one thing I do know, people get weary. We want a fresh perspective, new ideas and hope for the future. And I also know that Jesus offers rest for the weary. Since he walked amongst us, I am pretty sure he understands our weariness.

I had hoped to share some new insight into my quest to celebrate the Christmas feast, but instead I offer you this invitation from Jesus:

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me - watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.”
Matthew 11:28-29, The Message

And maybe this is the best way to celebrate today: Rest.

Feast: Something That Gives Unusual or Abundant Enjoyment

2010-12-27T21:04:00.000-06:00

They feast on the abundance of your house;
You give them drink from your river of delights.
For with you is the fountain of life;
In your light we see light. Psalm 36:8-9 NIV

“We do not come to Christmas to pretend that the baby Jesus is born again this day. . . We come to Christmas looking for the signs of Jesus’ presence manifest in our own life and age, in us and in the world around us.”
- Joan Chittister, The Liturgical Year

Although the wrapping paper went out with the recycling this morning, and gifts have been presented to loved ones, our Christmas tree still holds vigil in the corner of our family room. The lights on the tree stay lit through the night, and I’ve hardly unplugged it this year. It reminds me that we are in the midst of a celebration that invades our lives, and asks us to keep remembering the Light of the World.

To keep my heart tender toward the mystery of the Incarnation, each year I think I will celebrate the twelve days after Christmas, which lead to Epiphany. I have a vague idea of this observance, but no real frame of reference, since I was not raised liturgically. I could probably sing all the verses of the familiar song, and have heard that each one of the verses symbolizes significant events in the life of Christ and the church. But I want to know how to celebrate these twelve days. I want to prepare for Epiphany.

As I was reading some more in The Liturgical Year, I found the chapter on Christmas fascinating. Apparently there has been some dispute over the centuries as to when to date the birth of Christ. And through some interesting reasoning the church of the West and the church of the East came up with these two dates. Then the more liturgical churches began celebrating the feast of Christmas, which starts on Christmas day and ends on January 6th or Epiphany, as a compromise of sorts.

You really have to read the whole chapter to get the sense of this, but the main conclusion about the dates comes down to this-- Christ’s birth was significant. Thus we celebrate this time of year. What I like about the feast is that those who observe it mark, not only the birth of Jesus, but also significant events in his life before Easter, such as his baptism.

I need to do some more investigating, but in the meantime my response will be to make this observance personal, not just a history lesson. To do so I will ask myself the following questions: What will I do with this knowledge of Emmanuel--God with us? Will I invite Jesus to teach me more about his life, and how it impacts mine? Will I read the gospels more? Will I be found ministering to those in need and comforting those who suffer this year? Will I become more like Jesus in my thoughts, words and actions?

How about you?

Cross: An Unavoidable Affliction

2010-12-24T08:22:00.000-06:00

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12 :2 NIV

"Early Christians knew without doubt all facets of the life of Christ stemmed from one reality…one central reality: the cross. Jesus was born to confront the cross; Jesus died on the cross to bring us to fullness of life; Jesus rose to defeat the cross; Jesus embodied what the role of the cross was to be in the life of us all." –Joan Chittister, The Liturgical Year

Visions of families gathered around the table eating delicacies both savory and sweet. Piles of presents wrapped and placed under our Christmas trees so neat. And just for good measure we remember the babe in the manger, where farm animals are said to eat. Why would one want to leave this scene and to mention the cross? Because if we keep saying that Jesus is the greatest gift without the mention of this greatest affliction, we should count it great loss.

Every adventure has its dark moments, and it seems every year that I contemplate the advent of our Savior, the “little Lord Jesus, asleep on the hay,” that it is not long before the images of passion week come into my readings or my mind. And as I was reading about the liturgical year, the author reminded me that while today we will sing and worship the newborn King, that every other day after this is marching us straight to the cross, the pinnacle of our experience of Jesus as our Savior.

To think on these things may be sobering, but they also bring about a mysterious hope. The cross was the unavoidable affliction that Jesus faced for us, yet he triumphed over it. Our hope is found in his resurrection. The hope of this season—a new birth—leads us to the wonderful news that we have access to new life ourselves.

The quest to follow the liturgical year for me is not just a religious checklist, but a desire to know the life of Jesus more fully, and to be willing to take up the cross of following him wherever this life leads me.

I want to leave you with a link to a very old poem that you may like to read and use in your contemplations of the Cross. The narrator of the poem has a vision of the cross, in which the cross is adorned with jewels. Further into his dream, the cross takes on a voice and tells from its perspective what the crucifixion was like. I like the creativity of this poem, and how the cross knew that Jesus willingly took his place on the cross. I would love to hear your thoughts on this poem, if you have a moment. The link takes you to a translation of the poem, it was originally written in Old English. Here it is: The Dream of the Rood (rood means cross).

Joy: A Source or Cause of Delight

2010-12-23T09:11:00.000-06:00

“But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.” Luke 2:10-11 NIV

“Very often our joy is dulled by unnecessary anxiety. We let our peace of soul depend too much on persons and events and circumstances, and too little on God’s infallible and tender care.” – from the MaryKnoll Missal

“The essential of happiness is having something to do, something to love and something to hope for.” –Allan K. Chalmers

My adventure in liturgy has come in spurts this December. I had grand plans of daily contemplating the rich history of the church and its celebration of Advent, but alas this fast paced century keeps me from my monastic tendencies. So how does one contemplate Jesus and his arrival in this chaotic, performance driven culture? We plan events like Christmas eve services, we gather with family and give one another gifts as an attempt of emulating the gift of the Savior, and we crash on December 26th. Yet the liturgical year is just beginning, and we have more adventures ahead as we remember the life of Jesus.

In between Christmas and January 6th, which takes us through Epiphany Sunday, we still have time to contemplate the birth of Christ. In our secular world, many will just take a break waiting to celebrate New Year’s Eve, and then start another cycle of chasing after the offerings of this world. And most likely I will, too. I am not out to attack secular pursuits, but I am on a quest to keep Christ as the main focus of how I pursue this life.

This is just the beginning of the journey. So let’s enjoy the newness of life that surges through our heart as we travel back in time to the Birth of our Savior. What new things does He have in store for us?

As I enter the next couple of very special days on the church calendar, the Christmas vigil and Christmas Day, I want to ponder some questions that Joan Chittister poses in her book, The Liturgical Year. Will you join me in my ponderings?

“What does the life of Jesus now mean to us? How is [his] life affecting our own? Are we ourselves living both the promise and the potential [that is offered to us by his life]?”

Tent: A Portable Shelter

2010-12-16T09:20:00.000-06:00

“Lord, you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations.”
Psalm 90:1 NIV

“While you journey through life in My Presence, My Glory brightens the world around you.” from Jesus Calling, by Sarah Young

This morning I was sitting in my usual spot trying to enjoy some quiet moments with God. Before I got to that place of quiet, I had been working on my Christmas to-do list. I had visions of ice covered parking lots, but I was planning to brave the weather, and get the task of shopping for gifts, aka gift cards, knocked off my list. I also am in the middle of a project to make some special gifts for family members. So my spirit was having a hard time getting settled. As I was trying to concentrate, my eye caught the title of a book on my little shelf next to my chair, and I took it as an invitation from God: “Come Away with Me.” At first, I resisted and thought, “ I don’t have anywhere to come away with you, the guest/craft room is filled with junk to go through and it’s too cold to sit out on the front porch.” Both of these places have served as sort of refuge and retreat on different occasions, but not today.

The next thought that popped into my head was the image of putting a cover over my head so I could block out the world around me to just be still and enjoy God’s presence. This thought led to a very incredible thought, “Why don’t you build a tent out of blankets, like you did as a little girl and like your boys did when they were young?” As you can imagine tears welled up, because those days were very dear to me. I cried for a bit, and then tried to talk myself out of this absurd idea. But it persisted, and I just happened to have a big blanket on the couch, so I set to making myself a little shelter to sit in and read my Bible today.

My husband didn’t say a word, the cat explored and the dog was very suspicious of the whole ordeal. I climbed in and laid on my back like a child, looking up at my creation. More tears, and then the release into carefree living.

So I gathered my journal and Bible, and settled into my little tent. I felt a little like the prophets, who God asked strange requests of over the years. Then pounce, the cat jumped onto the top of the tent and everything came crashing down. I just sat there laughing out loud with a startled cat on my back.

I don’t know if there is a lesson in all of this, but I invite you to find your own special place to retreat with God today, and just enjoy the carefree moment of being with Him.

“Live carefree before God; he is most careful with you.” 1 Peter 5:7 The Message

Kiss: A Mark of Affection or Respect

2010-12-13T08:49:00.000-06:00

Love and faithfulness meet together;

righteousness and peace kiss each other.

Psalm 85:10 NIV

Mistletoe

Walter de le Mare

Sitting under the mistletoe
(Pale-green, fairy mistletoe),
One last candle burning low,
All the sleepy dancers gone,
Just one candle burning on,
Shadows lurking everywhere:
Some one came, and kissed me there.

Tired I was; my head would go
Nodding under the mistletoe
(Pale-green, fairy mistletoe),
No footsteps came, no voice, but only,
Just as I sat there, sleepy, lonely,
Stooped in the still and shadowy air
Lips unseen—and kissed me there.

Kissing…ewww! That’s what a first grade boy thinks. Kissing…ahhhh. That’s what a romantic young girl dreams while she stands under the mistletoe. But what does kissing have to do with Christmas?

“In eighteenth century England, a young woman could not refuse to be kissed if she was standing under the ornately decorated “kissing ball.” But the origins of mistletoe's significance go further back to a Greek festival and early marriage rites. It was believed to bestow fertility and “life-giving” power. In Scandinavia, mistletoe was considered a plant of peace, under which enemies could declare a truce or warring spouses kiss and make-up.” http://www.theholidayspot.com/christmas/history/mistletoe.htm

In Eastern cultures, to kiss someone was to greet them. We could equate this with our handshake. Again I ask what all this has to do with Christmas. The answer came to me through the psalmist's use of personifying love and faithfulness, and righteousness and peace. We find these four rich concepts greeting and kissing one another. This metaphor points us to God’s desire to connect with us. I especially like the image of how “righteousness and peace kiss each other;”giving us the image of these two abstract ideas sharing something. Righteousness shows respect to peace, peace affectionately embraces righteousness. This coming together of love and faithfulness, and righteousness and peace embodies the whole of Christmas. Christmas becomes the greatest gesture of all. God kisses the earth with His presence. All-righteous God takes on human flesh. The babe born in the manger grows into the faithful expression of God’s love. Loving us all through his obedience to the Father, he graciously takes our place on the cross.

Jesus accepts the kiss of death for us. He brings peace to our warring hearts, and offers the way to make-up with our Creator God. Leaving us with the holy kiss of His Spirit, he asks us to show the same respect and affection for one another, which he had for his Father and for us.

As we enter the third week of Advent will you join me in the Prayer Appointed for the Week:

Stir up your power, O Lord, and with great might come among us; and, because we are sorely hindered by our sins, let your bountiful grace and mercy speedily help and deliver us; through Jesus Christ our Lord, to whom, with you and the Holy Spirit, be honor and glory now and for ever. Amen

Invisible: Inaccessible to View, Hidden

2010-12-07T16:49:00.000-06:00

“…for he [Moses] endured as seeing Him who is invisible.” Hebrews 11:27 NKJV

“The liturgical year…does not immediately plunge us in to the chaos of the Crucifixion or the giddy confusion of the Resurrection. Instead, the year opens with Advent, the season that teaches us to wait for what is beyond the obvious. It trains us to see what is behind the apparent. Advent makes us look for God in all those places we have, until now, ignored.” Joan Chittister, The Liturgical Year

As we enter the second week of Advent, I haven’t even had a chance to share one tradition that we adopted when my husband and I first married. We discussed which traditions we wanted to keep from our childhood experiences, but we also wanted to start our own traditions as a newly married couple. We decided to celebrate Advent. I created an advent wreath out of greenery and four votives and a candlestick in the middle. We found a book called Christ in Christmas: A Family Advent Celebration. Each Sunday of Advent we would read the readings after lighting the candle for the week. Over the years we marveled at the changes in our family, from the first Christmas where we just read the text out loud to our infant son to the toddler years where with two little boys it was hard to keep them still during the readings. Then as they grew older we tried the activities the book suggested, and at the end of the reading the boys would fight over whose turn it was to blow out the candles. We still have the book on our bookshelf, but Advent devotions as a family are far and few between. Although last year or the one before, it was very touching when our sons joined in, each preparing a devotion to share with the family. Those years are mostly behind us now, as they both are working or in college. I still try to have my own times of reflection, and this habit of blogging my journey each Advent has lately become my new tradition.

I share our story, not just to conjure up nostalgia, but to show how one can see the invisible. How important these traditions have been in reminding us of the realness of Jesus in our midst. How he really did arrive in history, and how he will return one day. It is a mystery, but with spiritual eyes and stirrings of the soul, we can perceive that which is unseen. Moses’ story is worth revisiting as an example of how the immortal, invisible God manifests himself to mere humans. Let’s recount the ways he revealed himself to Moses and then the Israelites: a burning bush, the ten plagues, the pillar of fire by night and the cloud by day, the parting of the Red Sea, the experience of receiving the ten commandments with all its natural and supernatural drama.

Later on Paul would assert his conclusion about God’s hiddeness:

Since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them. For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities-his eternal power and divine nature-have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.

Romans 1:19, 20 NIV

And may I suggest that following the liturgical year, and the reflecting on the meaning of each candle in the advent wreath, can be visible reminders of our invisible God.

Now unto the King eternal,
immortal,
invisible,
the only wise God,
be honour and glory for ever and ever.

Amen.

1 Timothy 1:17 KJV

Decorate: To Add Honor To

2010-12-06T21:44:00.000-06:00

“This is the LORD’s doing, and it is marvelous in our eyes.” Psalm 118:23

“Where are you Christmas
Why can't I find you
Why have you gone away
Where is the laughter
You used to bring me
Why can't I hear music play” Faith Hill

This past Saturday was my designated time to clean the family room, and then decorate the tree, and put up other decorations. I really did try not to complain this year as I went about this task. I started out well, but cleaning always takes longer than I expect. I had a bit of headache. And I just wasn’t feeling the Christmas mood, even with the carols playing softly in the background. And then it happened I heard myself ask, “Whose idea was it to decorate Christmas trees anyway…grrr…?”

My oldest son, who was sitting in the other room tried to encourage me by reminding me that four years ago, we all decided that I only had to decorate as much as I wanted. His comment helped me relax, and enjoy myself. And I put a few things back in their boxes, and decided once again I didn’t have to put all the ornaments on the tree.

It’s kind of strange that I had already forgotten the inspiring answer I gave to my mother earlier in the week, when she asked a similar question, “Why do we rearrange our whole house for this holiday?” I immediately answered, “We’re making room for Jesus.” We both were stunned for a moment at the simply profound answer that came out of my mouth.

Today I had an even more amazing thought. Jesus rearranged his whole life to enter our world. He took on flesh. He humbled himself to be born in a manager. He humbled himself to die on the cross. He humbly followed and devoted himself to the Father’s plan.

Maybe the music of Christmas, and the mood I long for, were not resonating with me because I have neglected to acknowledge that this is God’s doing. Christmas is his way of reaching out to me, to all mankind. And it is indeed marvelous when I really take the time to contemplate all that it means to honor Christ in all aspects of my life.

How will you decorate your life this season? What ways can we celebrate Christ in our homes and our hearts this Christmas?

And even when all our decorations are back in the attic or basement, will we still add honor to his name?

Light: A Way of Regarding Something

2010-12-03T22:36:00.000-06:00

“For God, who commanded the light to shine out of darkness, hath shined in our hearts, to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ.” 2 Corinthians 4:6 KJV

“Almighty God, give all of us grace to cast away the works of darkness, and put on the armor of light, now in the time of this mortal life in which your Son Jesus Christ came to visit us in great humility; that in the last day, when he shall come again in his glorious majesty to judge both the living and the dead, we may rise to the life immortal; through him who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever. Amen” The Prayer Appointed for the Week, from The Divine Hours

As we approach the end of this first week of Advent, the lights of Christmas are popping up around our neighborhood. I went to my first Christmas social gathering. The first annual Mother/Daughter Gingerbread House Decorating Party with a group of dear friends. We each are facing our own battles with darkness. It was good to just be together in the lightness of the evening, instead of bogged down with the heaviness of life situations. We got to create fun little houses that reflected each personality.

We had a moment to reflect on the light of the world. Mom’s little house wouldn’t stay put together, so we designed a stable and she even had a miniature of the holy family to place in the stable. It was sweet to remember that the true light of Christmas was the One who commanded the light to shine in the first place. The lights and the sweets of the season were put into perspective as we thought of those who are less fortunate than ourselves. We read from Hababbuk 3:17-19, remembering to rejoice even when life does turn out like we expect.

Our little gathering was an example of how traditions get started. Everyone had so much fun that they wanted to know if we could do it again next year. The memories and the joy of creating will keep our hearts light when we face the harder days. We have something to look forward to.

In the prayer book I am following in my devotions this year, one of the refrains of the the liturgy reminds us of the promised return of Jesus, a greater event to look forward to. The refrain is titled, The Cry of the Church.

It says, “Even so, come, Lord Jesus!”

Legacy: A Gift by Will

2010-12-02T07:52:00.000-06:00

“If God didn't hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn't gladly and freely do for us?” Romans 8:32 The Message

“The seasons and cycles and solemnities put before us in the liturgical year are more than representations of time past; they are an unending sign—a veritable sacrament of life. It is through them that the Christ-life becomes present in our own lives in the here and now.” Joan Chittister, The Liturgical Year

For me this adventure of discovering the liturgy has been a journey over the past several years. As a child I was introduced to Jesus through Sunday school at a country church that was not affiliated with a denomination. The teacher asked the class if we wanted to have Jesus live in our hearts. After I asked him to live in my heart, so that I could live with him forever in heaven, my spiritual formation was very informal. I continued to attend Sunday school sporadically, and in the summer we attended various Vacation Bible School programs with our neighbors, mostly at Baptist churches in the community. In about fifth grade I attended a Baptist church with one of my schoolmates whose father was the pastor. I became familiar with hymns like Amazing Grace, I Surrender All, as well as altar calls and my favorite-- Sword Drills. My competitive spirit loved standing at attention with Bible in hand waiting to see who could find the called out Scripture the fastest. Also we sang this great song during Sunday school called the Countdown Song. It was great since the world was all a buzz with landing on the moon and space travel and the Jetsons on Saturday morning. The opening verse went something like this: “Somewhere in outer space God has prepared a place for those who trust him and obey.” Good times.

Yet I missed out on after school catechism classes, first communion and confirmation that my Catholic friends experienced. It wasn’t until I was an adult inoculated in one mainstream tradition that I began to wonder about other church traditions. I confess that because their approach was different than mine, I mostly made fun of them or even worse was fearful of their traditions.

The legacy of the liturgy dates back to the early church. In the Catholic Encylopedia online, the general consensus was that although the liturgy was not as formal as it has become, the early believers followed a loose format when they met together. (See Acts 2:42) To give a brief overview of the history of liturgy would take a whole semester at least, so suffice it to say, we have been handed down a rich legacy of traditions from various groups. I will recommend another of my favorite mentors on this topic of spiritual heritage and formation, Richard J. Foster. In his book Streams of Living Water, he celebrates the various contributions each tradition has offered. It’s a place to start if you are interested.

It was interesting to note that the word liturgy was possibly first used in 1560. This was the year that the Anglican Church published their Book of Common Prayer into Latin for use at universities. Again so much history revolves around the Church of England and its break with the Catholic Church that I will refer you to an internet search if you want to know more.

What does this all have to do with us today, and celebrating Advent? The greatest legacy we have is Emmanuel. No matter how we approach the different traditions, Jesus is our central figure. He is the one that all of these celebrations are focused on. He is not just a child born in Bethlehem or the man who died on the cross—He is God with us! This is the greatest gift given to us our by the Father’s will that we have ever been offered. In the gospel of John, he states this about Jesus and about those who become his co-heirs through belief:

Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God- children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God.

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

John 1:12-14 NIV

10 and 9, 8 and 7, 6 and 5 and 4,
Call upon the Savior while you may,
3 and 2, coming through the clouds in bright array
The countdown's getting lower every day.

Adventure: An Exciting Experience or Undertaking

2010-12-01T07:25:00.000-06:00

“This is the Lord's doing; it is marvellous in our eyes.” Psalm 118:23 KJV

“The liturgical year is an adventure in bringing the Christian life to fullness, the heart to alert, the soul to focus. It does not concern itself with the question of how to make a living. It concerns itself with the questions of how to make a life.” Joan Chittister, The Liturgical Year

Let me be the first to wish you a Happy New Year. Yes, I know that it is only the first of December. Actually I am a couple days late in my well wishing. The liturgical year marks the first Sunday of Advent as its beginning. While I was not brought up in a church that observes the seasons of the church year, I have been fascinated by the practice. I wondered how these seasons of advent and lent came into existence. Many of those who have been rediscovering the ancient spiritual practices have been reinvigorated in their spiritual lives. Over the years I have been seeking out new mentors to help me understand what it involves to follow Christ throughout the year, and remember the significant seasons of his life as well as the life of the church. As this season of Advent unfolds, I would like you to join me on my adventure and introduce to you my mentors (whom I have met in their books).

Our marking of days, weeks and years with our familiar calendar makes sense, since we live in this world. But as a follower of Christ, I want to live more and more in communion with the things of God, and so I am drawn to the liturgical year, which marks the remembrances of significant events in Christ’s life and the outpouring of the Holy Spirit. As we begin this particular liturgical year, I would like to explore together some of the history, as well as just experience the following of the liturgy.

Liturgy may be an unfamiliar word to most. And it may conjure up images of monks silently living out a daily regimen of reading Scripture, chanting prayers and meditating on an icon. Or for others it may mean following a prescribed form of worship Sunday after Sunday that is published by their church. For me, the sound of it is mysterious and foreign.

A quick search of its meaning at Merriam-Webster online (www.m-w.com) gives this definition:

a rite or body of rites prescribed for public worship; a customary repertoire of ideas, phrases or observances. Its origin is from Latin liturgia and Greek leitourgia, both meaning public service. In a note at the end of the entry it says the word was first used in 1560.

The public aspect of liturgy is significant. One observation I have made in my quest has been that my experience of the liturgy would be enhanced by the corporate practice of it. This explains my desire to draw others into my adventure. Some would recommend I find a congregation that practices the liturgy, yet at this point in my life I do not find myself in a position to seek out that setting. One, I am married, so the monastery is not an option. And two, I find myself in a contemporary setting that is familiar to me, and the place that my family has its roots and affections.

I hope that just as others have invited me into this journey through their writings, you will be intrigued and excited about learning new ways to engage the heart of Christ this year.

Fear: An Unpleasant Sensation Caused by Nearness of Danger or Pain

2010-11-19T12:50:00.000-06:00

If you asked my family or friends if I was prone to be fearful, I bet most of them would deny it. Even if I asked myself that question, I would have to assert that I am fearless, most of the time. On the outside I may appear confident, without a care in the world. Yet today I read a prayer about overcoming fear, and I crumbled inside, letting the tears of fear roll down my face. I conceded that I do struggle against fear. Fear shadows so much of my thinking. But just like a shadow, unless I am standing with the sun behind me, I don’t always perceive this shadow of fear constantly following me.

But today the sun was shining just behind my heart and I caught a glimpse of this unwanted companion just standing there waiting for me to acknowledge its presence. In reality this encounter was a gracious act of the Son, who loves to show us what we’re up against. He longs for us to realize how much he wants us to live in the freedom he has already fought for so valiantly. Jesus has already faced all the danger and pain that fear throws at us. So even in this moment of recognizing my tendency toward living in the shadow of fear, I am grateful for the one of whom I can say:

The LORD is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life;
Of whom shall I be afraid? (Psalm 27:1 ESV)

I leave you with this prayer of confession from the book, Prayers for People Under Pressure by Jonathan Aitken:

I would like to rise above, Lord.
Above and beyond.
I would like to purify my glance
And borrow your eyes.
I have fears that grip so tightly.
Fears of failure. Fears of success.
Fears of not being loved, fears of being misunderstood.
I am imprisoned by my fears.
I would like to rise above, Lord.
Above and beyond.
I am worried about yesterday.
About my failure,
And whether I can be forgiven.
I am worried about tomorrow,
All the expectations and ideals.
I long to discover today.
I long to discover the place of joy
--the place of beauty
--the place of content
--the place that I know is here. So close.
And yet I love my prison and hate it.
I long for freedom.
My child, I hear your cry.
I have long been watching your closed shutters.
Why choose to be a prisoner of yourself?
You are free.
It is not I who locked the door,
It is not I who can open it
…for it is you, from the inside,
who persist in keeping it solidly barred.

Author Unknown

Reading and Living the Gospel

2010-10-01T10:11:00.000-05:00

For in the gospel a righteousness from God is revealed,
a righteousness that is by faith from first to last,
just as it is written: "The righteous will live by faith." (Romans 1:17 NIV)

“Glorify the LORD with me; let us exalt his name together.” (Psalm 34:3 NIV)

“At every point as we read the Gospels, we need to remember that they are hero stories that exist to exalt the protagonist of the story.” –Leland and Philip Graham Ryken, note on Matthew 4:1-11 in The Literary Study Bible

The other day I was reading in the Gospel of Matthew about the temptation of Jesus. Lately, I have been reading from The Literary Study Bible. I was struck by the literary note about the Gospels, quoted above. To talk about the gospel in story language may seem like a reduction of its significance, but in reality it adds so much more texture and depth to the meaning. To read the gospels as a hero story, with Jesus being the protagonist or hero, makes my heart soar. Who doesn’t love a good hero story? Over the years culture after culture has passed down its own hero stories. And today we flock to the movie theaters to engage in the exaltation of the hero projected on the screen. How much more should we exalt Jesus?

To understand what it means to exalt someone, I researched the meaning of exalt; one nuance of the word exalt is “to bring to a position of honor” (Vine’s). As we read the accounts of Jesus’ life, passion and resurrection, we find him overcoming evil, healing the sick, and speaking with authority that rankles his antogonists, the religious leaders of the day. As we enjoy the unfolding story of triumph over evil and ultimately death, I identify with the struggle and rejoice in the victory. It gives me a renewed motive for honoring Jesus with my whole life.

In wanting to discover more about the word gospel, I came across an explanation of why Matthew, Mark, Luke and John’s biographies have become called The Gospels. The following commentary gives merit to Jesus' life as representative of a hero story, “As the Messianic rank of Jesus was proved by his words, his deeds, and his death, the narrative of the sayings, deeds, and death of Jesus Christ came to be called euangelion[the gospel]…” (from Thayer's Greek Lexicon).

What intrigues me about the narrative purpose of the gospels is the idea that through the recounting of the story, the protagonist is exalted. We not only see this as we read the Gospels, but also as we live out the gospel in our own lives.

When we tell others Jesus’ story, we are exalting Him all over again. One of the best ways to give honor to our Lord can be through telling others how he has rescued us. I pray we each will have abundant opportunities to tell the story.

"I love to tell the story
of unseen things above,
of Jesus and his glory,
of Jesus and his love.

I love to tell the story,
because I know 'tis true;
it satisfies my longings
as nothing else can do."
(Katherine Hankey)

Thanksgivings, Benedictions and Doxologies

2010-07-20T09:40:00.000-05:00

On your feet now — applaud GOD!
Bring a gift of laughter,
sing yourselves into his presence.

Know this: GOD is God, and God, GOD.
He made us; we didn't make him.
We're his people, his well-tended sheep.

Enter with the password: "Thank you!"
Make yourselves at home, talking praise.
Thank him. Worship him.

For GOD is sheer beauty,
all-generous in love,
loyal always and ever.

Psalm 100 (The Message translation)

Have you ever forgotten how to enter the presence of God? Or felt like there was no way in, especially when you are feeling low or just plain filled with doubts or having a great fit of unbelief. Or maybe, you just are in a rut, and all the old ways of talking to God or praying to Him or praising His name, just don’t move your soul. I am in a place like that these days, and this morning I feel I have had a breakthrough. That the sun is shining through my overcast soul.

These encounters with the holy, living God are not something we can pencil in on our calendars, or make time for in our planners. Yet they do take time, so while I was sitting still and was crying out to God in my stuckness, I was ushered into His presence. I didn’t know how he would respond or where this crying out would lead me. In God’s sweet way, he drew me into his presence through my heartaches. Through my resentments about life, and how I think it ought to be going right now. As I was allowing myself to feel today-- the impact of missing my sister and her family, and the crush of all my supposed responsibilities, the Lord let me cry and blubber and get all messy in my chair situated in the corner of my family room. I grabbed the box of nearby tissues, and we had a good cry together.

In the midst of the crumpling up of myself, God invited me back to one of our favorite pastimes—looking up words in the dictionary. Over the past few weeks, I was developing a creative way to jumpstart my prayer life. I had taken a coupon organizer with twelve dividers and labeled three each for different aspects of prayer. I had three slots for praise, and three more for confession and for thanksgiving and finally intercession.

For the praise section I used affirmations, adorations and praises. For confession I labeled the section with confessions, laments and impossibilities. For the thanksgiving section it was a bit more difficult to make three subcategories. Thanksgiving to me just seemed like one aspect of prayer that was easily enough defined by calling it thanksgiving. But I pressed into it and added to thanksgivings, benedictions and doxologies. I thought it strange to add those to this section because both words seemed more like types of praise or blessings. Since I couldn’t come up with anything else, I kept those labels. Lastly, for intercession I included supplications, intercessions and offerings.

So as I was sitting here today wondering how God could possibly pull me out of this sadness and frustration of not really connecting with Him lately, I turned to the dictionary and looked up benediction and doxology. Big words that boil down to benediction meaning “to speak well of” and doxology meaning “a good opinion, honor, glory”. Both have rich uses in the liturgy of the church.

A familiar doxology is “Praise God from whom all blessings flow” and also Psalm 100 is considered a common doxology. There is so much more to explore regarding the use and practice of these two ideas, but what really jumped out at me was that thanksgiving does include these concepts of speaking well of God “from whom all blessings flow” and when I thank God it does open up my heart to enter his presence with praise and thanksgiving. Thanking God can be a means of expressing my good opinion of him or if you want to be more formal, thanksgiving gives honor and glory to God.

I leave you with this doxology, Gloria Patri:

"Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit: as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be for ever. Amen."

P.S. Next time I’ll share some of the “prayers” I have been collecting in the coupon organizer and filing under their categories. I plan to add the doxologies of different church traditions to the doxology section.

Solace in Solitude

2010-07-03T20:33:00.000-05:00

My sister noticed this lone flower growing out of the stone wall. She mentioned that I should take a picture of it. So just before my month long visit with her and her family in Scotland ended, I snapped this photo. Now that I am back home, this photo gives me strange comfort. The word solace comes from a Latin root meaning "to console". Images evoke emotion, and photos remind us of a moment, but art speaks to our heart. So this is more than a photo to me, it is an icon of solitude. Some may think it shows fortitude because this scrawny poppy plant rooted itself in a stone wall, not the usual soil for prospering. I find much comfort in solitary moments. Quiet times of reflection on life and all its beauty and pain. This captured memory becomes a prayer that its beauty and loneliness will alleviate for a brief moment the grief and anxiety that crowd our days. When my sister looks at it she will know that I am praying for her to experience relief and a wistful moment of consolation knowing that we are together, even though we are miles parted.

Photo Op with William Wallace

2010-06-11T04:49:00.000-05:00

At the Cross

2010-04-03T21:18:00.000-05:00

"At the cross, at the cross where I first saw the light,

And the burden of my heart rolled away,

It was there by faith I received my sight,

And now I am happy all the day!"

Isaac Watts

For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities-his eternal power and divine nature-have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse. Romans 1:20 NIV

While on vacation last week, my husband and I were out walking around a campground in Kentucky. We came upon an outdoor chapel with this cross at the "altar" area. Later in the week, I woke up with the sunrise and walked back over to sit and enjoy some time with God before the day started. As I walked up and saw the cross, my heart started singing an old hymn that we used to sing at the little country church where I first met my Savior. “At the cross, at the cross, where I first saw the light…” Tears brimmed as I was overwhelmed with the simplicity of this faith that I have clung to over the years. “Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so” or you could say for the Cross tells me so.

I had really looked forward to lots of time soaking in God’s word and reading on this vacation, since lately a lot of my mental time is consumed with school work. I was a bit disappointed, as it just didn’t work out to spend uninterrupted time reading and journaling. I would read a Psalm each morning, and then once we got out on the boat, the ride jostled me too much to do any reading.

After awhile I realized that God was inviting me to just enjoy His quiet presence through the surrounding joys of nature…rushing water, breezes blowing through my hair, sunshine on my face and the greening of the landscape that unfolded each day. By the end of the week the redbuds and dogwoods were blooming along with the Bradford pear trees. We saw all kinds of water fowl: two bald eagles, pelicans, ducks, geese, blue heron, and osprey to name a few…all carefree and proclaiming the majesty of God.

Confess: Agree With, Admit or Acknowledge

2010-03-13T07:42:00.000-06:00

And all of us have had that veil removed so that we can be mirrors that brightly reflect the glory of the Lord. And as the Spirit of the Lord works within us, we become more and more like him and reflect his glory even more.

(2 Corinthians 3:18 NLT)

“Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of all?” This is not a question that any of us would admit that we ask each morning as we are getting ready in front of our mirrors, but we may think it, or we may be asking a different question. The one I often ask is “Am I really beautiful?” I am not necessarily pondering my outward appearance. I am looking for something deeper. I am longing for affirmation, acceptance, desirability or something along those lines. To be quite honest, I am afraid of mirrors, and hastily finish my work in front of one, then leave. Sounds a bit foolish, but it seems safer to me.

Confession as a concept rates with mirrors as something I tend to avoid out of fear of what I will discover or what might be revealed, since both are instrumental in personal examination. The mirror unveils physical defects; confession searches our spiritual shortcomings.

With that confession made, I want to unveil some wrong thinking that I have entertained over the years regarding the practice of confession. My thinking ran something like this, when I confess something, it usually reflects badly on my choices or character making confession uncomfortable and painful, therefore I'd rather avoid confession.

While confession does include the humbling experience of admitting that I have sinned, it is a beneficial process. In fact Scripture teaches that confession is for our good, and I am coming to see it as a gift, just as a mirror truly is a helpful tool. Mirrors point out things that need to be changed. If we have a hair out of place, we can comb it back, and secure it with hairspray. Putting make-up on without a mirror would give us inconsistent results, not to mention, that we could be fairly sure we would look like a disfigured clown if we refused to use a mirror.

Confession brings about freshness, a cleanness that restores joy, lifts our countenance, and removes guilt which keeps us from gladly and freely loving God.

A mirror represents examination through reflection. A couple times in Scripture someone asks God to examine them. One is the familiar cry of the psalmist in Psalm 139:23-24 (NIV):

“Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.”

When we allow God to investigate our hearts and do His cleansing work, we can confidently look in the mirror. This idea of looking into a mirror surfaced in a devotion I was reading. The author invited the reader to literally “stand before the bathroom mirror, take a good long look at the person looking back at you.” I did this, thinking that a myriad of sins would come to mind, and I would ask the Lord to cleanse me. Instead an amazing sense of His grace overwhelmed me, and I saw His love reflected back to me.

Here is a poem I wrote in response to that holy encounter through a looking glass:

O God, I look into the mirror,
What do I see?
Beautiful eyes looking back at me
Not a ravishing, sculpted form.
But a smallish, curvy woman
With freckled face and brownish hair;
Nothing to proclaim me all that fair.

Yet as I look into those eyes,
I am humbled to see You
Looking back at me, urging me
To really look at that face-
Those penetrating green eyes that
Tears so easily fill.
So tender, so sweet, surrendering still.

Seeing the truth that it is by You
I have been made
and You love me!
One You wouldn’t ever trade
For a thousand fairer maids.

Through these reflections on mirrors and confession, I hope we will feel freer to use both on a daily basis.

One last thought. An answer to the original question, “Who is the fairest of all?” I offer you an anonymous German hymn: “Fairest Lord Jesus”.

Let’s confess our devotion to Him-

“Fairest Lord Jesus; Ruler of all nature,
O Thou of God and man the Son
Thee will I cherish; Thee will I honor,
Thou my soul’s glory, joy and crown.”

Trust: Firm Belief in the Reliability, Strength or Truth of Someone or Something

2010-02-27T09:49:00.000-06:00

Trust GOD from the bottom of your heart;

don't try to figure out everything on your own.

Listen for GOD's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;

He's the one who will keep you on track.

Proverbs 3:5-6 The Message

“Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.”

-Corrie ten Boom

The invitation to trust comes to me on a moment by moment basis. Sometimes those moments are in the midst of big, life forming decisions, like when I asked God is this the person you want me to spend the rest of my life with or recently when I sought direction on going to college in my forties? Other moments are just the small, life sustaining choices of moving forward or asking for God for help to love and think of others' needs as well as my own.

Another area where trust enters into the equation has to do with the future, the “what ifs” of this life. Usually my “what ifs” worry themselves into my mind as foreboding and sinister plots to ruin my life. Such as, what if I go blind and I can’t read anymore. Or what if my husband loses his job, and then what will we do. Some of these ponderings are actual things that could happen, and some are pretty fantastic, but either way they cause me distress. When this happens I start thinking of all the possible scenarios to prevent or solve my dilemma, and my anxiety level increases, and I get cranky.

Yesterday I was worrying over some plans for the summer, and had myself in a tizzy. This morning I realized that I wasn’t trusting God to provide the best solution, as he has done so faithfully throughout my life. So here I am at a place where I have to stop trying to figure it out, and cry out to God: “Please work this out in your way that is best for all involved. Amen.”

I can entrust the unknown future to God because I do know Him, and He is trustworthy.

Res Novae

2010-01-30T20:23:00.000-06:00

“Forget the former things;

do not dwell on the past.

See, I am doing a new thing!

Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?

I am making a way in the desert

and streams in the wasteland.”

Isaiah 43:18-19 NIV

I have been back in classes for about two weeks now, and it always amazes me when a thread of an idea emerges from different classes. In Latin, we were learning about the word “res”, which can mean "things, matters or affairs"; or as we would say “stuff”. Our teacher likes to tell us about the origin of words and mentioned in passing that “res novae”, literally “things new” becomes the word “revolution”.

This caught my attention because in English Lit II, we were discussing the Romantics, and how their approach to poetry and art reflected a desire to move away from the structure of the Neo-Classicists, who were emulating the Greeks and the Romans, to self-expression and the emotional emphasis that we take for granted in poetry and art today. The artists were revolutionary, attempting “new things”. Another interesting relationship between revolution and the Romantics relates to the fact that the national revolutions of that time period, the French and American, were most likely a result of this new thinking—a move away from the rules and rulers of their day.

This knowledge whets my appetite for revolution in my own heart. Not rebellion, but the freedom to express myself creatively in honor of our Creator. To explore and understand in a fresh way how revolutionary and life changing it can be to follow the One who promises that He is “making all things new…” (Revelation 21:5)

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation;
the old has gone, the new has come!”
(2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV)

Butterfly Circus

2010-01-24T20:58:00.000-06:00

Lacking hope or inspiration? Check out this short film titled Butterfly Circus:

Suspicion or Fascination?

2010-01-19T22:54:00.000-06:00

Taste and see that the LORD is good.
Oh, the joys of those who trust in him!
(Psalm 34:8 NLT)

“Look at the world with childlike wonder, ready to be startled into surprised delight by the profuse abundance of truth and beauty and goodness that is spilling out of the skies at every moment…Plan on spending the rest of your lives exploring and enjoying the world both vast and intricate that is revealed by this text [The Holy Scriptures].” -Eugene Peterson, Eat This Book

Have you ever bumped into something subtle that you possibly knew was lurking in your heart, but you were unable to name it? As I have been reading through Eat This Book by Eugene Peterson, I experienced this “aha/ouch” moment. The book has been challenging my approach to God’s word. The main challenge has been to take a more holistic approach, rather than just going to the Bible for answers or comfort, Peterson exhorts the reader of Scripture to come with receptivity to the God of the Word, to engage our imagination as the narrative unfolds, and to participate in God’s great story of redemption.

My heart was soaring as I absorbed Peterson’s thoughts on reading Scripture in a more engaged way. But then he brought up suspicion. He warns that we must “abandon all condescending approaches to the Bible.” In light of this warning, he reveals that we have been indoctrinated to approach all texts with suspicion. Peterson reminds us that, “We are taught to bring a healthy suspicion to everything we read, especially when it claims authority over us.” He does not say this is wrong, but I think what hit me is that to always approach every text with this suspicion robs me of the fascination of discovery.

When I have made my Bible reading into a checklist, rather than an encounter with “the Living God who sees me” the joy seeps out of me. (Check out Genesis 16 to get a fresh taste of God’s mercy)

In light of Peterson’s exhortation, now I desire to come to the Word as a feast to be savored, rather than a specimen to be probed, investigated and “figured out.” This thinking led me to looking at the table of contents as more of a menu to peruse and ask the chef what he recommends for my meal. I am not against the goal of reading through the Bible in a year or any reading plan, I am just saying checking things off tends toward methodical hurrying through the text; instead of a slower meditative pace, enjoying each bite.

Here’s to your spiritual health. Taste and see that the Lord is good!

Can You Help Me?

2010-01-15T12:31:00.000-06:00

O LORD my God, I called to you for help and you healed me.

(Psalm 30:2 NIV)

He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. (Matthew 18:2-3 NIV)

Yesterday I went ice skating with my grown son and some of his friends. I love to get on the ice and glide around the rink. While skating I noticed the cutest young girl with curly hair, a pink hand-knit sweater and a swirly green skirt hanging on to the rail and making her way around the rink. Every once in a while she would let go of the security of the rail to venture out on the ice. During one of my rounds, she had fallen and was having a difficult time getting back up on her skates. As I approached her, she looked up at me and in the sweetest voice, asked “Can you help me?” I helped her up and she thanked me.

I will never forget her voice or face, as she with no embarrassment or shame asked a stranger to help her. She easily acknowledged that she couldn’t get up on her own effort. She needed help. And she was so cheerful about it.

Her childlike innocence pierced my heart. Why don’t I reach out to God with the same eagerness and joy as the little girl at the ice skating rink? God is not a stranger to me, but my proven and faithful, loving Heavenly Father, who gladly helps whenever I call. Yet sometimes the shame of getting myself in awkward predicaments leads me to timidly approach God, instead of gladly looking into his face and just asking, “Can you help me?” and then thanking Him when he does.

Cleaning Closets

2010-01-13T21:18:00.000-06:00

Create in me a clean heart, O God,

And renew a steadfast spirit within me.

(Psalm 51:10 NKJV)

"Almighty God, unto whom all hearts are open, all desires known, and from whom no secrets are hidden, cleanse the thoughts of our hearts by the inspiration of your Holy Spirit, that we may perfectly love you and worthily magnify your holy name, through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen."
–the “Collect for Purity” found in the Book of Common Prayer

On my current to-do list, I have the following things pending: review Latin, blog and clean closets. One out of three--I am blogging. But the review will probably happen when I get back to classes and cleaning closets may not happen now until the “Spring Cleaning” bug hits me some warm day in February.

Even though I haven’t tackled any closets over winter break, I have been considering the condition of my heart. Taking inventory, if you will, asking God to get rid of anything that keeps me from pure and simple devotion to Christ.

Today during a time of prayer with friends, we read the above prayer for purity to prompt our silent time of asking God to cleanse our hearts before we entered a time of thanksgiving and then intercession. The phrase “unto whom all hearts are open” gave way to the imagined scenario of cleaning out one of my closets.

I began to ask God to “clean the closet of my heart”. I realized that when I go through my clothes’ closet that I often discover outdated, old outfits that I never wear anymore. So I asked God to help me check for any outdated thinking I had about Him and His ways, to remove the old ways of relating to Him and others. To show me old habits, which keep me from totally embracing His tender mercies.

The prayer in my heart at the time wasn’t so eloquent, but the germ of the idea in prayer sprang into a full meditation of what it would be like to have God clean out the collection of old stuff that keeps me from offering full access for the Holy Spirit to work his wonders in my heart.

I want the Lord to look in my heart and see neat stacks of Spirit inspired love, wisdom, joy, peace and hope, instead of bitterness, doubt, criticism, worry and self-sufficiency. I want to be clothed with compassion, kindness and self-control. I desire to come to my heart’s closet to easily find, and then put on the characteristics of Christ for my own well-being. And with enough left over to share with others.

Knowing

2010-01-11T22:21:00.000-06:00

Thus says the Lord: “Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches,but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the Lord.” (Jeremiah 9:23-24 ESV)

The longing of my soul this year is to know Jesus more, and enjoy His presence in all the situations I encounter. So far this year, I have been allowing myself the luxury of a fairly unstructured approach to each day. I know in about a week, I will be watching my time closely, and have much occupying my mind as I delve into the semester at school.

But this semester, I hope to take better precautions in guarding my heart against the lure of boasting in my own wisdom or strength. Rather I will glory in knowing Jesus, and seeking the things that delight my Heavenly Father, as I experience his steadfast love.

May His steadfast love, justice and righteousness be poured out into our hearts this year.

Knowing You
by Graham Kendrick

All I once held dear, built my life upon,
all this world reveres and wars to own,
all I once thought gain I have counted loss,
spent and worthless now compared to this.

Knowing You, Jesus, knowing You.
There is no greater thing.
You're my all, You're the best, You're my joy,
my righteousness; and I love You, Lord.

Now my heart's desire is to know You more,
to be found in You and known as Yours,
to possess by faith what I could not earn;
all surpassing gift of righteousness.

Knowing You, Jesus, knowing You.
There is no greater thing.
You're my all, You're the best, You're my joy,
my righteousness; and I love You, Lord.

Oh, to know the pow'r of Your risen life,
and to know You in Your suffering,
to become like You in Your death,
My Lord, so with You to live and never die.

Knowing You, Jesus, knowing You.
There is no greater thing.
You're my all, You're the best, You're my joy,
my righteousness; and I love You, Lord.

The Holy Name of our Lord Jesus Christ

2010-01-01T20:00:00.000-06:00

Give to the LORD the glory due His name;
Bring an offering, and come before Him.
Oh, worship the LORD in the beauty of holiness!
(1 Chronicles 16:29 NKJV)

On the eighth day, when it was time to circumcise him, he was named Jesus, the name the angel had given him before he had been conceived. (Luke 2:21 NIV)

Over the last few years of observing the Advent season, I have discovered that to celebrate the Twelve Days of Christmas is not accomplished by singing the familiar song, but by continuing to reflect on Christ’s birth and early childhood over the twelve days following Christmas Eve culminating in a celebration of Epiphany on January 6th.

In my Advent devotion book, January 1st and the 8th day of Christmas coincide, which is no coincidence. The eighth day is also a significant time in a Jewish child’s life. This is the day his parents have him circumcised, as well as give their child his name. It is appropriate that on this first day of a new year that we acknowledge the Name of the one who gave life to us. Instead of focusing so much on my own goals, and how I will better my name this year, I want to “ascribe to Jesus, the glory due His name.”

In my reading today, Walter Wangerin shares a prayer that expresses my heart as I reflect on this season, and look toward the newness of this year:

There has grown in me this year again a genuine joy, O Jesus. A personal, deep down, inexpressible joy. Joy after loneliness. The joy of new relationship: for I am yours... My name is written in the Book of Life. As a baby myself—more needy than able, weaker than strong, foolish from failure, helpless and hungry—I’ve seen the sheer grace of your love: for I should be dead, but I live! I should despair, but during this Christmas too I’ve known moments of genuine peace. This cannot arise from me. It had to come as a gift from the Source of Life and Truth and Light and Bread and Love.

Surrender to the Sweetness

2009-12-29T12:00:00.000-06:00

Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ — the Message — have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives — words, actions, whatever — be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.

(Colossians 3:15-17 The Message)

“This all my prayer shall be: More love, O Christ, to thee; more love to Thee, more love to Thee!” -Elizabeth P. Prentiss (1818-1878)

Although we have not rung in the New Year, my mind is running ahead to make plans and goals for the next year. I have had a cold this week, and so I have had more time to sit and reflect. I often get frustrated when a cold breaks in upon my grand plans of thorough “house cleaning”. After Christmas, I want to get things in order in my home and my heart…get a fresh start.

But alas, this cold is holding me back, and all I do is meander around the house from my bed to the couch, and occasionally to the computer to check e-mail and Facebook. Today after some fruitless time trying to upload pictures, I finally made myself a cup of coffee, and I noticed on my Splenda packet these words: “Surrender to the Sweetness.” I smiled, as I knew instantly that it wasn’t just an ad on the packet, but a little reminder from my sweet Saviour to slow down…surrender and let His sweetness minister to me.

Maybe this crisis of a cold seems trivial, especially to some of my friends who are in the midst of some heartbreaking situations and trying times, but His invitation is the same, no matter how difficult of time we are having: “Cease striving, be still, my dear one, and surrender to the sweetness of my love. Remember, I am God!” (Psalm 46:10)

Yes, More love to Thee, O Christ, this is my new year’s plea!

Christmas is Over, Now What?

2009-12-27T19:36:00.000-06:00

But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent's cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to Christ. (2 Corinthians 11:3 NIV)

The days between the opening of the gifts to the beginning of a new year seem awkward to me. What am I supposed to do with myself now? No more waiting and preparing. Just piles of cookies tempting me to eat them. Presents to put away. Time to regroup. I have no plan right now. I miss sitting and contemplating the beauty of Immanuel.

The last couple days I have been fighting a cold, so instead of reading and reflecting, I have been sleeping or watching television. I need a jumpstart to return to the discipline of solitude and prayer. The subtle invasion of apathy and neglect are luring me away from “sincere and pure devotion to Christ.”

Why is it so easy to wander away after such a wonderful month of faithfully seeking His face? What has crept into my mind to make me think I will be okay without acknowledging my total dependence on God? Plain old laziness.

Create in me a pure heart, O God. And renew within me a steadfast spirit. Amen.

Christmas Eve

2009-12-24T08:27:00.000-06:00

“Christ arrives. God enters creation as every human ever has—but though the way is common, it is God who takes that way tonight, so the birth is uncommon indeed, a crack in the universe, and the baby blazes with divinity.” -Walter Wangerin, Jr.

So it was, that while they were there, the days were completed for her to be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn Son, and wrapped Him in swaddling cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

Luke 2:6-7 NKJV

It has been tradition in our family to read the story of Christ’s birth on the eve of His arrival. With the lights of the Christmas tree setting the quiet scene, as we read through the account in Luke 2, pausing at certain places to sing a carol that echoes the narrative.

Our first Christmas Eve, we snuggled as a newlywed couple with wide-eyed wonder as we read and sang together. Maybe even imagining the day when we’d have a little one to swaddle and hold. Over time two little boys arrived into our home. The readings became less hushed, and more of a lesson in patience as parents who longed to pass along a tradition and our faith.

This year those little boys are young men, and we will read the story maybe together this morning as they come in for breakfast. Or maybe we will read it together tomorrow. Either way the joy of birth will invade our hearts once again. Amazing love, how can it be…?

Joy Comes in the Morning

2009-12-23T17:34:00.000-06:00

You have made known to me the path of life;

you will fill me with joy in your presence,

with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

(Psalm 16:11 NIV)

Why do I keep looking for lasting joy in experiences? While I do enjoy life, sometimes I think life owes me sunshine filled days and rosy relationships and everyone I love should live next door. I am missing my sisters who are scattered here and there. I miss my Dad whose birthday would be tomorrow, but he has passed on from this life about four years ago now.

Weeping may last for a night, and joy comes in the morning. I was reminded today that deep satisfying joy comes from God’s presence, and the presence He gives us through others. Yesterday I started out a little down, and by the end of the day I had been cheered by the simply delicious breakfast and some coffee brewed with a bit of cinnamon and topped off with eggnog (which I would never drink plain, but was good as a creamer in my coffee) and the company of two dear, sweet friends. We love just being together. Then I went and sat with a friend while she cleaned. Just being in the same house together encouraged both of us. She was motivated to tackle her house, and I got to read and relax, since I didn’t have to see the unfinished projects at my house.

Why not give some Presence this Christmas, along with the presents!

Patience

2009-12-21T20:52:00.000-06:00

“Patience is inspired by mercy, devoid of condemnation, and evidence of the presence and power of our Holy God.” -Beth Moore

Indeed we count them blessed who endure. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and seen the end intended by the Lord — that the Lord is very compassionate and merciful. (James 5:11 NKJV)

Did you ever notice that patience is related to hope? And hope inspires endurance. I hadn’t really thought of hope in these relationships before, until I opened my Bible Study this evening.

At the beginning of the semester, I wanted to stay engaged with God through His Word, so I picked up Beth Moore’s study called Living Beyond Yourself: Exploring the Fruit of the Spirit. I had left off on the chapter on patience. I had already filled up on love, joy and peace. Patience seems a timely fruit to munch on during this season of waiting.

We have been on this journey towards the arrival of Jesus into our world, but since He has already come and returned to heaven, most of the journey has been a stroll down memory lane.

Once Christmas arrives, we begin our journey toward remembering the Cross. Jesus was our greatest example of endurance, hope and patience combined.

As we look with expectation to the unfolding of His return, we can be encouraged by the race he finished.

“… looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” (Hebrews 12: 2 NKJV)

This hope is certain: One day we will see God face to face, if we believe in Jesus, the Savior of the World!

Soon and Very Soon

2009-12-20T22:46:00.000-06:00

"I am coming soon. Hold on to what you have…" -Jesus

(Revelation 3:11 NIV)

As the time for celebrating Christ’s first arrival approaches in less than five days, some weariness has settled over me. I feel a bit panicked, even though I have very little left to do to get ready. Have I done enough to get ready? I guess time will tell.

I have approached this year with less fanfare than usual, and everyone seems pretty content. My oldest son noted that I haven’t been as frantic, and he likes the pace we’ve had this year. So why am I second guessing this slowed down pace? Is something missing? Peace. Quiet. Assurance.

I think I loosened my grip on the central focus, not because I’m too busy, but out of neglect. I have let my week fill up with good things, but need to keep a hold on those holy, hushed moments in the presence of God. Listening for my own sake, and because God Almighty enjoys my presence as much as I enjoy His.

So let’s encourage each other as the Day approaches…to keep our eyes on Jesus!

But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness. (Hebrews 3:13 NIV)

Hope

2009-12-19T21:38:00.000-06:00

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.

(Hebrews 10:23 NIV)

What promise are you clinging to today? Have you lost hope? Come to the spring of Living Water and be refreshed. Jesus is waiting for you and for me...

A Better Country

2009-12-18T17:31:00.000-06:00

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face;
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace.
-Alan Jackson

All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country-a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God,

for he has prepared a city for them.

(Hebrews 11:13-17 NIV)

A longing that often surfaces in my heart during Advent is the ache for eternity—a longing for the place that Jesus has gone to prepare and promises to return one day and take us with Him forever.

Am I living in light of that promise, or have I started buying into the false hope of making a life for myself here on this earth. How do I live here as stranger, especially when everything here is so enticing and tangible and appears to offer a sense security?

I do not have any solid answers, except to kindle the longing by exposing myself to eternal venues like the Word of God, yielding to the indwelling Holy Spirit, taking time to listen and converse with the Eternal One and worship in spirit and truth through song and service. And most of all to encourage others to do the same by reminding us to turn our eyes upon JESUS!

Speedy Delivery

2009-12-17T22:16:00.000-06:00

Stir up your power, O Lord, and with great might come among us; and, because we are sorely hindered by our sins, let your bountiful grace and mercy speedily help and deliver us; through Jesus Christ our Lord, to whom, with you and your Holy Spirit, be honor and glory now and for ever. Amen.

-from The Book of Common Prayer

Do not withhold your mercy from me, O LORD;

may your love and your truth always protect me.

(Psalm 40:12 NIV)

I woke up early this morning with a mission to complete some gifts I was working on and send out the boxes before the post office closed today. This was finals week at school, and I hadn't much time to work on presents and such, so I needed to make this a speed delivery to bring joy to my sisters scattered here and there by Christmas.

Before I started, I took some time to read a devotion called Christmastide, a collection of prayers to be read certain hours of the day. It was compiled by Phyllis Tickle, an author who has put together several books like this in a series called Divine Hours. I have this hidden desire to be a monk cloistered away praying all day, so I find ways to incorporate their lifestyle into my hectic suburban existence, and this book helps me follow some of their form.

As I read the above prayer this morning, I was revving up my spiritual engines, pleading, “Yes, God stir up your power!” And then I had to take my foot off the accelerator, as I crumpled with my head on the steering wheel of my life, confessing “Oh how my sin does hinder.” But his grace and mercy lifted my head. Speedily, Jesus helped me recover my composure, then I went rejoicing along with thanksgiving for all that he has and will deliver me from.

The advent of the Savior what a blessed event!

Behold!

2009-12-16T23:05:00.000-06:00

...behold, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, "Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take to you Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit. And she will bring forth a Son, and you shall call His name JESUS, for He will save His people from their sins."

So all this was done that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the Lord through the prophet, saying: "Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel," which is translated, "God with us."

Matt 1:20-23 NKJV

What does behold mean? It seems to be from the language of angels and prophets. You don't find this phrasing in the newer translations of the Bible, but if you were brought up on Charlie Brown's Christmas you may remember hearing it in the famous lines of Linus, when he reads the Christmas story: "And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord." (Luke 2:10-11 KJV)

In the Bible this word is used as an imperative, an order to pay attention. When a prophet or angel says, "Behold!" our ears should perk up because an important message is being delivered. Stop in your tracks, look up from your hurrying and scurrying to get ready for Christmas. Listen! Hark, the Herald Angels Sing! A Proclamation has been made. I for one feel compelled to Fall on my Knees. Christ has come, so come let us adore Him. Put down that wrapping paper and listen, He is calling to you and to me, Sinner, come home!

Behold! See! Worship the Newborn King!

Rejoicing with Mary

2009-12-15T09:06:00.000-06:00

To you this night, is born a Child
Of Mary, chosen mother mild;
This tender Child of lowly birth,
Shall be the joy of all your earth.

‘Tis Christ our God, who far on high
Hard heard your sad and bitter cry;
Himself will your Salvation be,
Himself from sin will make you free.

-Martin Luther, From Heaven Above to Earth I Come

And Mary said, My soul doth magnify the Lord,

And my spirit hath rejoiced in God my Saviour.

(Luke 1:46-47 KJV)

In what ways will your soul magnify the Lord this season? Are you rejoicing? Or are you grieving? Maybe you are experiencing both. I often find myself one moment excited and giddy about the season of giving and enjoying each other’s presence. Other times I am sad that not everyone I love will be together, or that others are suffering and I cannot relieve them all. I can only offer a few coins in a Salvation Army bucket or a hug to a friend who is grieving. These seem so small, yet each gesture is a heartfelt desire to give more, to be there for others.

Mary did not have much to offer, except her womb. What an offering that was, and what joy we reap because she was willing. As we sing carols this season, let’s remember all those who prepared the way for the Savior to come into the world. Let’s rejoice that we can continue to spread the Good News to those who haven’t heard yet!

More Than "Only In Your Dreams"

2009-12-14T22:20:00.000-06:00

I'm dreamin' tonight of a place I love
Even more then I usually do
And although I know it's a long road back
I promise you

I'll be home for Christmas
You can count on me…

-Gannon and Kent

There, in the presence of the LORD your God, you and your families shall eat and shall rejoice in everything you have put your hand to,

because the LORD your God has blessed you.

(Deuteronomy 12:7 NIV)

Every year when the familiar tune and refrain of “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” plays on the radio I start crooning along, and before I know it the tears are streaming down my face. So many memories and feelings flood my heart. I miss my sisters who live scattered around. My heart longs for the Christmases I had with my Dad (Christmas Eve was his birthday). I reminisce about the early years when the boys still believed in and hoped for the magic of the season.

This year since I am busy with school, Christmas celebrations may come and go without much fanfare, and for the most part I am okay with less stress, but I miss some of the buzz that comes with preparing.

Mostly though I think the longing for home heightens my desire for Christ’s final return and the ushering in of things the way they were meant to be. A world without the tinge of brokenness that colors everything.

Sort of melancholy, but underneath is the hope that constantly pulses like a hidden stream. We can rejoice in the longing for His return. The presence of the Lord can be experienced now through the sweet lyrical voice of His Holy Spirit whispering in our ear, “I’ll be your home…abide in Me, and I will abide in you…I love you, my dear one…live well…I am coming soon to establish my eternal home.”

Name Above All Names

2009-12-13T22:06:00.000-06:00

Silent night, holy night, Son of God, love's pure light;
Radiant beams from Thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace,
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth,
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth.

-Joseph Mohr

Therefore God exalted him to the highest place

and gave him the name that is above every name,

that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,

in heaven and on earth and under the earth,

and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,

to the glory of God the Father.

(Philippians 2:9-11 NIV)

The refrain of the third verse of Silent Night caught my attention this morning, Jesus was Lord at his birth. Even as a newborn baby he was fulfilling God's destiny for his life. He came as promised. He would grow up into all that God planned for him to be.

At church, the past few Sundays, we have been focusing on the names that describe Jesus the Messiah in Isaiah 9:6. Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, and Prince of Peace. Such powerful and comforting names. The very character of God wrapped in swaddling cloths and delivered to earth to be our redeeming grace. What wondrous love is this!

If you love to know the deeper meaning of things I encourage you to listen to the sermons in the series called Hope has a Name at this link www.efree.org/resources/sermons/

Good News

2009-12-12T22:04:00.000-06:00

And she will bring forth a Son, and you shall call His name JESUS, for He will save His people from their sins." (Matt 1:21 NKJV)

And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bring forth a Son, and shall call His name JESUS. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Highest; and the Lord God will give Him the throne of His father David. And He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of His kingdom there will be no end."
(Luke 1:31-33 NKJV)

What causes your heart to race with joy?

The Importance of Watching

2009-12-11T07:49:00.000-06:00

God moves in a mysterious way
His wonders to perform;
He plants his footsteps in the sea,
And rides upon the storm.

Deep in unfathomable mines
Of never-failing skill,
He treasures up his bright designs,
And works his sovereign will.

You fearful saints, fresh courage take,
The clouds you so much dread
Are big with mercy, and shall break
In blessings on your head.

William Cowper

Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with dissipation, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you unexpectedly like a trap. For it will come upon all those who live on the face of the whole earth. Be always on the watch, and pray that you may be able to escape all that is about to happen, and that you may be able to stand before the Son of Man."

(Luke 21:34-36 NIV)

In Luke 21, Jesus gives a discourse on the end of the age, a prophetic word about his second coming. The verses above are his exhortation to us to be ready for his return. The Message’s translation of the warnings of what our hearts can get weighed down with seemed appropriate, especially in light of the conversation about presents yesterday.

It says, “Don’t let the sharp edge of your expectation get dulled by parties and drinking and shopping.”

I am not saying to skip any of these holiday traditions, but let’s be aware of how too much of a good thing can dull our senses. I for one want to be fully present when Jesus returns, and I desire to worship Him in wholeness until He does return.

May His blessings spill upon your heads, and fill you very being with His warm embrace.

Give Presence

2009-12-10T20:45:00.000-06:00

Happy are those who hear the joyful call to worship,

for they will walk in the light of your presence, LORD.

(Psalm 89:15 NLT)

“…worship without an awareness of Christ is impossible…For to behold Him is to love Him, and to love Him is to worship Him.” -Judson Cornwall

At this time of year I love to think about presents. Not my wish list, but what presents I want to give. To me a tangible gift is an expression of love. Nowadays as the kids in my family are growing up I could make one stop at Walgreen’s and buy a bunch of gift cards. But that is so dissatisfying to me. I enjoy thinking about and finding that one thing that will give the receiver a lift, or say she thought about me.

Another gift that people often overlook is the gift of presence. Since I have been fairly occupied with school this semester, I have missed spending time with my family and friends, so my gifts this year may not come from a store, so much as just some time to be together. Taking a walk, grabbing a cup of coffee, sitting on the couch together watching a Christmas movie…these are the things I long to give this year.

Jesus modeled this gift the best. After all, He is Immanuel! I found a different translation, other than the familiar “God with Us”; it also means “With us is God”. Somehow that phrasing warms my heart.

I wanted to leave you with a website to check out, a pastor friend of ours recommended it, and I think you will enjoy its message and the ideas that lead us to a deeper advent experience. Check out http://www.adventconspiracy.com/

I hope you have many opportunities to give presence this Christmas!

Anticipation is Making Me Wait

2009-12-09T21:49:00.000-06:00

The Hebrew word for expectation means “to lean forward, i.e. to peer into the distance; by implication, to observe, await” (Strong’s Concordance)

In the morning, O LORD, you hear my voice;

in the morning I lay my requests before you

and wait in expectation. (Psalm 5:3 NIV)

This time of year fills us with so many expectations. Some good and some stressful. I was reading a friend’s Facebook status tonight and she was lamenting how stressed she was, and asked the rhetorical question, “Why does this time of the year have to be so STRESSED?”

Earlier this year a friend of mine was discussing a strong sense of dread in her life. It occurred to us that this is a strategy of our soul’s enemy, that great deceiver, to rob us of joy. So instead of dread, we encouraged each other to ask God to replace our dread with expectation.

So if you are dreading the holiday season, take a moment to breathe, cease striving and remember that God is God, and he cares more about our presence than all the presents that we could ever buy or give.

Here is some advice from His word about the best gift we can offer Him:

“My sacrifice [the sacrifice acceptable] to God is a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart [broken down with sorrow for sin and humbly and thoroughly penitent], such, O God, You will not despise.”

Psalm 15:17 AMP

Come to the Garden

2009-12-08T21:44:00.000-06:00

And He walks with me, and He talks with me,
And He tells me I am His own;
And the joy we share as we tarry there,
None other has ever known.

-C. Austin Miles

Come, let us worship and bow down;

Let us kneel before the LORD our Maker.

For He is our God,

And we are the people of His pasture,

and the sheep of His hand.

Psalm 95: 6-7 NASB

Did you know that in Latin there is a verb that means both to till and to worship? When I first came across this verb I was perplexed as how one word could mean both things. I know words can have multiple meanings, but I was intrigued by this particular verb.

As a full time student this semester, I have had less time to just sit and reflect. Over the years I have developed this habit of being, but it did not come naturally. I had to cultivate a taste for solitude. So in one of my desperate moments this autumn, I cried out for some connection with God as I trekked to the secular world each day.

On a certain day, the answer to my curiosity about the verb was delivered to me by my professor. My question was unknown to her, but God had heard my musings, and right there in the middle of class he arrived. We were translating a sentence with the word “colo” in it, and she said, “Do you know why this verb means to till and to worship?” I wanted to shout, “No, but please do tell us!”

To worship someone is to cultivate a relationship. In Roman times they worshipped to curry favor from the gods in order to have a great harvest. Well, my mind went directly to the LORD my Maker, and I rejoiced in this seeming trivia about a word that is now impacting my experience and understanding of worship.

When I worship the Savior, I am cultivating our relationship, not so much to gain favor, but to grow closer to Him, and his purposes for everything. So now when I sing a song at church, I am not just repeating the words or enjoying the melody, I am thinking about Him. This song is for you, LORD! I love you, Jesus! Worship is more than singing, I can also worship Him by daily giving my heart over to him anew and acknowledging our relationship.

I know it doesn’t seem like good weather for gardening, but why not do some cultivating along with your worship of the Savior this season, and see what kind of harvest He produces.

Watch and Pray

2009-12-07T17:07:00.000-06:00

For Thee, since first the world was made,
So many hearts have watched and prayed;
The patriarchs’ and prophets’ throng
For Thee have hoped and waited long.
Hallelujah!

(A verse from We Sing, Emmanuel, Thy Praise written by Paul Gerhardt)

“Stay alert; be in prayer so you don't wander into temptation without even knowing you're in danger. There is a part of you that is eager, ready for anything in God. But there's another part that's as lazy as an old dog sleeping by the fire." (Matthew 26:41 The Message)

Have you ever had to stay up all night to guard something? When I was just out of high school, I had joined the Air Force and one of my duties during my enlistment was to take my turn as the “night guard” of the barracks. I remember that it was very difficult to keep alert all night long. I don’t know if I was so willing to do it, rather I was motivated by the fear that I would be disciplined if caught sleeping. The body is indeed weak, and I’m sure I nodded off a couple times during the night watches.

It is just as difficult to remain alert spiritually. We live constantly in a world infused with dark forces, and the best way to stay awake is to draw near to the Light. Prayer opens up our spiritual windows and lets the sunshine in. Being in prayer is being in His presence.

Also, singing His praise keeps me spiritually attentive. As I sings carols during Advent, I desire to let the words of each song carry me into His presence, and affirm Jesus’ great love for me, and in return express my adoration of Him.

O come, Let us adore Him!

Noel

2009-12-06T21:40:00.000-06:00

Then let us all with one accord
Sing praises to our heavenly Lord
That hath made Heaven and earth of nought
And with his blood mankind has bought.
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel!

Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old.

Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth;

Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness

And rivers in the desert. (Isaiah 43:18-19 NKJV)

As I sang The First Noel at church today, I was remembering that Noel in everyday English translates to birth. In my mind as I sang the refrain I was thinking: “Birth, Birth, Birth, Birth.”

I was having a bit of a hard morning emotionally, and somehow that word of birth filled my heart with hope. When something is birthed newness arrives; of course, we know that a newborn baby becomes a new member of a family. But ideas can be birthed as well. And I needed some fresh thoughts to help me cope with my current struggle.

Later that morning, we read from Revelation 21 about the new order of things that God has planned when Christ returns. In that passage Jesus makes this remarkable promise: “I am making everything new!” Then Jesus told John to "Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true." (Revelation 21:5)

When life’s struggle seems to be getting old really fast, I need to remember this promise, and trust that the present work of Jesus is leading to the ultimate newness of life in eternity. No more death, no more tears, no more mourning, no more pain. Hallelujah!

I think I will go write that promise down on a sticky note, and post it on my dashboard to remind me of His faithfulness this week.

Maranatha!

2009-12-05T22:21:00.000-06:00

And the Spirit and the bride say, "Come!"

And let him who hears say, "Come!"

And let him who thirsts come.

Whoever desires, let him take the water of life freely.

Revelation 22:17 NKJV

“…maranatha had become a familiar expression of Christian hope-a watchword of the imminent SECOND COMING of the Lord.” (from Nelson's Illustrated Bible Dictionary)

During Advent it doesn’t take long before reminiscing about the first coming of Jesus leads to rejoicing in the truth that He has promised a second arrival. Four times in the book of Revelation the Lord Jesus proclaims, “I am coming soon!” This is the final statement of Jesus, and John’s response is a hearty: “Yes, Come, Lord Jesus!”

Does this promise of Jesus’ return cause dread or joy in my heart? Sometimes I do feel dread because I’m not sure I am ready. I am too invested in this life. I look forward to seeing my sons have families of their own. I want to dream about future adventures with my husband. I enjoy shopping and getting read for the holidays. I guess this is all natural.

So how can I cultivate joyful expectation in waiting for His promised return? Immerse myself is His presence. Cease striving. Pray without ceasing. Agree with the Holy Spirit. Abide in His Word.

Let's proclaim together the hopeful words: "Maranatha!" "Come, Lord Jesus, come!" Amen! Let it be so!"

Answered Prayer?

2009-12-04T09:40:00.000-06:00

“…God does not forget our prayers. It is in the fullness of time that he answers them. He answers in that rich kairos, when to answer at all does the most good for the most people!”

-Walter Wangerin, Jr.

But the angel said to him: "

Do not be afraid, Zechariah;

your prayer has been heard.

Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son,

and you are to give him the name John.

Luke 1:13-14 NIV

“Your prayer has been heard,” this proclamation to Zechariah must have been so comforting. Not really, it seemed to confuse him at first, and then provoke uncertainty. Really, he says, how can this be? He can see his circumstances. It was as if he was thinking, "This prayer should have been answered years ago. Are you kidding me?"

I am in a situation right now, where I am pretty sure God has answered my prayer, but the circumstances leave me wondering how this answer is going to end up for good. I wanted provision, and he has provided wilderness. I asked for protection, and the person I prayed for is precariously safe. I have asked for healing, and more pain pours down.

The true answer that God gave Zechariah and Elizabeth was not just a child, but grace, for that is what the name John means “the grace of the Lord.”

Is grace enough? It should be, but often I act like a spoiled child pouting until I get more. Will I trust in the gift of Advent- Immanuel- or will I keep selfishly demanding what I want instead of trusting God’s goodness? Am I patient enough to wait for an answer that “does the most good for the most people”?

Holy, Holy, Holy

2009-12-03T08:07:00.000-06:00

“Isn’t is a wonder…that the mere presence of the divine destroys our sinful selves and all we thought defined us, but that the Word of the divine consoles us, relieves us, forgives us, and raises us up again?" -Walter Wangerin, Jr

And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.

(John 1:14 NKJV)

This morning I was ushered into the trembling glory of the Lord through Zechariah’s encounter with the LORD when he was offering the evening incense. I marvel at how another person’s story can move me, especially when told by a seasoned storyteller like Walter Wangerin, Jr. He sets the backdrop of all the time leading up to this moment in Zechariah’s life, carrying us along with expectation to the unexpected encounter with the glory of God. This scene is even more poignant when you think that God had been silent for 400 years up to this point in Israel’s history.

The first words spoken through God’s messenger were “Do not be afraid, Zechariah; your prayer has been heard.” (Luke 1:13 NIV) Words of comfort, calling him by name and answering a long sought after desire.

Just at the right moment, God reveals himself to us. And as we revisit the Christmas story this year, let us not miss the fact that divinity intersects humanity in a way only God could imagine.

Kairos: Opportune or Seasonable Time

2009-12-02T08:50:00.000-06:00

“Every present moment is well-rooted in the past…. God, you see, is God of history: weaving its past and its future together; designing the times by overseeing the intricate patterns of human events; granting meaning to the whole of humankind, and thereby making any single moment, also, incandescent with meaning.” -excerpt from Preparing for Jesus by Walter Wangerin, Jr

For Jesus doesn't change —

yesterday, today, tomorrow,

he's always totally himself.

Hebrews 13:8 The Message

Have you ever wondered why we celebrate a holiday year after year? What is it in the remembering that comforts us or brings us joy? As we approach Christmas, we pull out our traditions and our favorite cookie recipes. We gather those around us that we love, those we desire to share moments of awe and peace.

From a spiritual perspective, I enjoy revisiting the story of Christ’s birth because it reminds me that He doesn’t change. As The Message puts is “he’s always totally himself.” I love that phrasing, and as my family grows up,the boys are 19 and 21 now, traditions are changing and some decorations remain in the attic, but the truth of God with us never changes.

Let’s cling to His unfailing, unchanging love this season.

Earlier this year Finlay Fields, a band that our son drums with, wrote a song about the never changingness of Christ. Click on the band name to check out the song titled: All You’ve Done

What We Know

2009-12-01T08:50:00.000-06:00

The word advent is derived from the Latin adventus, which means "the approach" or " the arrival." The verb is advenio: "I arrive. I come. I am coming." -Walter Wangerin, Jr.

"Cease striving and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth."

Psalm 46:10 NASB

As we enter the Advent season, I want to take time every day to reflect on the amazing fact that God Almighty has arrived among us, and makes Himself known.

Sometimes I get bogged down with doubts and fears. When I feel that way, the best place to go is God’s word. The recorded Scriptures lead me back to truths that I can depend upon. A couple weeks ago, I came across the repeated phrase “we know” in I John 4. Those two words boosted my faith. I do know some things, and I can count on what we know.

The first assertion that caught my attention was this: “…we know and rely on the love God has for us.” (1 John 4:16 NIV) Not only can we know God’s love for us, we can rely on it! If you go back and read the whole chapter, this statement summarizes John’s assertions about God’s love. The other thing we can know is this: “We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit.” (1 John 4:13 NIV)

We know that God loves us. We know that we are partakers of His Spirit through Jesus Christ. We know that we can come to Him boldly with our requests. Let’s walk in that knowledge today.

-ilities

2009-10-20T17:19:00.000-05:00

“…how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

Luke 11:13a NIV

Studying Latin opens up new perspectives on words. Now I am seeing parts of words, and wondering what they mean. “–ility” is actually a form of the suffix “–ity”, which does have roots in Latin. This suffix is added to stems to indicate its state or condition. A cursory Google search brings up articles about the “ilities of software” and systems engineering. I cannot speak to those “ilities”, as they are using technical jargon, and I am concerned more with the state and condition of my heart.

One day, I was deeply questioning my ability to remain a full-time student. I wrote ability on a blank page of my journal, and other -ility words popped onto the page: dependability, reliability, flexibility and capability. I went on one of my famous definition hunts. It was a rich time. First, the definition for ability turned out to be “the power to do something”. Just reading that definition identified my struggle, I was definitely feeling drained of power. I wasn’t sure if I could keep up with everything, the energy it takes to read, write and think leaves my brain numb and aching sometimes. Kind of like when you start exercising again, and unused muscles let you know they are not too happy about this activity by screaming, ouch, when you try to move the next day.

My search also provided lots of juicy synonyms for ability, such as capacity, talent, know-how, skill, cleverness, potential, knack, expertise and aptitude. My head was spinning with the possibilities. Capacity stood out. It was a nice passive word. It just sits there waiting to be filled. I thought it might be interesting to list all the capabilities my abilities afford me on a daily basis. Instead of actions, qualities surfaced. I realized I have the capacity for love, joy, peace, creativity, expression, empathy and suffering.

As I marveled over the rich quality of life my capacity could provide, I was humbled by the fact that many of the attributes on my list were only authenticated by an outside source. I cannot produce these capacities on my own. I needed supernatural ability. Capacity made me think of a container or vessel that was capable of holding something. I needed to be filled.

In humility, I can go to my sweet heavenly Father, and ask him to fill me with his Spirit. And fortunately that is something he loves to do. And he is more than able. When I look at my ability with humility, I have to admit there are no possibilities without God.

Valley of Humiliation

2009-10-05T22:47:00.000-05:00

"I've never been here before." That was what I realized tonight. I have never really quit anything in my life. I have always pushed through. My husband said that my refusal to quit in the past was a sign of character. That is a nice sentiment, but what is going to keep me from quitting this time. Maybe I could keep trying and fail, but that sounds too much like humiliation. I don't like being humiliated. I thought I would be good at being a full-time student. I thought I would enjoy it, but so far it has been a lot more like work. I like to play and create and have fun, and I have found out I am wimp when it comes to really hard work. I probably won't quit, but it sure is humiliating to admit that I want to, and then I don't even have the courage to follow through with that desire.

Oswald Chambers gives perspective to this dilemna:

'We see his glory on the mount, but we never live for his glory there. It is in the sphere of humiliation that we find our true worth to God, that is where our faithfulness is revealed. Most of us can do things if we are always at the heroic pitch because of the natural selfishness of our hearts, but God wants us at the drab commonplace pitch, where we live in the valley according to our personal relationship with Him."

Isolation

2009-09-16T08:27:00.000-05:00

Sealed off in a thought place
Sealed inside this huge vaccuum
Sealed off from social intimacy
Sealed inside the all-encompassing grace of living
In isolation

Stride

2009-08-25T07:57:00.000-05:00

To move over or along with or as if with long measured steps; a stage of progress, advance; the most effective natural pace; maximum competence or capability.

At the beginning of the summer, I was drawn to the immutability of Christ, in that he is the same “yesterday and today and forever”. This is a great comfort as I take strides in a new venture this fall. I am continuing my education, and pursuing my bachelor’s degree in English. I have often marveled that my most effective natural pace is to be in sync with the school calendar, going to school from late August to mid May or late June, then enjoying a summer of leisure. Each year the expectation of learning more looms on the horizon. This year I hope to move along with long measured steps in all aspects of my life: intellectually, spiritually and relationally. I am in a stage of progressing toward greater illumination, deeper devotion and further understanding of how to live and love well. I will only advance under the tutelage of the One who already knows the end from the beginning, the great narrator of our stories. I look forward to discovering more about his life and how he desires to be involved intimately with each one of us. I want to be a “part of the greater story and to add to the beauty” of his Creation.

May I keep in stride with his Spirit, and welcome the breezes of his creativity in the midst of life on a university campus where there is so much diversity and potential and energy.

“Since this is the kind of life we have chosen, the life of the Spirit, let us make sure that we do not just hold it as an idea in our heads or a sentiment in our hearts, but work out its implications in every detail of our lives. That means we will not compare ourselves with each other as if one of us were better and another worse. We have far more interesting things to do with our lives. Each of us is an original.”
Galatians 5:25-26 The Message

Impossibilities!

2009-07-20T08:23:00.000-05:00

For nothing is impossible with God. Luke 1:37

Jesus replied, What is impossible with men is possible with God. Luke 18:27

from Through the Looking Glass:

Alice laughed. “There’s no use trying, “she said: “one ca’n’t believe impossible things.”

“I daresay you haven’t much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why sometimes I’ve believed as many as

six impossible things before breakfast.”

-Lewis Carroll

How much practice have I had believing the impossible? But actually as I think about it, it is not the impossible I would be believing. A better question is who am I believing? Do I believe God truly is capable of the impossible? Or do I just believe in possibilities? That which I can see could happen or even know that I can manipulate so that it does happen.

Living by faith is much more risky and adventuresome. I can't see around the corner or into the future, but I can trust in an all-knowing, compassionate and loving God.

Let's ponder some impossibilities for at least thirty minutes today. Maybe even more than six. With God all things are possible...

Where I Have Been

2009-07-12T21:17:00.000-05:00

O LORD, you have examined my heart

and know everything about me.

You know when I sit down or stand up.

You know my every thought when far away.

You chart the path ahead of me and

tell me where to stop and rest.

Every moment you know where I am.

Psalm 139:1-3 NLT

Ever since Spring arrived, I have been drawn to the outdoors, and my pen and journal, rather than sitting in the "green" room typing my ramblings to the unseen audience of this blog. I usually muse here and in my journal mostly for myself, but let's be honest in our heart of hearts writers want to be read. So let me know if you're reading :)

My favorite spot to sit once the winter weather breaks is our front porch. I can't boast a majestic view, I live in the suburbs. My view includes the two or three houses across the street, and since we are on a corner lot, I also can look over at my dear friend and neighbor's home. We have lived next door to each other for nearly seventeen years now. Have we really lived in this one place for so long already? Will our oldest son be twenty-one in a couple weeks? And the youngest off to new ventures at the local community college?

So where have I been since April 30th? I have been avoiding the reality that my kids are grown up. That the world is going through hard economic times, including family and close friends. Hiding in the city and getting lost in the country, wandering the shore of the gulf of Mexico in Florida. Immersing myself in the creativity of a summer drama program at our church. Sipping coffee on quiet Mondays on my front porch, and entertaining angels who come for some respite. Enjoying the different pace, not necessarily slower, but good and fulfilling.

I love my life, and it is a great comfort to know that God has known where I have been every moment this summer. He has sought me out in the late night laughter of girlfriends, as well as the tear stained confessions of our heart aches and concerns. Through unexpected new friends in both of our sons' lives and our own. Rekindling and keeping up with the tried and true friends. Being in my first parade on a rainy day on the 4th of July, and asking God to hold back the rain for the parade, so we could represent moms who pray and hold out the hope of connecting with God. He answered with a resounding yes! Hallelujah!

Where will I be headed? God knows! And for that I am ever grateful.